Hmmm, at 13 I decided to chose between being a writer and an illustrator and chose illustration. I also needed some outlet to dissociate from the real world. Now I don't need to dissociate any longer and I'm not sure chosing just just one thing was wise.

Flesh Envoy

Something something about feeling comfortable in your body and enjoying the hell out of doing chroes like mopping the floor as if they were a piece of choreography.

Selfportraits from 2022. Laptop camera + Blender Cycles.

La peau abîmée

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La peau abîmée

Spilled water over my bedside table and an electric socket, hope I won't die.

crow. old gouache painting on paper from around 2016 :: forgot about this one

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Old things.

Old things.

Here's to the drama free rest of the year(and next year).

I used to be super annoyed at my french(emigrated in the early 90s like a lot of my family) aunt butchering english words, but now I get it and it's my favourite pastime. Anyway, "Cannibal Corpse" (pronounced like "corps").

Coldwave 5

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I don't like to think of myself as marginalised, but at times I don't understand why my irl social circle is silently crumbling without me even getting close enough to anyone to get a chance to be awful to them.

I don't know what I'm doing, but it makes sense (I've been feeling very frustrated and confined with my art lately, just with the idea of only drawing). P.S. This winged thing is like my loneliness/decay/mortality painkiller mascot

My artwork is so cinematic and realistic (according to scam mails).

If there is one way to xplain loneliness burnout, it's this. Normal people, even if they're solitary artists, have a proportion of their life filled with frendships and relationships, to me that proportion of life is filled wrestling with a headache, lump in my throat and welling up tears.

"Blue Lard" by Vladimir Sorokin for it's Burroughs'esque (but still unique) narrative way way before I discovered Burroughs. "Confessions of a Mask" by Yukio Mishima for it's very personal account of homosexuality and conflicting identity struggles, couldn't get into later Mishima books though.

I'm moving for work, and me and my mother got to spend a lot of money we don't have. I need help. I'll do my usual commissions starting at 120 USD for one character, abstract background, B/W or simple color. Might go up. Ask. As many spots as I logistically can take. They may take time though.

What movie villain is a horrible person, but an absolute joy to watch on screen?

Reading Victor Klemperer's Language of the Third Reich and it's a bit concerning how I find a lot of his thoughts familiar, from disbelief in the idea of war (ww1) happening in Europe to glimpses of hope(around 1940) that normal people are growing tired of Hitlers rhetoric and would abandon it soon.

I feel like we have the opportunity to turn David Lynch's quote into this moment's "Keep Calm and Carry On" and it's a far better rallying cry too.

Endorphines dans le cœur pour oublier la poeur

Woke up after a nightmare where I was sitting with my mother in a cafe, and ceilings started leaking muddy water, and everything began crumbling and rotting away, and this is the first thing I read, and now I need a nightlight(it's daytime).

What if DAF were french instead of german?

Anyway, back to posting garbage.

I literally wondered why my posts have been getting so few likes. (Can't be that I'm posting garbage)

Few things make me feel as patriotic as mentions of Viktor Kalnberzs.

So happy for New York city today. I hope I'm not naive in feeling it sets a precedent. Because so far the things that trickled down from US politics has been right wing transphobia/migrantophobia and appeasement to right wing by liberals. Turns out you can win while having a clear stance.

If you or anyone you know is on a state ACA plan and has recently lost access to trans healthcare from a private insurer, please send us a message on signal at madye2.39, or email us a tip to [email protected] ! We will advocate for you and your needs, and make sure your stories are heard.

Look who is selling original drawings again after all these years(I'm terrified about how this will go, it's like sending puppies by mail) leopardmoth.bigcartel.com/product/sile...

2021 growing pains (and pleasures)

bh. gouache painting on paper

You don't have to become your parents, you don't have to become any of the nicknames people gave you, you don't have to become your roots, you can in fact become who you think you are.

I declare Latvian parliament compromised.