Friday the Fat Cock 13th

I wish the Megamycete was real so I could transform into a hairy wolf man with sharp claws and an insatiable hunger for meat, not like a weird fish man or bug

My ditto leaving a dream island with an entire village worth of furniture and building materials in their ass

🩷 ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜱᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴇꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ! 🩷

When the drink be too strong when the tree be way too strong

Who am I kidding, had to do the set

Love when someone’s hubby makes a cameo on their OF and then I see them on insta, like, I’ve seen your pp heheheh🤭

What’s the sexuality where you’re only attracted to men ten years older than you?

Earth, Wind, Fire, and AIR🫶🏻

doggo

Wrist brace got me looking like a Resident Evil victim 😣

whole body hurts :/

Ricky Dillon fat bear trade?

feeling sooooo squeezable and monchable and breedable bro

Bandaid because I bitted all the skin off my thumb 😍

Charli XCX, PinkPantheress, and Zara Larsson respectively

Why can’t I live in Canada, Ireland, AND Scotland? Why should I have to pick one? Who want me?

Grace Ashcroft got put in the Khia Asylum because they confused her with Gracie Abrams

The Scarlet rot has finally got him, so he has to travel to the haligtree

I’m already over Monday and it’s not even 11am yet. Why did this weekend feel like it was only 5 minutes long?

Federal Bureau of Control be like: “They’re putting AWEs in the water to turn the frogs gay. And also evil.”

singlet sundayyy

How big are you? 5’11” / 180.34cm 195lbs / 88.45kg

trimmed my bush and made some carbonara… who want me?

If he’s a fire Pomeranian… why isn’t his name Pombomb???

Leon S. Kennedy walking into Raccoon City yet again

Pombom 🔥

no war but class war. Working class people that have more in common with their "enemies" than their leaders dying for rich freaks that tell us what we can't afford and can't have. No healthcare, no housing, but bombs forever to extoll the imagined might of weak men and make the rich richer.

BROWT 💚

HE'S GOT A GUN AND DIMENSIONALITY

crying in the club* (*at my desk) bc stanley tucci took the USA women's hockey team out for a meal at his favorite restaurant and they gave him his own jersey

"Bluesky doesn't have the juice." "Real media access is still only on Twitter." "No one important uses or will ever use this site." Skill issue. If you post good, the right people will figure out how to get in touch with you.

who’s ready for some humps?

NEW BDAY HORROR MOVIE!!!🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Saw Weapons last year, and Cuckoo the year before that on my bday. My favorite tradition ☺️

Started Alan Wake II… SPOOKY😳 But also Twink Peaks The Return has had several bites taken out of its nachos so far

BOWLICIOUS

did oomfie’s (@bongrot.bsky.social) chest routine and I’m lowkey seeing more definition now 🥹🥹🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

manifesting

Lestat could do Memoirs of a Sparklemuffin, but Suki Waterhouse could NEVER do Long Face! 🫢

SHE’S SO GOLDEN 🥇 Alysa Liu wins GOLD and becomes the first U.S. woman to medal in figure skating since 2002.

UK: Prince Andrew arrested. South Korea: Former President Yoon sentenced for life. Brazil: Former President Bolsonaro serving a 27-year sentence. USA: President Trump demands $10 billion payout from taxpayers.

going ➡️ gym

who’s ready for some humps?

HUGE YEAR FOR BITCHES BORN IN 2002!!! 📈📈📈

The brightness of car headlights should be checked and regulated by individuals with astigmatism. What does Big Lightbulb have against people with visual impairments?

Had to explain Silent Hill to my 63 year old coworker today— 😭😭😭 “So there’s this guy… and he really fucking hates his wife”

FINALLY GOT MVP AS GAMBIT LETS GOOOOO

It’s going to be so embarrassing when The Vampire Lestat is my #1 listened to artist for 2026 😭😭😭😭

Everyone is LOVING party girl Stephanie Miller!!!

SUSHI GOT ME FEELIN FISH TONIGHTTTT