Ok arizona calm down (Literally got another flash flood warning as I was posting this lol)

OK NEW IDEA WHAT IF I GOT SMOKEHEAD IN MY DRAG OUTFIT?!

Holyyy shit why didn’t I ever think to do this?!?!

The face of a 40yo woman who got ID’d at dinner and her husband sitting right next to her didn’t

Gotta figure out the ear situation next. Progress is progress, right? 😅

Welp lol. As per uzhe, looooots to talk about. Any big or small wins we can help you celebrate amidst this dumpster fire? “I hope that you'll remember Even when you're feeling blue That it's you I like, It's you yourself It's you. It's you I like.” Love yall so dearly ❤️

Welp lol. As per uzhe, looooots to talk about. Any big or small wins we can help you celebrate amidst this dumpster fire? “I hope that you'll remember Even when you're feeling blue That it's you I like, It's you yourself It's you. It's you I like.” Love yall so dearly ❤️

So like, instead of a rainbow pin I think I’m just gonna have a pin that says “Male Buttcheek Enjoyer” and that will basically be the same thing

This is where I’m ending it today. Idk I’m not like stoked on it but it is what it is lol. And I put glow-in-the-dark paint on the eyes and around the leopard spots!

every time I see a biphobic take I get even more bisexual, biphobes can suck my dick

Let’s all just collectively manifest that I can turn this Stitch onesie into Derpy the Tiger. I tried so hard to make sure the leopard spots didn’t look like vulvas 😭

Hey I love you

I’m out on a date with my husband bc I am determined to squeeze every ounce of joy I can out of this god forsaken dumpster fire

Prince or Genesis or maybe Whitney Houston lol

Nobody move

“I really liked that story you told about the wooden demon boy who thirsted for life”

It’s hard to feel like good people still exist sometimes, but I know they do bc I know all of you. I’ve met you and I’ve hugged you and I’ve cried with you and I’ve made the most wonderful memories with you. We’re still here. We’re still good ❤️

Applicable to just existing tbh

Dino is my neighbor as well, and a great guy. If you’re so inclined, please consider sending his family $5 dollars.

It was true in the 60s and it’s true today: What the world needs now is love, sweet love

One of Theos favorite pastimes is taking the absolute worst pictures of me in secret. So please enjoy this small collection I’ve titled: My Kid Is A Troll

My Venmo is CosmoCharlie if anyone wants to throw anything my way for groceries and essentials! I don’t expect it from anyone because I know money is tight all around, but if anyone wants to help I’d be eternally grateful 🖤

Hi my darlings ❤️ Another Tuesday with A LOT to talk about. How are you doing? What can we do for you? Don’t let the existence of bad people stop you from being a good person. I’m proud of us for putting so much good into the world. I love you AND I like you. Just the way you are 🫂 #TITT #AsACrew

If anyone has knowledge/advice about navigating the world of elder care feel free to slide into my DMs! Otherwise I can't think of anything else. I don't want to disappear from the fandom so I'm trying to poke my head in when I can. DMs to say hi randomly are also welcome 💜

Hi my darlings ❤️ Another Tuesday with A LOT to talk about. How are you doing? What can we do for you? Don’t let the existence of bad people stop you from being a good person. I’m proud of us for putting so much good into the world. I love you AND I like you. Just the way you are 🫂 #TITT #AsACrew

I’ve added two new mantras/phrases/whatevers to my brain: “Don’t trust what your brain says about you after 9pm” and also “talk to your anxious thoughts like your best friend would”. Saying “bitch what the fuck are you even talking about rn” to my anxiety is pretty great ngl

Every now and again I like to remind people that Sebastian (the crab) is his last name. His first name is Horatio 🦀🧜🏻‍♀️

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’ ok teenagers in a love triangle whatever but where’s the show about middle aged people finding themselves and coming out of the closet and falling in love? OH WAIT

I’m so proud of us 🥹🥹🥹

Standing ovation for Stephen Colbert 🥹🥹🥹

Noah Wylie wearing a Figs tuxedo makes my healthcare worker heart so happy

Posting these too bc I busted out the Christian Dior foundation for this lol

We’re at a very Midwest Old Money wedding but I’ve had so many compliments on my dress so that makes it better 🥹

Give Victor, not Charlie Kirk, a medal.

“I asked them what their strongest drink was and they said this one has six shots (of espresso) so I got that for you” -My husband. A king

You know who else committed the sin of empathy?

Be so generous with your kindness to those who deserve it this week.

Me 🤝 Fang 👏LET👏ME👏HOLD👏DAT👏BABY👏

Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures

Stepping down from my soapbox. This is what life has been lately 😅 Antibiotics and an inhaler for the bub (miracle workers omg), and running to catch a flight early this morning then being told to get back off the plane bc the pilot never showed up lol

I’m not saying to not acknowledge the irony. But I do agree that empathy is our greatest strength, and we need it in order to create change

Irony aside, I still feel sad for his wife and young kids. Nobody deserves this

At UVU of all places

A bunch of you sweethearts have asked about my janky ole eye 😅 Please ignore the dishevelment bc I also happen to have a sick kid, but it’s getting better! Pupil is almost back to normal and vision is still a bit blurry but definitely getting better ❤️‍🩹

Hello my darlings! We sure do have a lot to talk about!! Things my way continue to be a bit shit but I complimented the baristas highlighter when getting coffee this morning and she gave me a discount so I think we’re trending upward  How is everyone? I love and cherish you 🫂 #TITT #AsACrew #OFMD

FOR THE CREW!!! #SaveOFMD #RenewOFMD #OurFlagMeansDeath #ForRhysie 🥹

So what I’m hearing is that this has actually been a fuckery of the highest degree and it’s been the plan all along to have a 5 year gap?