The worst part about being lonely is that the news of your cousin you barely speak to hard launching her boyfriend feels like an earth shattering announcement

Fnaf decoders are allergic to the big picture it gets funnier each new game that comes out. I just cried when within 4 minutes of this video this guy was CONVINCED that two differently named boys sitting beneath a tree in their respective outros means they’re the same boy

Bought a nice bra for the first time and now I feel like a real woman.

Sometimes I want to cry and sometimes I want to swing wildly

The top gun fujoshis love me I am welcomed into the herd

My mom loves 80’s goth music, and I told her I would love to take her out to like an event and she was adamant that she not dull her sparkle to go there and it turned into a whole lecture. But I show up to golf with her and suddenly I’m an embarrassment for bot wearing collared shirt

Coworker says everything with this stock image’s pose and level of enthusiasm. I don’t know how to have a toned down interaction with him, anything I say he tries to amp it back up to 11 and I am having the hardest time.

I need an open concept laundry situation. I have dirty clothes in basket and clean clothes in drawers but we need to revolutionize “the chair” like it needs a new form. It’s not a chair because the chair itself is important, it’s a chair because that’s what’s there to put medium dirty clothes

I want to google the price for a plastic surgery thing without my phone knowing my deepest insecurity. It’s no longer an impersonal device. It not only knows how I feel about myself but is looking for me to craft advertisements around

A year ago

Had a lot on my mind

Val Kilmer doc holiday posting as always

Mega Val Kilmer Stan account now

My mom ground me into a stump

Just got my own work email, it’s like getting my own dedicated lounge chair on the titanic

Forgot to brag about my Val Kilmer locket

When u can tell an ugly cry comin so u take out ur septum

Okay guys just learned that the blue man group guys are ALSO hot when they’re not blue. Vital intel

Furloughs hit work and our staff of like 15 turned into a staff of 3 I won’t even lie

Boyfriend is back in three + day chrysalis. Miss him

Rest in peace Mr Kilmer

When forced to remember any given single digit number it’s always by keeping in mind how far it is from the number 4. Unless it’s 7 then I remember that 7 is 4s older brother

Nobody else bring unopened can of cream of mushroom to the function please i called it

Boyfriend pets me so good it’s like a slime tutorial

Matching profile pics for u n ur boo

If I had a more money and confidence I would get really into hostorical reenactments and garmentry, but the purgatory middle ground is being absoloutley facinated by boys on TikTok who dress like it’s the fifties, talk like a cartoon old person and do absoloutley nothing else.

🎤

My mom and I never really genuinely connected and the consequences are I cry when I see cool girl’s Instagram stories with their friends every time

Just spent all last night watching TikToks about a popular true crime event that happened recently and i think it poisoned my brain and I need to address social media addiction in some new way when I get home

Hashtag yum alert

Just had a near bloodline ending chafing event happen to me

Okay guys who’s bedside water tasted better ur mom or dad’s

Hashtag me

Old drawings from when I was good at drawing on tablet

Crying

blue sky is supreme because every time you post you get 100 school principals in the replies asking to see you in their office

Would it be wise to block an Instagram client who’s liking all these videos from a fetish account where a woman pretends she’s letting her clients into her home while she’s sleeping

vacation with family getting photos taken of me and wearing clothes I haven’t worn since last summer and suggesting activities and music nobody likes. I’m ngl this is the lowest my self esteem ever been in the history of ever. I’m trying to fit in but it’s going horribly with my own goddamn family

“Don’t miss the florist for the trees” just a little flower arranging humor to britghten your day today. Smile.

This the lord of the rings to me

Crying laughing Mr clean by young gravy sucks so bad I’ve never listened to it before. My sister requested it and it turned the roadtrip with siblings to the sad guilt of a funeral

Excuse me but what the hell is his fit

Uh huh yeah

Snapchat loves to send me three “time sensitive” notifications within the hour for a post that is literally this.

He’s so cute

I really love my cat but he does eat foam

Oldr generations being like “we had a ww3/global warming/nuclear fallout panic when we were your age don’t fuckin worry about it is like someone saying to u “oh I had a pregnancy scare when I was ur age and it turns out I wasn’t, so ur gonna be fine”

Just got back from the Walmart with only adult men and five police cars with lights on patrolling the parking lot. I forgot what I went ther for

Instagram pushing posts liked and followed by ur friends so now I’m like intimately aware of what fashion style of big breasted woman my childhood friends are into