I’d been to a filming of countdown and afterwards driving out of media city, Salford, stopped at traffic lights. There was a knock on my window and explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes (dictionary corner guest) asked me for directions to the motorway, he was lost.

@gingertucci.bsky.social all the ham.

If I was at a thanksgiving meal I’d be all ’Well, this looks like a very nice traditional roast dinn WHERE ARE THE FUCKING ROAST POTATOES? MASH. MASH, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?’

Tonight I venture, once again, into Television’s Bradford for curried meats.

The little paper bowls you can put in your air fryer to reduce clean up are one of humankind’s greatest inventions. You could get a silicone one and reduce waste. You could mind your fucking business, but that seems unlikely as well.

Cut myself with the lid of a can of dog food. A Rod Stewart cut. A gusher. Tell Quincy MD that’s what happened if I don’t make it. ‘He seems to have fashioned a rudimentary plaster from some cotton wool and too much gorilla tape’

Got sucked into Black Friday sales with my purchases of 6 months worth of antihistamines for a fiver and some new rubber feet for my Kitchenaid. Pump the brakes, I’m out of control.

Keith wanted me to get out of the way of the telly so he could watch the Dallas Cowboys pre-game analysis.

Tuesday

I’ve been saying Charlie Bingham for years. It’s Bigham. I’ve mostly been saying ‘those Charlie Bingham meals are expensive’

Pleading not guilty to escaping from Wandsworth prison feels like there’s an Oceans 11 escape plan in progress.

I’ve got 8 bins.

Higher or lower than 7 bins?

@kathyburke.bsky.social Welcome! Nice to see you here.

How old am I? Well, I’m scrolling through the fjallraven website thinking ‘that’s a natty jacket’.

I don’t know if you pronounce it giff or jiff.

Sky broadband appears to be down across the uk. You’ll be getting a bbc breaking news alert telling you on Thursday.

Been close to losing my temper all day with work stuff that doesn’t matter. Had to have a word with myself.

Just saw a couple, early 70’s, walking down the street, holding hands and giggling. He did a fake trip over stumble and she laughed so hard. Made me smile and also want to cry all at once. It was sweet. Lucky fuckers.

Just had a couple of Welsh cakes with butter. Shove your scones up your arse cornwall.

I’m giving a new brand of butter mint a go. So that’s proven all the women that have said I lack spontaneity wrong.

Wednesday

Monday

Friday

When the twitter mutual doesn't follow you back here

Crushing news

*glances around* familiar yet different.