Whomst among us hasn't left their travel vibrator on a plane?

Newsom is one of those fake progressives who would sell his own grandmother if it meant he could consolidate more power. His policies are awful, and his deeds are worse. It sucks he's the frontrunner for no other reason than him saying so.

A common trope in dystopian fiction is that most people smoke cigarettes. This is the absolute stupidest iteration of that idea.

No, YOU are stoned wandering around a luxury hotel.

Study Finds Intermittent Fasting No More Effective Than Conventional Eating Disorder https://theonion.com/study-finds-intermittent-fasting-no-more-effective-than-conventional-eating-disorder/

It's finally sandal weather on my back deck! Time to gaze into the endless void while contemplating the end of days.

Pierre sure cries a lot.

Cactus League starts Friday. ⚾🌵🔱

This is why I have a hard limit on how far back in time I'd be willing to go. I don't want to die from, like, getting a haircut.

This giving "two realdolls having a fight" vibes.

Well, I guess all the mid-market unpopular SaaS tools have pivoted to AI. What losers.

AKIRA (1988)

The very careful line a parent has to ride when trying to not call a 9 year old girl-bully a bitch.

My kids, who have not watched the Simpsons, respond very well to "Chop chop, dog dig" and "I hear digging but I don't hear chopping" as a way to motivate them into doing chores.

"I never knew Epstein." "Okay I knew him but I cut ties with him after 2005." "Okay, we had lunch on his island after that but I only went for lunch with my wife and kids." Dude, we can tell you fucked children.

Dear American Bluesky, We gotta quit it with the tarrifs. Y'all have the used books I want, but these import duties...

Me, talking to coworker: Oh, yeah, here's the assets you need for the project Me, still talking to same coworker 5 minutes later: So that's how Prescott Bush almost took over the United States.

Luv 2 see the "investigate and hang all pedophiles" folks of yesteryear finding work as "actually fucking children is fine" folks today.

(Looking at my API docs site after hours) You're a mess. This whole nav thing isn't working for you at all. But listen, baby. I'm going to work really hard, and you're gonna be a star, baby. Remember when you ran on Ruby? You're Gatsby now, baby. We've come so far. We can make you a star, baby. 🥹

I'm saying this one time, trying to be as clear as possible: Bill Clinton is a serial philanderer with a penchant for women and girls who are far too young. He has used and abused his wealth and power since 1975 and no one should seek his approval, nor defend his actions.

Write fake JSON all day for work, write fake JSON all night for fiction.

(puts on Sickos shirt) Haha yes! YES!

Tired: "Kids these days don't even know the sound of dial up internet!" Wired: "Kids these days have never heard the mechanical chugging of a 3.5" disk drive."

I guess I should probably finish this book some time this year. I should also probably decide what season it is.

He's still a fucking loser to me.

Can Con Classic Cadence

If I can sell them a copy of "The Three EPs" by the Beta Band I will have achieved Maximum Level of Washed Up Indie Dad.

The vibe I try to project with my music choices while making dinner with the kids is basically Rooster's Coffee Shop at Carleton University between 2004-2009.

My kid's favourite bands are Geese and LCD Soundsystem.

Most people use the joy emoji to convey laughter. 😂 I consistently use the laughter emoji. 😆 This is not because it is the "correct" emoji by name, but rather, it signifies the absence of joy in my laugh because I am dead inside. 💀

I don't want to make this about appearances. Hell, I am also bald. Proudly so. But Steve Miller's head looks like a glans without the urethral orifice on top.

Lol

Akihiro Yamada

He's looking over his glasses and saying that boys will be boys and though they've been naughty, maybe you should not have provoked them. Censure this man for dereliction of duty and primary him into oblivion.

I have been thinking about this all day, and there is a whole fuckin book I read in university about it, and yeah, olive oil is a perfectly valid interest, and I would call that person back to see how deep their appreciation is for good-ass, non-mafia run olive oil is. Cc @jamellebouie.net

If you ban all whistles, only criminals will have them. Plus, we all know what stops a bad guy with a whistle.. a good guy with a whistle.

A friend and I used to get super stoned and watch conservative television as a game. If we made it to a commercial break, we win. If we need to change the channel before a commercial break, we lost. Our record was 0-15 before we decided we'd rather play Mario Party.

Not news: The Democratic establishment is just as shitty and racist as the GOP. Again, GOP bomb countries with warplanes, Dems bomb a country with warplanes while wearing a Kente cloth.

"In my opinion ICE are the bad guys. I am not proud that the company I enjoy so much working for is part of this."

Bovino's major mistake? Going full Nazi.

She's crying to JD Vance about the mean Canadians who didn't race that day.

OG Millennial Hater Here: The books kinda suck, and she has always sucked. Her weird "Dumbledore is gay" thing was bullshit, and done strictly for marketing. Her real-deal non-Haret Potter novel was critically panned. Her loud anti-trans stance is a desperate attempt to stay relevant. Fuck her.

"It's not only lazy — it's boring too!" This concludes my take on using AI to write "news articles".

Honestly, I like the fancy DAC I bought for the sound quality it provides, but I REALLY like the big knob on it that works as a play/pause button as well. I always feel like I'm on a game show when I use it.

Meanwhile, here I am, wandering around an empty 1600 square foot office suite trying to find where I put down my cup of coffee.

Even the way he growls "Is everyone press" shows the disdain these people have for humanity. It does not matter if you are press or not. You can, and should, apply the same level of surveillance to them that they apply to you.

Two things can be true at once: - The Sign Sauer P320 has a bad design that can cause it to discharge accidentally, causing safety risks to users, including Canada's JTF2, and is often replaced by a P226 which has a more stable design. - ICE is a violent gang of fascists who want to murder you.