What the fuck is the source of the marketing data for all these dickhead lawyers and massage therapists and doctors who are suddenly sending Tim ads in the mail after his car accident? Makes me furious.

Happy Halloween from my doofy little Animal Crossing island!

I subscribe to @wired.com and yet I cannot scroll more than a couple of paragraphs in an article without it loading more ads, throwing off my spot in the article entirely, then getting so overworked loading ads it crashes to a “can’t open this page” error. Enshittification.

Is there an official Reddit account on bsky? I’ve been shadowbanned on Reddit since July and it is getting REALLY ANNOYING.

I’m 2/2 this year on the zeitgeist doing some classic gothic horror novels dirty with adaptations. Not only is it clear Frankenstein got shafted but The Phantom of the Opera novel is SO FUNNY!

I’ve been tasked with officiating a very important wedding, non-religious, I welcome your advice and resources! (Already got ordained w/ the ULC.)

If “foetid” and “ichor” are in your horror novel’s vocabulary then hot diggity that’s gonna be right up my alley!

Just a friendly reminder I love Halloween and spooky season but if you jump scare me on purpose I will slap you in the face, start crying, and never speak to you again.

Got a real cuddle puddle going on over here.

We put in ten miles walking around Manhattan, through Chinatown and over the bridge into Brooklyn and BOY. ARE. MY. DOGS. BARKING.

Goddamnit am I glad I saw Keanu and Alex as Estragon and Vladimir. Absolutely blown away. Thank you, @alexwinter.com!

Once again, @edzitron.com gives (a lot of) words to the feelings of disgust and doom I get in the pit of my stomach every time my employer insists I need to “do AI” to grow in my job. www.wheresyoured.at/the-case-aga... (Seriously tho, I fucking love Ed. And I fucking hate generative AI.)

How small is my home town? The bar owner is pouring a round of Fireball shots for us to down in honor of my deceased father.

The Long Walk is great if your goal is to want to throw up from stress for 2+ hours. (No but really it’s excellent I cried twice.)

Can confidently say, having seen them twice now, a live System of a Down show is the closest I’ll ever get to a religious experience.

The only digital place I think you can find it is in the Second Frederic Brown Megapack, but if you can track down the short story Man of Distinction I highly recommend it. A+ sci-fi satire that’s laugh out loud funny in just a few pages.

I’m a massive Fred Brown fan and would you just LOOK at this 1958 paperback cover. *drool*

Did anybody check if Liz Truss was at the White House recently

*sits on the grim reaper’s lap* Please please please I’ve been good all year

I’m taking the Borealis to Chicago tomorrow and I’m very excited! I welcome your hot tips. Also, tangentially related, your hot tips on getting in/out of Soldier Field.

Put on Fox News real quick, just to check, and yes it is being as ghoulish about this as you’d imagine it is.

Anyone want to buy my extra System of a Down ticket for Monday 9/1 at Soldier Field in Chicago? The only catch is you have to sit by me!

Hit gold medallion status booking flights back to Omaha for dad’s celebration of life next month 😐😐😐

My sis left her shitty job after 2.5 yrs, they’re withholding her last paycheck and saying she owes more to cover the pro-rated sign-on bonus that required her to be employed for at least 3 years. I get owing, but can they withhold a paycheck that was earned? Any lawyer friends have thoughts?

Anyway, the obit.

Pro tip to funeral director admins: when someone sends you copy for their dad’s obit and asks specifically that you “use this exact copy” don’t run it through ChatGPT and send them back an uncanny valley obit.

@johnmoe.bsky.social how dare you schedule a Wits reunion show when I’m gonna be out of town! 😭

I HAD a favorite margin headline from @theonion.com but now I’ve got a NEW favorite margin headline from @theonion.com.

Okaaaaayyyyyy maybe I’m just wound a little too tight these days but I really fucking hated watching Eddington. Jesus fucking Christ.

When I get stressy I like to walk into Dream Haven, say some author names, watch the clerk flit excitedly through the stacks and return with those names and also a random reco, then walk out with goodies.

I feel like a god!

And I’ll be there too which is weird cuz I never do anything anymore!

Every six months or so I get the Spring Cleaning song from Rocko’s Modern Life stuck in my head. Today is one of those days.

@isaacbutler.bsky.social btw reading The Black Prince right now and it is STRESSING! ME! OUT!

Bird ownership means saying things like: “I asked you to stop chewing on my face while I’m eating.” And “Either stick your head in the water or get off the coffee pot, you gotta make a call.”

You gotta be kidding me with today’s purple NYT Connection. Cmooooooooooooooon.

Only now have I truly achieved Becoming My Mother nirvana. I have ascended and become one with Janet.

Ok I’m officially an Old because I just marched across this mall food court to tell two broccoli haired teens to “stop shooting bobas out of your straws at people, what the fuck are you doing”

Anyone in the twin cities interested in buying a whole iPad setup thingy? 3rd gen iPad Air 256gb, Apple Pencil, Smart Keyboard, protective case - all about 6 years old, $150 bucks.

To celebrate seeing @alyankovic.bsky.social in concert tonight, here’s a pic of Bennie perched on my Weird Al tattoo. Bonus Al Funko Pop somewhere in this photo.

Single buds: my newly divorced early 40s gal pal wants to know which dating app she should download, toss me your recos!

When you know nothing about the NBA but do know we just bombed a country in the Middle East AGAIN, “Halliburton” posts write checks your brain that your imagination cannot cash.

Ok can I get mad about something for a sec? The blurb copy on AppleTV for 2019’s Rambo: Last Blood starts “Almost forty years after he drew first blood…” THE WHOLE POINT OF FIRST BLOOD IS RAMBO DID NOT DRAW FIRST BLOOD, THE COP DID. Ok, that’s all.

Ok whomst can I pay to help me update a resume that hasn’t been touched in 5 years

Still trying to sell this IKEA side board thingy that we used as an entertainment center. Great condition! Come get it! Cmoooooon! minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/fuo/d/mi...

WOOF. 😮‍💨

Hayward, Wisconsin (!!) really showed up for No Kings today. Hundreds of people at a main downtown intersection.

Ok somebody come buy this 60” 2014 Samsung smart tv + wall mount + sound bar and woofer for a cool $100, I want it out of my living room.

Celebrating my mid-eighties birthday today properly: by listening to Oingo Boingo’s Dead Man’s Party on cassette. 🥳💀

The happiest place on earth is your Animal Crossing island on your birthday.