wannabe angel

pulled the singlet out of my closet… who wants to wrestle?

Un poquito corte de pelo 💇🏼

“What if your favorite celebrity is on the Epstein List” Actually I am confident that Birdo from the Super Mario series does not appear.

First name, Dick. Last name, Sweat. Nice to meet you 🤝

I FINALLY DID IT!!! 100% COMPLETED SILKSONG!!!

coworker won’t stop farting in our shared space :/ just coming to work with nothing but the intentions of being on that damn phone and ripping ass 😵‍💫

boys when they make dinner: 😸

Girl look at all that Botox, filler, and eyeliner This bitch is ready for All Stars

I’m puppy? (This was my most recent selfie)

#Frankenstein #GuillermodelToro Had to draw this good boy.

biiiiiig stretch

We’re about to see truly generational levels of Freak from Robert Pattinson in this

I served in the 69th Oomfantry on the front lines in Blasia during the IDGAF War

Going from “I think I’m gonna die in this house” to “GET THE FUCK UP OUT MY HOUSE”

good morning 😃 #tummytuesday

gay romance options… stop making me pick between Straight #1 and Straight #2

it’s always “wyd?” not “let me give you an armpit job”

My dad just handed me the tiniest gummy ever and I took it without question and then he told me it’s 13mg 😭😭😭😭😭 oh I’m about to DIE

Sparkling Cranberry Celsius flavor drop when???

WET, WET, WET!

While I havent necessarily enjoyed the past five days of being sick, I loved being able to stay home and dig into Silksong. I’m at 90% completion now! But I have to go back into work today so no more eepy guy time for me😣

still sick, send tummy kisses 🥺

🚨Zohran Mamdani has won the mayor’s race for New York City. He becomes the first Muslim and first South Asian to serve as mayor of New York City.

Guys I’m so sick right now 😔 the only way to heal me is oomfie snugglesss

ingrown toenail so swollen and infected I can feel my pulse through my big toe

WE FALL BACK TONIGHT???!!!!???!??!!

I’m still hanging off the buckle on your belt…..

No matter how bad it gets, I’m never putting “Single” in my bio😭😭😭

We've met before, haven't we. At your house. Don't you remember?

Gay men stop wearing fanny packs over your spandex and just buy some compression shorts or a dance belt 😔

FCF falling on Swalloween

happy halloweenie 🩷🐛

Twub, it’s so confusing sometimes to be a twub 😓

This is technically a pump pic 👀🤭

it’s Wednesday again…

Might threaten to put my two weeks in today if my boss tries to offer me another 2% raise for my annual review :////

It’s wild when someone doesn’t like to watch movies from the ‘30s and ‘40s right now, because GUESS WHAT they’re all about fascism and VERY RELATABLE

Just completed the Courier’s Rasher… i feel UNBEATABLE

hump… day?

My dog and my man and my affable silver-haired lesbian are my holy trinity

Jk literally none of these are showing at my local theater 🙃

Generative AI should’ve never progressed beyond this stage

Now how tf am I supposed to see Queens of the Dead, Bugonia, and Shelby Oaks all this weekend?

Crowd Control on Dropout is so fucking good every episode has made me laugh out loud until my side hurts

KATHY HOCHUL WHERE IS MY CHECK AT????