Mouse just scurried out of the wall, I said, “not right now, please,” and he scurried back into the wall. I appreciate it!

$4.25 at my first library job [nostalgic sigh]

If I read the phrase “worldwide pandemic” one more time, I’m going to walk out of my tiny cubicle room, go to the ATM machine, and hit up a TCBY yogurt shop

It has to happen at some point

Thinking about emailing me?

Are you fucking serious right now???

as much as i despise AI, i have to admit that it has made it possible for anyone, no longer just the very wealthy, to be a big adult baby who doesn't know how to interact with normal people and throws a fit whenever they don't get their way

J: Why do you always check photos? You’re paranoid! Me, waiting for him to realize that I’ve got closed eyes in the one photo he took and didn’t check

Got my windshield fixed rather than replaced, which irritated my father to no end. My dad: If you decide you don’t like that, I’ve got a solution [laughs maniacally] Me: Does it involve you throwing a rock at it? My dad, irritated: NO!!! [whispers] I’d hit it with a hammer!

Those of us who remember the late seventies can tell you that it’s always a good sign when they start writing the numbers on the gas pump by hand.

For @bostonglobe.com, I wrote about the rise of "social prescriptions" to the outdoors, and a very cool new program in Malden, Mass. in which health care providers connect patients with free local outdoor activities like adaptive hiking and birding. www.bostonglobe.com/2026/04/24/o...

The next person to needlessly correct the word Comprise in my work is going to have a mouth comprising no teeth.

Dreamed I was going to get fired from my part-time job shelving library books because I wasn’t showing up to work and managed to work myself into an existential crisis while asleep. Very normal and healthy!

“I wasn’t there for it, but I was all for it” - Jamie, whom I love, during today’s Jeopardy! chat

My 12 year old nephew: Do you remember that LEGO monster I made that had the pronounced butt? Me, admiringly: Yeah, that guy had cheeks. My nephew, chuckling; He sure did!

Burchett is right: the most DC thing ever *is* a member of Congress blaming the city for something he and his colleagues did themselves.

Just watching marathon videos and crying - TRIUMPH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT- what are you up to

Maine

Maine

Jeopardy! clue: [gives away the ending to Moby Dick] Me: UM, SPOILERS!!!

You said it, buddy!!!

To the person who set the hotel room alarm for 5:45 a.m.: thanks, buddy!!!🖕🏻🖕🏻

One thing I hate about being in Maine right now is there are a lot of Grah*m Platn*r ads

Traveling in my 20’s: Look, I’m not sure how we ended up back at the taxi hub offices*, but they have an air hockey table and I am kicking everyone’s ass Traveling in my 50’s: [packs sturdy shoes and a heating pad] Life! You are ridiculous and I love you! *Charleston, South Carolina

I see what you have done for others

Staying in a hotel room that is considerably bigger than both of the one bedroom apartments I lived in

Just drove by a strip club with this billboard out front “Ironically, we sell clothes”

Me, in a Matt Berry voice while staring at the sky: FUCK YOOOUUU

I wish I loved anything as much as social media loves telling me I should take glp-1 drugs

Raise your hand if you woke up in cold sweat at 1 in the morning, panicked that you’d left a window open at work (which, trust me, would be very bad) so you drove there on the weekend because you knew you wouldn’t have peace until you knew (I’m raising my hand. And obviously it was shut)

Friend who is supervising a trip with 16 teenagers just texted me “the next time I tell you I’m going to do this, remind me how many people lost their passports on this trip.”

Do I remember my Google password? No. Do I remember that last name of a friend of the person my friend had a crush on in 1992? Yes, of course! Bonus 1992 memory: my first college roommate introduced herself by one name, but then said, “Everybody calls me Red.” No one ever called her that.

Just said Eric Clapton when I meant Eric Cartman

My cousin just sent me one of my favorite texts: someone I can’t stand is resigning!!!

Look at this gem!

Where I get it

Construction workers directly outside my window screaming about “the days when my kids were still in my balls” Thanks, guys!

Can’t remember the book, but hard agree!

Super Freak came on the radio earlier and this happened Me: The kinda girl you read about/ in Newsweek magazine 🎵🎶 J: YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BELIEVE HE IS SINGING ABOUT NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE

Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty

Sang it again during Jeopardy! tonight!

I can hear the mice in the walls; I hope they bite through wires and the building burns down (Kidding)

My only quibble: how dare you say “global pandemic”

My favorite quip about visiting the Rock n Roll HoF in Cleveland

Moderator in 2026 telling people on Zoom to mute themselves AYFKMWTS

“It is like the goddamned Dust Bowl up in this bitch” - someone remarking on the gross dust that comes in through our windows from the construction outside

This week is an absolute shitshow but I think a group of us got someone the help they need so ❤️

@realfollowers.bsky.social please

Having a normal one

Me, groggily as I shut my alarm off: Well, at least it’s Wednesday J, consolingly: … uh, it’s Tuesday