A birthday gift for the inkredible @spiderspun.bsky.social because he always draws me such tentacular squids on my birthday. Happy birthday, my friend!

Not me fixing the oven clock at a hookup's house 😂

I spent half an hour trying to fix this delightful little screen display glitch this morning. Largely because I couldn't access my main screen. Also because IT locks out so many configuration options, like screen resolution (2 is the same size as 3). #workplacefuntimes

Apparently my local shopping centre is on fire and there's no one at the doors stopping people from going in, no one's turned off the escalators, no signs or anything. Ironically I only came to get baking ingredients.

Took a ten minute break to get coffee with Hot Local Married Men (he works across the street from me!) and completely lost track of time. Came back 40 minutes later to my queer senior smirking as if I'd met HLMM in a stairwell or cubicle somewhere 😅 Literally #WorkPlaceFunTimes

And that's one ticked off. But I'm hoping he'll be a recurring visitor, so this doesn't help. First whore problems, I guess 🤷‍♂️

My roster has been absolutely blowing up lately, and I do not know how to fit them all in. Poppers, I guess ⚡

Today is wild. First, one of my team "mates" finally failed their probation and was let go. Then I got confirmation that a guy I'm trying to hook up with is BFFs with my queer senior at work (not a deal-breaker, just needs to be managed). And next up I'm leaving early to go donate plasma. Big day!

Not me stepping into a train to go to a house party before attending a dick appointment with the hot daddy and only just at that moment realising I forgot to take my on-demand PrEP tonight 😭😭

Love to still be getting job rejection emails three weeks into my new role. From applications I submitted two months ago.

Disgustingly hot man continues to be keen for unknowable reasons. And l feel like I'm climbing the walls to get at him again. I truly hate being sick. Unrelated: signing a job contract today & starting Monday (assuming I'm over the sickness by then).

There is a disgustingly hot man who wants to hook up with me (again) and we'd planned to meet up tonight but all of a sudden I'm coming down with a head cold and sickness is literally homophobic. Unrelated: I had a job interview this morning (while sick; still slayed) so might finally be employed.

Got my first response from a job application that wasn't a rejection today. Only took two months. And it's not even a yes yet, but at least it's a step in the right direction (which, under capitalism, means employment 😭).

Oh my god, is Uptown Girl just Ravel's Bolero???

Despite the boy chaos of the last month, I have somehow found myself inviting a different boy to my place for a first date feat. cooking by me this week. I rarely cook for others, so the anxiety is already kinda peak and it's still a few days away.

After spending the day throbbing like a raw nerve and weeping on the couch, the universe saw fit to balance my scales and for the last twelve hours my Grindr has been absolutely blowing up. So now I'm experiencing a new emotion (sad confused horny) and learning how to talk to AI bots I guess. ✨💪

Crying over a boy on the nightrider. Could I be any more masc.

She's a life-ruiner. She ruins people's lives.

Liking guys is annoying. I'm over here trying to be an active, clear communicator despite diagnoses and undiagnoses, setting boundaries and being up front about my wants; they're over there being unknowable. Or am I thinking about eldritch horrors again?

My work contract ended a week and a bit ago, and one thing I've noticed is that I'm suddenly laughing a lot more easily and wholeheartedly, even when I'm home alone. Sure it's a manic laugh in a goblin voice, but it's freeing nonetheless.

All I want to do right now is kiss men and read X-Men.

I was guilted into WFO today, and surprise surprise I'm the only one here from my team, so I'm making great use of company time and resources designing a squid for my kickball team (The Gold and the Bootyfuls)

Executive dysfunction/avoidant tendencies have been coming in real hot and heavy these last few weeks. Would dearly love to factory reset my brain to regain some basic functionality, like getting back to my art and also applying for more jobs. 😓

Unrelated to anything depressing, one friend announced she's pregnant and another announced she's engaged. It's like neither of them realise it's Mardi Gras season or that they should be ashamed of their heterosexual proclivities.

MRI results have come in and surgery appears unnecessary, which is good. But also the actual injury itself appears to still be a mystery (maybe I didn't tear my talas dome??), which is less good. Is it all in my head, or is it actually in my ankle, who can say.

Brb getting my first ever MRI. Wish me magnets! ✨

Ok, so I may have changed it almost immediately. And I may have two more on rotation*. Because I may be slightly indecisive. 😅 * My TARDIS squid, and my Care Bears squid.

"Get in loser; we're posting lock screens."

I am firmly of the opinion that we should more freely tell each other that we love each other. Tell everyone you love that you love them. Respond to heartfelt gestures with "I love you too". Just spread more love in general. Everyone deserves that sparkle and surprise of confirmed affection.

How did I completely forget I got woken up at 4:40 this morning by an obscene security alarm going off in my building and the subsequent fire truck blasting high beams right into my bedroom until well after 5. Oh, that's right: the sleep deprivation. 🤦‍♂️

Update: the pesto parmesan muffins were a hit and I will 100% be doing them again. The peanut butter and banana biscuits on the other hand were surprisingly bland though; might need to add more cinnamon if I redo, and/or an additional banana to make the "batter" a nicer consistency.

I have once again assigned myself too much last minute baking for an early morning start tomorrow. Stay tuned to see if I'm still up baking (things no one else will end up eating) at 2am again...

Correction: tomorrow night 😅

Going back to the theatre tonight for a second viewing.

My glasses broke last week, just to cap off ✨ everything else ✨. I'm finally going to an optometrist to get them fixed today, and I realised I can look at getting new frames (something I told myself I'd do after my last eye exam showed an improvement in my vision). So...

OMG the office mum went out and bought me tea! Excuse me while I sob joyously at my desk. 😭🥰😭 #WorkPlaceFunTimes

To be clear, caffeine withdrawals was not a joke. I am so regularly steeped in tea that my blood must be at least 1% caffeine at all times. So to keep myself from going into an English Breakfast meltdown, I've resorted to doing Coke. For breakfast. And I feel, rightfully, dirty.

Forgot to bring oat milk to the office this week, so I can't tea. Caffeine withdrawals imminent. Send help. #WorkPlaceFunTimes

I'm on a (frankly pointless) Teams call, and the devs keep talking about "consuming the payload". I'm all for swallowing, but time and place, guys. #WorkPlaceFunTimes

Getting home with 15% to spare (and a cute outfit to boot).

Leaving the house with only 34% battery.

Ask a stupid question, get a seething answer. #WorkPlaceFunTimes

My manager is quitting, and there is insufficient whiskey in my tea to cope with this announcement. #WorkPlaceFunTimes

Secret Panel HERE 💵 tapas.io/episode/992934

This may explain why I was a mythology kid.

Was anyone else supremely disappointed when they realised Zelda couldn't learn echoes of the Zora instruments?

Not me answering a Teams call from a colleague, forgetting I said I'd WFH today because I'm "congested"* and "don't want to spread it around", and having to slowly put on the sick voice to not out myself. #WorkPlaceFunTimes *Read: too exhausted for that shit

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