im falling apart in every single way and im terrified

im doing really bad atm ..

…. i don’t know what to do !

hello …

really really don’t want to be here

im so fat and i hate myself for it. I hate myself

does this look like it makes sense? will it help me to loose weight ? like or am I just overthinking this entire thing. i am determined to loose as much weight as i can … so im trying to figure it out properly

asking potentially a dumb question abt cal deficits ! if i eat 1300, do I have to actively burn it to loose the weight ? or does it count as cals burnt during the day naturally??? so say if i burn 2000+ cals without exercising am i okay??? #caterpillarsky

i hate eds

feel like nothings real n it’s 3am n aaah

but like im fat , people say im small but im fat????

just wanna be small + tiny. don’t wanna be ‘average’ anymore.

ate under 1300 today so yay ! burnt nearly 1000 too — so we are locking back in !

dinner — any idea of cal estimate ?? curry & rice !! ❤️✉️🪴

meant to weigh this morning … but on my period so i can’t + idk how much i weigh + it’s really stressing me out

walked 7048 steps + burnt 399 cals so yay !

leftovers for lunch !! 114g rice , 128g noodles ( thinks it’s about 450 cals ) anyone know if that’s abt accurate???

wish i could ☆v all the way to d3/at/h

it’s my mums bday today n i just ordered a lot of food as part of her bday present + and im so so anxious abt it but AAAAAH ( it’ll be my last like treat thing for a while me thinks ) but terrified tbf.

going to restrict as much as I can this week — but also be a lil lax on what I eat bc my period is the worst it’s been in a long time … hopefully today will be the worst …

“Ooohhhh i dont want bmi 15 AT ALL! I would hate it actually.”

anyone got finch ?! going to try and actually stick with it this time ! 🧐🙂‍↔️ my code is ! A95G99M1X7 ( if y’all wanna become finch friends — Otto needs more people to hang out with !! ) #caterpillarsky

I really wish i could recover and do the right thing and be healthy but i will never be satisfied w my body

disgusted w myself today but I burnt 796 cals ( ate 1609 so it doesn’t really cancel it out but AAH )

on so much painkillers today. only able to walk when the painkillers kick in. this sucks sm. eaten sm and probably going to eat more tn. but that means I eat all my snacks before next week kinda thing which will be good !

my cramps are so bad ( I just had to run to Lidl twice to go and get bunches of flowers for my mums birthday tomorrow + I’m exhausted and so so sore ) but good news burnt like 350 cals !

I’m so hungry bc of my period - feel i may have to up my cals slightly which i hate. but aah we will see. eaten nearly 500 cals already + it’s not even 12pm.

debating trying to walk 10k today or if I should just break my month walking cycle … aah.

started my period , so yay - but also a lot of cramps so :/ kinda bad too.

gonna try to eat less than 1000 daily if I can — 1300 at a push kinda as I need to lose weight quickly

think the company is the worst episode to come back too on a cm rewatch after not watching it for a while … like so sad

i have only burnt 643 actively today — eaten 1348 , so not the best but not the worst + I’m too tired to walk anymore , my body physically hurts.

jumping on the bandwagon !! :33 heeeey !

get to watch Disney tnight !!! i caved + brought a monthly subscription w ads bc cheaper !

cannot wait to hopefully start restricting a lot more from Monday !!

pitch black and I’m walking in the dark to go and burn cals and I’m just bopping to my spencer r1ed edits.

dinner !! cal estimate ??? like a handful of chips and a haddock — terrified and it was not even that good aaah

ate 2k cals … but that’s ok right ? I burnt 2.2k actively / 3500 overall / 36k steps ?? I won’t gain from this right ??? #lemonwatersky #anasky

disordered people of bluesky — what’s a good number of steps to do … I’m probably pushing my body too much + honestly idk how to stop or what to set my step limit at kinda thing … stuck in a mental cycle of over exercising + I’m exhausted week vs month stats below ! #caterpillarsky #lemonwatersky

broke out in hives from walking too much today so uh that’s new ….

guys I burnt 2231 cals + walked over 36k + now my body hurts , really hurts

i just want to curl up and eat malteasers — but I don’t know

i have so far burnt 1596 cals today actively + I want to try and walk 14k steps extra so i can reach 40,000 steps but I’m exhausted - so exhausted

think my body is giving up slightly today and aaah

overthinking meal choices tmrrw — do i go for a margarita pizza ( 824 cals ) or a garlic bread type thing ( 608 cals ) — idk what to do and aah. the garlic bread may be quite small but I’m just thinking of getting it with chips ( 400 cals ) + it’ll also be cheaper too …

terrrrified abt eating fr. like wdym i have to eat like 900/1k in a meal?? like wtf. like no ty, it’ll be good food but aaah scary amounts

taking my friend out for lunch for his birthday tmmrrw + i am so anxious abt it but aaah. hopefully it’ll be ok + I won’t eat too much kinda thing. ( but i may also get a takeout when i get back home bc it is a long day but idk or i may just try to omad it / eat a sweet snack )

do I eat more or do I just fast and hope the hunger urges will pass ?? eaten 1483 and burnt 1225 … so so hungry.

I’m so so hungry but I have eaten 1400 today and aah , I just so hungry

walked 20k today n I’m exhausted