courtship in 2025 is kind of a vibe

The Argentinian urge to put on the thirstiest Playlist to clean

someone teach me how to let go of the guitar like the flow is too strong

My lungs may be weak, but my brain is elite

I don't remember the faces of any of my bullies growing up, but fuck if I don't remember the exact model of the butcher from Diablo 1

This meeting could have been a knife fight

I don't need no fucking man, just an unhinged best friend and some ✨ leverage ✨ 💅 (the jar of pickles is open)

If I can't get the jar of pickles open, do I even have a jar of pickles?

Teacher's pet, but I'm the teacher and the pet

The enemies becoming lovers I could see coming a mile away (ba dum tss) But the medically induced pregnancy? Yeah, that shit took me completely by surprise

I just realized I can take myself for a picnic whenever tf I want 🤯

I got a pocket got a pocket full of nuggies

Me, nomming my post crashout nuggies when Lizzo comes on: fiiiiine I guess I gotta throw it back 🙄

Just a hot they getting hella excited to settle in my nest for bedtime at 10pm ✨

Stairway to heaven? More like stairway to generational trauma I thought flashbacks were supposed to be 1 at a time not 500

Just me and my lil book of wins against the world Dear book: today I finished the oatmeal

me @me: don't be a robot, u have ur exes for that #divorced

Me, a hopeless romantic, realizing none of my role models ever gave a fuck about romance

Me: All I need to do is work and rest Also me: Develops a system with 84 types of rest

"Love isn't real" whatever, bestie loaded the dishwasher for me

Maybe self love is pre-made empanadas

the biggest perk of wfh today is sobbing with no witnesses

Hand washing my dishes bc I don't wanna bend down to load the dishwasher

How many times have you listened to- Yes. 🙂

I got a pocket got a pocket full of Bandaids. Unicorn Bandaids, specifically.

How much does my cat trust me? I can pet her when she's bathing

How often do I wear my headphones? My cat body checks me to get attention.

Might fuck around and dedicate myself to something I deeply care about

Dating is too complicated so I'm gonna be myself quite ✨ violently ✨ until they either get the ick or try to adopt a cat with me. Or turtle, I can be flexible.

Yeah saucy pasta and sausages is moving from lunch to breakfast I need ⚡ energía ⚡

Practicing self care by downloading Doom Eternal

I'm gonna be spicy and mix the banger juice in with the mash

The frustration of catching a typo after sending out my newsletter 🫠

Running on the last of my fumes and the clouds just covered the moon TT-TT

Hella lusting over this nap homie

I've entered the 'it looks questionable, but is hella delicious' phase of my cooking

A little afternoon twirl, as a treat. And yes he did take a swipe at Schmitten passing right after this.

Oh my GOD I forgot I had a slice of cake in my fridge ✨ ameizin ✨ So glad I live alone rn cause like, the noises

The way a blazer immediately makes me feel more capable

You know she's special when you add the entire album to a playlist instead of the song

So I've been trying to quit cigarettes, but I like sensory routines. Could you give me a reason to feel breathless instead?

I got a sandwich in my desk drawer

Slow down. Take time to notice and enjoy the beauty in life. The way sunshine filters through tall pines and falls on the forest floor, or the green gleam in the eyes of the moss ghouls as they rise from their forgotten tombs.

My hope for you is that you always feel safe and warm, and that you will someday find yourself surrounded by wild Muppets in the heart of the forest, with plenty of wine & books and without a care in the world.

Blasting the treasure planet soundtrack and Charli xcx at 3pm on a Sunday with my door wide open

True love is bestie putting extra garlic on my naan bc she knows me palate is more demanding than hers I'm not even kidding about this one To be loved is to be known

Bestie: so what do you wanna watch? actually, I'm not going to give you a choice Me: that's cool I understand the choice is merely an illusion #thisiswhyiloveyou

Oh my god I just realized I mostly dance with my hips to avoid activating jiggle physics

It's Friday I'm in bed (but it's like a problem I clock in soon I'm snowed in I gotta shovel it's cold nnnnnnnnnn I don't wannaaaa)

The thing is treat others as you would like to be treated, right? Of course I'm giving my coworkers gold stars