I approve this change.

That's why every Friday evening I look like Ben Swain going on Newsnight #TOTP

It means nothing to me. Oh.

Timeline cleanse. Everybody needs a bit of Ron Swanson dancing in their lives from time to time.

To celebrate a sunny morning here’s You Are My Sunshine, bred by Fryer; Golden Beauty, bred by Kordes. Happy #RoseWednesday everyone, have a good day. 🌱

I like these. I like these a lot.

Happy Wen's Day.

This came up in my Facebook memories. Lockdown was weird, horrible, and a little bit discombobulating. But memes.

I keep being told that AI may one day take my job, but earlier today I had to help a man move a goat and a sheep. So good luck, Claude.

I'm going to try this line on the persistent and slightly rude cold caller who won't leave me alone at work.

If you see this, post a robot 🤖

This is genuinely wonderful - such attention to detail, with some lovely little nods to the original.

What exactly is happening in this ph...actually scrap that, I don't want to know 🤮

If it's wrong to trick Alexa into swearing, then I don't want to be right.

I think I remember this from early 2020

Umm. Whose bones?

Bluesky - You won’t believe what the UKs defence attaché to the UAE is?? Sandy Sandilands! They send him to the land of sand!

No. I'm not going there. Pure class, me. #CallMyBluff

How posh people describe periods #CallMyBluff

The official currency of SE16 #CallMyBluff

What you get when a lion shags a unicorn #CallMyBluff

Friend of Mar and Midg #CallMyBluff

Like a semibrefe, but shorter. #CallMyBluff

And disturbia the peace.

If only Studio 4 at Television Centre had had one of these posters when #TOTP was still being made.

Kwasi Kwarteng has a cypto business?! I might invest. Or I might make paper planes out of £20 notes and launch them off a bridge. Who can say which would give the better return?

It's been that sort of day 😂 🐔

Ah, so that's why it's all going to shit. I did wonder.

Happy Monday to those who celebrate.

This looks utterly devastating. Hoping everyone stays safe.

I don't even trust AI to tell me what day it is, never mind making literal life-or-death decisions.

Here in the UK it's only just under 4 hours. Not sure what happens at midnight, do they turn into pumpkins or something? 🤔

Everywhere I go, something reminds me of him… 😜

Now I'm vaguely awake again, I'm trying to catch up with F2 and F3. Has there ever been a user interface as badly designed as Now TV? It's like they're playing hide-and-seek with their programmes, secretly hoping that you won't watch them.

Remind me why I'm stupid enough to be up at 3:30am to watch #F1 #AustralianGP? Here's hoping these new regulations deliver a great race 🏁

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRBo... I'm trying to compile my definitive list of the all time greatest TV theme songs. Suggestions welcome, but I'll open with Roobarb and Custard.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m... This will be way past my bedtime as I'm getting up stupidly early tomorrow, but there's three - count 'em - THREE episodes of this on BBC Two this evening. Not necessarily in the right order... #TOTP #notTOTP #OneHitWondersAtTheBBC

there's so much bad in the world but there's also people who lift up and carry an elderly bat around every day so he can pretend he's flying again, and that's the part of the world I think is worth fighting for

Whooaa! I've seen Omid Djalili's standup live, and been at several TV show recordings with him. Always thought he was a decent chap. His self-serving attempt at justifying playing the bonesaw festival was bad enough, but this conspiracy nonsense is something else. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

I got bored while watching the replay of qualifying. Happy early Easter!

Oh dear. But what a gift for Kimi as the team get handed some extra time to fix his Merc #F1 #AustralianGP

Morning, fellow #F1 fans who are awake at stupid o'clock for #AustralianGP qualifying. Let's see what these new regulations bring when the stopwatch is running for real.

Never been happier that I quit X and joined this place.

Tell me about it. Thirty-odd years since I left, and never once have I had to solve a quadratic equation. #TOTP #notTOTP

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQHU... War - HUH! What is it good for? Well, have you SEEN the share price of Lockheed Martin this week?!

How long can they keep these rhymes up? Is that how Movember got started? #TOTP #notTOTP

Oh America. You were SO close to getting it right, and then you let everything slip away from you.

"I'm sorry sir, but this is an 18 - 25 Railcard and I'll need to see some ID" #TOTP #notTOTP

"She calls it Garfunkling" #TOTP #notTOTP