my brain can contain only so many facts, why would i waste it on rules and regulations

goosebumps correct reading order

Burgers 2nite!!!!!

gotta be the soggiest rug i ever stepped on

USPS truly a mail provider of all time

all my homies love to devour their own tails

getting a rib removed to repost myself

removing all of my ribs so i can breathe more

oh i just realized it's valentine's day. nice!!! love is so awesome it makes me really happy to be reminded of the love people have for eachother, and of the love i have for others

a nap has fixed me

noticing that most of my scars have faded to the point they're only visible when i look closely. i feel like that should make me happy, but really it just makes me sad. what a wacky thing the brain is!

i love spending time with my buddy : )

stomp clap music bangs actually

are you a wrists guy or an ankles guy?

earth burger emotionally manipulating me into ordering their agave cream soda

thriftbooks gave my package to usps and usps hasn't received it... last update was eight days ago.... i might be cooked

that's okay yall. goodnight. i hope you all enjoy some juicy vegan cheeses even if you think they're stupid and bad and not funny

i hope you all actually look at the American Finest - Imitation Colored American Sandwich Slices 9.6OZ screenshots, they're really good

juicy vegan cheeses

sometimes i desire little caesars pizza. and sometimes. i desire it more

ANNOUNCEMENT: i will be thinking today

donating plasma reminds you how you are a pint away from incapacitation at any moment

caught up to the jokeboat chiblee women's hysteria bit and it really got me. such a great succession of bits. killer.

burgers were a little bit cold : (

accidentally wrote 1500 words about the theology of Dumbing of Age. i have nowhere to post this. what a waste of time

being a man of woman born is kinda republican coded tbqh

(listening to rubblebucket) you came out (based!) of a lady (cringe :/ )

i should get back into west wing. that's a nice show. very optimistic view of what the U.S. government could look like

(salesman who doesn't know movies) buddy, i'm about to make you an offer you can't refuse!

watching all the videos on the internet really really fast

gonna start referring to most machine as automatic. "could you take the laundry out of the automatic dryer?" "what's in the automatic fridge?" "hey bud i need to use the normal sink powered by an automatic pump"

high school yearbook labeled me "most likely"

do you like my origami crab? if you look closely you'll notice he's uncut

don't talk to me until i've had your coffee

back on my barbecue sandwich nonsense. that tasty delicious!

northernlion dictating the events of a Jerma stream. calling out of work because of this

suddenly recalling that time i was in elementary school and my mom told me very seriously that if anybody bullied me i should beat them up

if you wait to think about what you say until after you've said it, that'll save time which can be spent saying more things. life hack!

Combing my muscles

who up considering the lilies?

problem is. mad libs are *really funny*.

dude watch out for that mandline!!!

if discord actually does this thing i'm just gonna cancel nitro and be normal again

reminded of david blaine street magic. good times

put more bugs in the West Wing

discord unveiling a new feature where your profile includes chatgpt's estimate of your "psychological age"

me when the losh is gool

rubblebucket did My Life too???

getting born as a baby and then getting older with time