Penises & their attachment are mostly the problem.

My kid's look of abject confusion & horror as he watches Brotherhood Of Man's "Figaro" on TOTP this evening is absolutely worth my torn perineum 24 years ago.

Melinda Gates: "I think we’re having a reckoning as a society, right?”. Marina Hyde: "Cards on the table, I don’t think we’re having one at all". I'm 54 & don't think there'll be a reckoning in my lifetime. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Absolutely lovely shout out for @quietriotpod.bsky.social & @sturdyalex.bsky.social (& by extension @pimlicat.bsky.social too!) on @mrjamesob.bsky.social's Friday LBC show today from nervous caller Rihan. She's a big fan, as am I. Yay for the good guys!

Whatever you think about Keir Starmer I'd place good money on him not saying: 1) "whoopsie I lost that mobile". 2) "it's almost as if the pertinent WhatsApp messages have just disappeared". And he just provides everything he has. He's fucked up royally but he is the antithesis of tories/ remain.

I was doing some hardcore filing at my new job at a Glasgow Student Union today & found this from June 1994!!! @claregrogan.bsky.social Jog any memories? 😄🤞

Drawing a spunking cock with spiky balls on a manky parked van.

I'm only on episode 2 but flippin eck Tucker, Pluribus is magic.

L’artiste français MifaMosa.

This is absolutely flipping triffic! I was a mess of laughter listening on the morning commute to work. Thank you @rosieisaholt.bsky.social & @quantick.bsky.social "You're a legend to the left" "A good legend? Like Aslan? Or a bad legend? Like Morrissey".

I'm a week & a half into my new admin job at the university student union I basically lived in when I studied here in the early 90s. The lady who runs the café already knows my breakfast order. I could hug her. It's the little things these days innit.

Sticking this on Facebook Marketplace. Some dummy will buy it. (only kidding, I'm not on Facebook because I'm not on glue).

La pauvre Marine. Doigts croisés.

My professional prognosis is that "Dr" Oz requires a kick in the dick.

mr mandelson we find you guilty of everything. your punishment is to have gordon brown hit you with staplers for eternity

Epstein & all his shitsippers. Tick tock lads, tick tock. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Just call it "Bad Bunny's Superbowl" because by this point nobody even cares which teams are playing.

I frequently forget when someone gives me £70K *screams into the fucking void*

P-P-Pick Up Paper Cuts! Could this be a monthly renaissance of the @papercutsshow.bsky.social pod?! This is BRILLIANT news. Thank you @nndroid.bsky.social @msmirandasawyer.bsky.social @jonnelledge.bsky.social you've made my flipping day :) Yours an avid listener & owner of not 1 but TWO Paper Cuts 👕

Oh Mandy, Well you came and you took without giving, Hope they'll send you away, Oh, Mandy, Well, you kissed ass & never stopped taking, And now we need you away, Oh, Mandy. 🎵 🎶🎵🎶

SCTV is on Internet Archive if you'd like to enjoy the early work of Catherine O'Hara and her fellow sketch comedy gods. S1: archive.org/details/sctv... S2: archive.org/details/sctv... S3: archive.org/details/19-m... S4-5: archive.org/details/66-s... S6 + Cinemax: archive.org/details/sctv... #TVSky

Of course I have a favourite ring on the hob. Who doesn't have a favourite ring on the hob?

Happy birthday @sturdyalex.bsky.social you gorgeous boy!!!!

Whenever you're feeling a bit down on yourself it's always handy to remember that at least you're not Bari Weiss.

Glyn Dillon told us years ago he was in a bar when he saw the The Blow Monkeys' lead singer He walked up to him & said: "Are you Dr Robert?" He replied gingerly: "Er, yes" Glynn: "Phew, that's a relief because my foot is absolutely killing me" Absolute piss-taker :) The Dr was not amused #TOTP

Watching the abject horror, shock & total incredulity on my kid's face as he watches Legs & Co writhing in scanty black sequins to Blondie's "Heart Of Glass" is so totally worth the torn perineum 24 years ago. #TOTP

I won't be watching MELANIA THE MOVIE because I'm not on glue, but safe to assume that the plagiarism of Michelle Obama's speech doesn't get a mention.

Document filing & shredding at the student union job I just started at the Uni I attended myself in the 90s. Ancient Duty Reports from club/live gig nights. We've got the Full Monty, genital cupping, sapphic slurs, bands being bad, more nudity. Then my favourite - Hannah gets a chocolate treat.

Giving someone a ticket for the Melania movie is literally a hate crime.

When the streams cross & it's AMAZING. Two of my favourite podcasters from either side of the pond @mollyjongfast.bsky.social & @nndroid.bsky.social on @bunkerpod.bsky.social Now I fully understand "Wine Moms" & "AWFULS" Listen up lads. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

"UK-born people from minority ethnic backgrounds were not always British" Matt Goodwin, Reform UK Ltd candidate Braverman - parents from Mauritius and Kenya Zahawi - born in Iraq Kruger - South African parents Marco Longhi - Italian father Lia Nici - Italian father Zia Yusuf - Sri Lankan parents

Full EU membership should be put to the public at the next election. It's time to return home. inews.co.uk/opinion/rejo...

Lads, haven't you ever heard of Radio Rentals & Rumbelows?

Day 2 of my new admin job at the Student Union where I virtually lived in when I was a Glasgow uni undergraduate here in the early 90s. Archiving tons of stuff, all good fun. I just found a FAX!!!!! An ACTUAL FAX!!!! This has made my flipping day :)

When you even lose the NRA..... www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

My dad was a little angry, man. When he was finally silenced, it was exquisite. Samesies.

Sock found in sock drawer.

Start the clocks....

Reminder: All it would take to end the murder of American citizens by an untrained government goon squad is 16 Republicans in Congress voting with Dems to defund ICE (or 23 to impeach and remove Trump — 3 in House & 20 in Senate). That’s it. 23 Americans can vote for the public and end all of this.

In the UK if one was able to parse anything even vaguely for a nano second approaching a scintilla of a balm from this absolute nightmare, it's that Farage is going to be very, very quiet for a bit. We see you Nige.

The World Cup can get fucked. You participate, you're enabling this nightmare.

If I visit the USA again I'll go to Minneapolis. Previously for my love of Prince but now bc of my love for the citizens These communities are the definition of decency, strength, bravery, compassion & pride in their country Stephen Miller, we all see you. You are subhuman. Tick tock, tick tock.

ICU professionals. Famed & well-documented for domestic terrorism. What are they like, eh?

Good Guy V Bad Guy. That's what this GOP administration has told you. Oh, America.

The protesters in Minneapolis are breathtakingly brave. I genuinely feel sick at today's footage. Oh, America.

Ice agents have executed a man on a sidewalk in Minnesota.

Good luck Andy Burnham.

Thank you @jasonhazeley.bsky.social for drawing my attention to this book on @ohgodwhatnow.bsky.social ! The title very much fits in with my enduring glass half empty mindset of "what's fucking next ffs?" which is my enduring default setting.