Reluctantly joining socials as an adult in the mid-20s is wild. You spend ten minutes trying to get the wording of a joke right and get nothing, then some guy who was really into crypto 8 years ago will post "Don't sleep on adding cinerman to your oats" and get 10,000 likes and a sponsorship deal

Summer bees! Sting at my eyes; I probably should have read all of those signs

Before you attempt to use literally any object you've purchased, would you like to sign up to some shit

My flaming hot take is that you don't find common ground with bigots.

Thought l'd see if I could learn animation using only an old PS4 and some free video software. It's obviously pretty amateur, but it took me two evenings, I drew all the assets and didn't buy anything. "I have to use Al because I was never taught how to-" Skill issue. Just learn stuff. It's fun!

This is fine, but please be aware that as of 2027, wildflowers will only be available on Earth+, for just $25.99/month. Scent sold separately via NoseCore Prime, now only $28.99/week on leap years. Don't forget to share your Flowermaxxing PoV vids in order to retain memories of better times💚

Like, that's just a guy up there. It's just some guy! What are we doing?

If you liked my rewilding episode, Gardening 101, or if you didn't, I'd be grateful to any fellow Brits signing this petition to save the newts. *This isn't sponsored content but full disclosure a guy did tell me that if I shared this on my socials he'd let me meet a newt*

If someone called me a racist, I really don't think I would feel compelled to do some racism about it. Idk, maybe you have to be a racist for that sort of thing to happen.

Saltwater around your shins, your toes, the tops of your feet and your face. It sounds like you're at the seaside. Traditionally, one washes up prone on a sandy beach, but remember that we are arriving here mindfully and intentionally, and so you emerge at the ocean's edge in child's pose, Balasana.

You absolutely can and should shame people out of racism. When someone tells you that it will only make them more racist, they are trying to scare you into letting them get away with it. Accountability and social pressure work. It also lets people know who their allies are. Shame racists!

A fresh AI hallucination. My friend searched online for the Desert Island episode and got this automatic summary. I regret to announce that Ariadne and Dionysus do not feature in any current Unprescribed Journeys. On the bright side, you do get to meet several crabs.

I've had a cruise ship episode almost ready to go for like a year but every time I start recording, some more news breaks about absolute horrors taking place on cruise ships and it becomes inappropriate. Maybe just stay out of the ocean, y'all

Get yourself one of those hard-to-open green coconuts and tune in for the latest Unprescribed Journeys. We're slowing things down and heading off to a desert island for some peace and solitude.

Guys, my mop with googly eyes on it is alive this time. It's for real this time, guys

It's hard to describe the ick I experienced when a musician I respected just posted about how they are excited to start using AI to "generate content ideas" and "streamline" their "workflow". Hard, but not impossible, because I haven't outsourced any of my cognitive function to the slop machine

How can you figure out if a shrimp fried this rice? Don't worry; he'll TELL you

For the last time, if you don't add any punk then that's just steam power. Shaking My Dainty Hourglass

Add. More. Bees.

Well, I suppose I'd better explain myself, or my literally dozen (singular) of devoted fans will be asking where the heck I've gone, and I really do appreciate you. 1/4

Currently trying to download pacific gull sounds for the latest episode and someone has uploaded one that is very clearly a European herring gull. There are some *vicious* birders out there; are you trying to get me killed?! #pacificallylookingforspecificgulls #nowait

I did a rewilding episode last year so thought I should share this. The RSPB have finally released official advice about bird feeders in gardens (particularly in the UK) to help reduce the spread of disease. Sorry it's not funny, but birds are great. Help the birds. ♥️

Thought I'd finally give SNL UK a try. Sneering homophobia in 2026, AI graphics, and every punchline visible from a mile off. I'd make a joke but it appears to have drained my sense of humour.

I could see the smoke from where I worked. Lives lost to the greed of the rich. I volunteered, helped set up rooms for the displaced, filled with donations from the public, unsure why it was left up to the likes of us. It all hit me at once when I opened up a box of teddy bears. Those poor kids.

On this *inconspicuous* date (smirks knowingly) we at The Company have a (stifles laughter) rather *outlandish* announcement to make... (triples price of all food)

When I was a lad you'd get kicked in the shins by 5-8 Chapell Roans every summer. That's just how it was before social media

Terry Pratchett's Watch series is the ultimate Fantasy because it dares to imagine a world where some cops aren't bastards, but still skewers our own system. I'd recommend these novels for older children and adults. They're comforting, there are dragons, and not one character is named "Cho Chang".

You don't understand. I keep doing despicable things and some people dislike me for it. I am oppressed

When I was just six years of age, Chappell Roan told me that I'd never make it in business, and then bit me. Thirty years later I run the third-largest wet car dealership on the East Coast of Cornwall. Five lessons that I learnt were "Hot to Go" on my way up to the top:

Episode fully recorded and currently being edited. I only wish I could dedicate more time to this nonsense. 🦀🦀🦀

"All these Manosphere guys are probably just stupid GAYS hahaha!" Oh, ok, LGBTQ people are targeted by this lot as well but thanks for making us the punchline, that's great. I'm having a lovely time

And today I shall be the first to consume this Ingredient in a concentrated form

And today I shall be the first to consume this Ingredient in a concentrated form

To be, or not to be? Don't you dare ask me that question.

It is *fascinating* to me how quickly some people have gone completely from “we all must work in the office! human collaboration is vital and only happens in person!” to “I can replace all these pesky people with chatbots!” Definitely some commentary there about our society and who gets to choose.

Brb. Got to spend five more hours researching fiddler crabs for an episode that is not supposed to be about fiddler crabs.

Don't forget to mask up if this is your allergy season. It has the wonderful bonus effect of upsetting all the right people.

Hoping to reveal more about our eleventh episode, Episode Nine, soon. I haven't deserted you. 🐝

Semantic ablation is the algorithmic erosion of high-entropy information. Technically, it is not a "bug" but a structural byproduct of greedy decoding and RLHF (reinforcement learning from human feedback). PARKLIFE

This is exactly the right attitude for Unprescribed Journeys and I want that on the record.

You have to admit: He is very clever. (Toboggans into lava)

Joining the crowds of people now following this account so that we will be the first to know the next time the duck gets kidnapped

It's so fun being in a large rural sports club at major times of year. The group thread absolutely rammed with messages from people whose profile pictures and user names offer no clue. Like what do you mean I just got wished a Happy New Year by an Asiatic water buffalo whose name is 😈🧜

Bit overstimmed? Need an escape? Need that escape to be narrated by a snarky guy who also doesn't have it together? podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/u...

I'm going to start saying this to everyone instead of Merry Christmas. I'm home compostable, everyone xxx

Would you like for Unprescribed Journeys to whisk you away on your very own Christmas adventure? Well, tough. Experience Someone Else's Christmas. It's out now.

Coming soon, I hope! A Christmas Special.

Good news! I have created a cosy autumnal episode just in time for Halloween. I wouldn't say it's *deeply* cursed, but a good friend did have to tell me to get over myself and just post it. It will be with your ears shortly.

You can't joke about anything anymore. Because you signed a multi figure contract with the Saudi government that said they wouldn't pay you if you did.

Sending love to everyone in London today (except for the bigots, obviously). Look after each other.