I haven’t been online much lately, as I’ve been quite stuck in a specific area of life that requires constant adjustment and monitoring/distance. I’m currently working with an occupational therapist, though I find myself questioning their ability to

Happy 66th, Mum! Or should I say, your 12th annual attempt at convincing the world you're only 12 at heart... As always, I’ve come through with the usual suspects: flowers, a dash of creativity, and never the kind of cake that needs a forklift ,instead, a perfectly-sized masterpiece. I love you!

@doodlechronicle.bsky.social not really online atmo; but I wanted to wish you all the best for your surgery… thinking of you and hope everything will be okay! Xx

Thinking of my dear friend, who has been placed in an induced coma due to complications from prostate removal that led to bleeding. Sending many thoughts and prayers for his recovery and that he wakes up soon.

((I know Im not the only one)) , This weather is really testing my patience , it's like an endless wave of heat. I check the weather app, and it initially predicts rain, but when I check again, the temperatures have risen, and there's no sign of rain. It's so frustrating!

i would argue it's not paranoia if someone is legitimately literally spying on you

Accurate expression of one’s inner dread rn? 🫠

When the weather makes you question if you’re melting or just emotionally evaporating.

We often overlook the fact that those experiencing homelessness endure extreme heat just as much as anyone else. Far too often, I hear people remark, “Well, at least it’s not raining , must be ideal weather for them.” Excuse me?

I tell them “parents” the things that make ordinary days feel like obstacle courses , the tasks that scrape my edges, the places where my brain and the world refuse to align. I say the word neurodivergent because it isn’t a flourish or a fashion ,

Literally spiralling and spiralling , do me in please

Huge itchy rash on my back which is doing my nut in and this heat isn’t helping at all, arranged occupational for telephone apt to overstimulated. “I hate this weather”

Thank You for Contacting My Body. We Are Experiencing Higher Than Normal Levels of Inflammation.

Getting frustrated and overwhelmed firstly due to this weather being overstimulated then having to find something to wear for seeing occupational tomorrow and then seeing psychiatrist… I literally can only handle one thing within a week not two appointments esp in this heat.

That line “Your payments will stop” , doesn’t inform, it terrifies. In an email from the DWP it lands like a blunt instrument, shattering calm and dignity in one cold sentence.

I swear this cat was a dog in previous life.

Happy cat - grooming cat

Before you condemn how someone copes with their insecurities, learn their story. Coping is a form of survival , meet the person behind the behavior before you hand out judgment on how they cope or how they hide.

Guess what landed on my doorstep today? The Jibz Cameron memoir , because my book collection clearly wasn't chaotic enough. Oh, and chocolate cake made an appearance too, because what's life without CAKE!!!

These are ADDICTIVE!!!!

Why is kindness such a matter of “eek” these days, saying to someone “have a nice day” or doing something nice for a stranger carries a anxious and v scary feeling for most “even myself at times” , its sad that we can’t say something nice without it

When you accidentally make eye contact with someone across the room and now you're both stuck in the ‘Do we smile or pretend it didn’t happen?’ saga

Some clinicians are skipping treatment for people with BPD and hiding behind a cowardly line: “If you give them help, they’ll only want more.” Translation: we’ll deny care rather than meet need. That’s not prudence , it’s abandonment.

((BPD)) - Why do we have a “Bad Person Disorder”? Because it’s convenient. Label a survival strategy “inherent badness,” slap a diagnosis on trauma’s mess, and suddenly you’ve got a tidy enemy to punish.

They hear your wounds and stamp them BPD instead of CPTSD. A single shrug, “I disagree” , erases years you survived. You name your trauma and they call it drama. “You’re emotionally unstable,” they declare, as if your tremors aren’t the echo of being broken open.

Existing in this world really is to painful

My theory: 'personality' disorders are a useless construct, if 78% of people across different 'clusters' can become un-disordered within 12 months following a brief, trauma led treatment, you gotta ask, were their personalities ever disordered?

They will label you because labels make the world feel ordered. “BPD” is tidy ,it fits the shape they expect , young, female, explainable. But somewhere in that neatness a truth is lost. You are not a checklist. You are not the tidy answer a chart provides.

Live from the personality disorders conference: we treated this group of absolute freaks and degenerates like trauma survivors and were shocked to find that made a huge difference

Years of antipsychotics haven’t so much changed me as they’ve dressed me , slow, bureaucratic costume changes arriving in pill bottles. Weight didn’t so much appear as accumulate, an indifferent, clinical layering that makes doorways narrower and mornings longer.

Feel so disoriented by each passing morning , in which one awakes to find that another day is present. Eurghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I see a whole world outside these windows, but I'm just a one-human kind of kitty, so I'm staying put right here with them.

Back to a fucking nap , because thats all I consist of.

They pin the word unstable to you like a specimen tag and call the job done. Labels fold you flat, neat enough to stack. Stigma is arithmetic , reduce a life to a hazard, subtract nuance until it fits the margin. Hope becomes a prescribed item ,

I Can’t love these any more than I already do!

Please let everything be okay with dad’s heart and not nothing serious again since his heart surgery. “Fuck”

How do you carry on when you don’t wanna carry on but have to keep carrying on.

How do you feel? , Fuck knows the communication to my self right now is aloof

My darling Tinka, I miss you with a hush that fills the rooms you once loved. No sentence can hold the weight of this grief , it comes in small, relentless tides and in the hollow of ordinary days.

Mum is having significant difficulty with personal care, including washing, getting up and down, and getting into the bath. Today, I helped her wash, which was physically challenging.

How is everyone really doing? , hey chum! Sending you all my love and support , Love Always , Owlet x

They tell you BPD is permanent like a weather system, then lift DBT up like a saint’s relic , as if someone with the diagnosis didn’t simply turn their survival into a syllabus and a profit center.

Diagnose you with “BPD at thirteen” told there is no cure , than told “therapy would be helpful” alongside being told “therapy isn’t an option/a contradiction with harm. A literal “death trap”.

Two glass-shaped pals just trying to roll through this wildly intricate and perpetually misunderstood existence.

EURGH ((RANT)) CMHT…. How do you expect me to answer, “So how can we help you?” when my head is a thunderdome? That question isn’t a real question , it’s a trap.

My brother has gone abroad and it’s his first time going and experiencing such an adventure and Im so proud of him , he’s gone to turkey. I love seeing him live life and experiencing every moment with his partner. His mum would be ever so proud.

Don’t quit know how to be back on social media to be honest, it was nice being away from it. Trying to work out my mindset and where I carry myself in this matrix world. Keeping up the fight to not end one’s life is still actively seeking its limits. Add pointless purchases!

Cast adrift beyond the pale of notice, I search the small recognitions for a name that fits, a life people call worth living, as if utterance makes it so. There is no steady compass in me , only a polite, exhausted shrug.

RTMS is no longer an option, as my psychiatrist believes it wasn’t effective for my MDD. She suggests that occupational therapy might be more beneficial, but the waiting time for that is incredibly long. In the meantime, I’m still using the Flow headset,

Trigger Warning: It deeply frustrates and hurts me how some mental health professionals have developed a narrative over the years that self-harm is only significant if it is severe or dramatic. They often dismiss minimal self-harm as unimportant, which is absolutely vile.