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Dead Parentmaxing at the boneyard

Really smells like the master chef on floor three is stewing up some premium diarrhea

What's his Royal Anus up to this holiday season? Consciousness of guilt shit posting, naturally

i sold my antipsychotic meds to buy my ai girlfriend a new model upgrade for christmas. but then i found out she sold her data center to buy me a gun

Unfortunately pour vous I'm both a dick and a bitch

I recently learned the word "escheat" which is when the government wants to take your unclaimed investments or something. Anyway I bought crypto and made $11. Hahahahahahahaaaaaa I need a job.

If he's not in jail or dead within a few days there is truly no justice. This shit is revolting.

Trump found out something could increase more than 100% and now thinks he's a big brain maths genius

If I ever pick the guitar again, I'll probably try to freakenstein it, and... I'll use this neck from Steve Vai's signature guitar. I hate that I love it so much. HAHAHA

For some reason, a lot of idiots believe artists are born with talent, and didn't work for it. I think that's why we see language about "gatekeeping" in AI, when in reality, you just went to business school instead of art school. You're not an expert now.

It smells like someone is burning the worst piece of meat

Hey Ty-Ty, if you want to see a virgin on screen, flip your camera round.

Jesus said prayers are private. Go into a closet and pray. He also said it's cool to yoink it publicly. Complicated guy. He loves you.

Self-Awareness level: Chuck Schumer

I think Igor had a bad night. It was very dark and rainy. He seems unsettled.

You can't take "the heat" of me disagreeing in a normal way? Go back to Indiana, the least memorable state in the union.

Handing my resumé to the manager at macy's that says I was design lead for the largest retailer in the history of commerce in hopes that I can now make $9 an hour helping rude people and folding shirts.

Igor, who does not appear in the Epstein files

I have only *2* vertebrae without visible issues. Very cool! I am practically a slime with two eyeballs.

I literally interacted with Bari Weiss weekly and she never once made me think she was smart or cool. At all. Guess that's why she is a fascist.

All I do is watch antique road show and eat hot chip

My half-brudder who isn't even POLISH is in POLAND (AGAIN) with his POLISH WIFE!!

It's punk, actually. Metal heads don't do anything.

2028 run is so funny. That guy will be dead by February.

Nostalgia is a hoe

Everyone who has kids fucking hates having kids

One of my favorite things about moving to Long Island is that I can pretend I have thee accent and nobody knows if I'm fooling

I'm in a bad mood after eating the same leftovers for 4 days and nights (too much catering)

We'll be having war for Christmas

Real goofy. Ukraine is also being plundered by nazis from the west. You've been had. Again and again.

Can a decent set of New Yorkers rid us of our pathetic, immoral Senators? I will vote for anyone with a pulse and just a bit of decency to see @schumer.senate.gov and @kirstengillibrand.bsky.social removed from office. These two are a stain on our politics.

Remote start ⛄️

When Bonney said, "Future Where I'm Most Free!" I felt that

Man, I could have told you that I was a good husband until this morning when I slept through my wife's phone calls after she got t-boned by a toothless woman in Mineola 😔

Shut up! Shut up! I'm buying the $11 pickles!! I don't care anymore!!!!!

I ain't got no job, I ain't got -- actually I have a ton to do (it's only Wednesday anyway)

The Trump Bible that my cat peed on

I used to think I wanted to share things with the world, but I don't any longer

Imagine entering someone's home and finding out they don't own a crystal ball 😭

Remember folks: if you have any small amount of artistic talent, any sex appeal, or can make your friends laugh, the richest man on earth is crying screaming throwing up because he can’t be you.

Anyway, Sky Mall is very lol

Clowns deserve better. Stop comparing them to idiots and fools.

Videos on Bluesky are bullshit. I can't get anything to play for more than 30 seconds without buffering.

Sunday School Pastor: ... and Jesus rode what animal into Jerusalem? Me (trying to be antagonistic): a donkey Pastor: that's correct!

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They've remastered Sparkle & Fade every five years for the past 30.

I get A LOT of male attention, but only at grocery stores. Also, I'm autistic so my wife had to tell me that.