oh look depressurized blobfish david ellison has once again asked daddy to buy him a toy

I know the enemy of my enemy is my friend but in this case I will just continue to have two enemies and hope they destroy one another

il dookie is literally trotting out made up WMDs lmao what year is it!

you know, gotta love my friends because I tell them I need a rich wife and immediately one of them invites me to lesbian cabal game night. like yes duh of course

grey hair is cute and fun! it’s like what is that? tinsel? hell no, it’s just my hair growing out of my head all shiny. 10/10 no comments

(autistically not understanding what’s going on) haha yeah! I have an FP too. absolutely love my favorite pants

three cars in a row not stopping at the stop sign just to sit at a red light for a good 30 seconds is a nice metaphor for how dumb our country is right now

those kids in Scream are so stupid. obviously just call Ghostface Killah. problem solved dumbasses

mmmm i’m certain it is not

Possibly the strangest set of Trek covers I’ve pitched

NEW: WSJ now confirming my reporting that the DOJ is withholding at least three FBI interviews with a woman who told the FBI that Trump sexually assaulted her when she was a child www.wsj.com/us-news/law/...

Everyone should fear a government that defines itself by faithlessness and oathbreaking. It's not mere charity to protect trans people; protecting trans people protects the whole body politic!

disputing neurogenesis? in 2026? girl do you think the earth is flat too

thanks for giving me your incomplete, divided attention

was talking to a friend about living in williamsburg and realized that was almost TWENTY YEARS AGO and I think maybe it’s time I stop saying “wow this neighborhood has changed”

ok i’m sorry but whatever it was about scrubs that annoyed me (zach braff) has only gotten worse with time

just thought longingly of a vodka red bull? am I dead?

well, welcome to the club everyone lol happy to have y'all join me at il pussy palazzo

please do not subject me to hearing white men perform sprechstimme post-punk to shit guitar beats! thank you!

broken clock is right twice a year, so listen to genocidal meat man and stop eating beef (or any meat)

tonight I practice the ancient art of ignoring things that are horrible and annoying

the way Homer introduces himself as “Guy Incognito” just kills me

ben can I bring you to passover with me just for a few minutes to explain this to some folks

stupid. what you want is to aim a little higher, like 2-3 inches, and just bash yourself right to death

I really cannot emphasize enough how much producers need to turn up the drums in the mix

wow that AI slop xfinity Jurassic Park commercial is almost as bad as the movies themselves

yes of course I have a poem about this (I have a poem about everything)

parents complaining to me about parenting are not going to find a sympathetic ear because I’m actually on the kid’s side of whatever you’re arguing

idiot. everyone’s heard the song. we all know it’s a place on earth

thank god we’re covering all this unshoveled snow with two more feet of snow, I was starting to worry it might disappear before april

oh good all my life was really missing was a recording of that one time I called into 7 second delay in college

Joseph and Potiphar's Wife by Alexander Rothaug (1870-1946)

big ups to my mom, a programmer from the 70s til the 90s and big anna akhmatova stan, who realized LLMs are garbage immediately because the first thing she asked chatgpt to do when she saw it a couple years ago was to write her a poem that she said completely sucked

sometimes you just need a #shortpoemsunday for @tomsnarsky.bsky.social

as someone who’s vegan and doesn’t use LLMs and doesn’t have a car I just cannot understand all of the kvetching about abstention from dildos like Doctorow. being ethical takes EFFORT! effort is the POINT OF BEING ALIVE, is this the same guy who complained the internet is bad bc robots write it now?

just realized my “trap and skeet” shirt has entirely two different meanings depending on where I wear it

press your cock? press your cuck?

crazy how it’s illegal for an animated character to live anywhere but a little ranch house. smh some of our laws are just too much

Many disabled and chronically ill people are demonized for not working full-time jobs, when the truth is they can be forced out due to inaccessible policies. www.theguardian.com/world/2026/f...

it’s also because it sucks and isn’t fun. the early internet was fun and didn’t suck.

sometimes you just need a #poem for a saturday, I think

once I saw the best film ever made and it was called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats and I think about it all the time

all my posts should be read in your head in a thick north jersey/new york accent for realism

I said from the jump this dude was just another climber and a rat who would lie to all of you but no one wants to ever listen, they just want to be delusional, and now library and park budgets are being slashed and homeless encampments are being raided and 20 people were allowed to die in the cold.

it’s only a bad day if it ends in ay

im sorry but I think food is stupid. I know you’re all really hype about it

what the fuck is going on astrologically today because phewwww

this is why Facebook should have been split up after the Cambridge Analytica scandal :) they’re just doing it all over again because all they had to do was pay a teeny tiny fine

refund to IMPORTERS?! I’m going to fucking screeeeeeeeaaaasaaaaam forever aren’t I