What a treat to have @dannymlavery.bsky.social write something for Body Type this week, about working among senior citizens without moving too nimbly, blacking out from nerves while teaching group exercise, and taking “Don’t get old” just seriously enough:

Exciting is right. Marcia Gay Harden IS Barbara…

going on book tour for Meeting New People next week. will have a free copy for the person who has been most recently dumped by a friend www.thechatner.com/p/free-copie...

"I am haunted by my friendship breakups. I actually dream about my friend-exes all the time." www.thechatner.com/p/i-wrote-a-...

"I am haunted by my friendship breakups. I actually dream about my friend-exes all the time." www.thechatner.com/p/i-wrote-a-...

"You are made to feel small by the bull of everything you are not. Misogyny is the ultimate hotwife." @helmetgirl.bsky.social!! www.thechatner.com/p/a-chat-wit...

had a delightful chat with @helmetgirl.bsky.social: "This sort of thing presupposes that those straight boys would all have been skillful and attentive lovers had they only had the good fortune to be born 50 years ago, to which I can only ask for a citation." www.thechatner.com/p/a-chat-wit...

had a delightful chat with @helmetgirl.bsky.social: "This sort of thing presupposes that those straight boys would all have been skillful and attentive lovers had they only had the good fortune to be born 50 years ago, to which I can only ask for a citation." www.thechatner.com/p/a-chat-wit...

I'm going to be at Powell's in Portland on 6/2 for the Meeting New People book launch. come say hello! www.powells.com/events/danie...

"Type IV fun: Neither fun while happening nor in recollection, often involving tremendous suffering and great risk, but might later bring joy to many if a documentary is made on the subject; if, for example, you died in a preventable accident while cave diving." www.thechatner.com/p/types-of-fun

Barbara Foerster is here. she’s off the casserole list, she’s mad as hell, and she has no choice but to continue taking it for the foreseeable future

Barbara Foerster is here. she’s off the casserole list, she’s mad as hell, and she has no choice but to continue taking it for the foreseeable future

“If your kid would like to shove my kid,” I said, just a little grandly, “he is perfectly welcome to do so. I myself was shoved frequently as a child, and gave just as good as I got, too. A little shoving is beneficial, I think, in childhood.”

“This shirt is an UNTUCKit,” my bystander began to scream. “This shirt cannot be tucked. It’s designed to be worn untucked.” www.thechatner.com/p/soft-play

"Any friendship that comes together over a mutual dislike of a third person is the best kind. Don’t let anybody tell you different." www.thechatner.com/p/any-friend...

“Once a man told me while we were having sex that he hadn’t gotten off all day, because he wanted to save it for me. My first reaction to this was ‘And he works from home, so that really counts for something.’” open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

"One thinks of a chaser as having the placid, unconcerned certainty of Pepe Le Pew, bounding ceaselessly and unidirectionally after someone else’s transsexuality." www.thechatner.com/p/i-dont-kno...

it's remarkable, how much milk these two guys manage to put away in the course of a single night in "Mikey and Nicky." and the heads of hair on them, my God www.thechatner.com/p/some-thoug...

“I've ended friendships with women for switching to natural deodorant; for forgetting to eat lunch and getting too hungry to make a prompt decision about where to get dinner; for taking me to a local production of The Nutcracker out on Long Island and saying afterwards, ‘Wasn't that terrific?’”

My own mother had a very strained relationship with her mother. In retaliation, I had a conspicuously easy and cheerful relationship with my mother’s mother. See how easy this woman is to get along with? Why don’t you do it like this?

Once, when I was straining to replace the big wall calendar by the elevator bank: “Look at him, with his long arms!” Once, carrying two grocery bags from the car into the lobby (each bag containing only a single grocery): “So strong!” www.thechatner.com/p/people-wil...

been rewatching Mikey and Nicky and the thing that's so good is you start out thinking Peter Falk is going to "be the reasonable one" and then 15 minutes in he’s strangling a diner owner for refusing to sell him half-and-half bc Cassavettes medically needs to drink cream

if you pre-order my next book, Meeting New People, from Barnes & Noble this week you can do so at a 25% discount. If you don't, nothing about your life will change, so you're pretty set either way www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meeting-ne...

if you pre-order my next book, Meeting New People, from Barnes & Noble this week you can do so at a 25% discount. If you don't, nothing about your life will change, so you're pretty set either way www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meeting-ne...

wrote about Marty (1955, not Supreme) and Ernest Borgnine's astonishing face. He was born to play the Spirit of Christmas Present. He looks like if Edward G. Robinson had been filled with joie de vivre. www.thechatner.com/p/on-marty-e...

wrote about Marty (1955, not Supreme) and Ernest Borgnine's astonishing face. He was born to play the Spirit of Christmas Present. He looks like if Edward G. Robinson had been filled with joie de vivre. www.thechatner.com/p/on-marty-e...

in 2008 or 09 I got married after an evening of escalating dares to a friend of a friend, just like my hero at the time, GOB from Arrested Development

second part of my chat with Ella Baker about our time at Christian college together! we covered my secret joke wedding in 2009 and coming out to your family on Father's Day vs. Thanksgiving: www.thechatner.com/p/being-tran...

"So I arrived already ashamed of myself and full of anger and contempt for everyone else. And I couldn’t even longboard."

had a lovely long chat with Ella Baker, one of the handful of people I went to evangelical Christian college with in LA back in 2005 who also later transitioned www.thechatner.com/p/trans-at-t...

between Walter Matthau’s face and Walter Matthau’s hair there is a gap of staggering antiquity….

Elaine May’s A New Leaf is a perfect movie about getting erectile dysfunction about killing your wife: open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

“the broccoli of lesbianism versus the bread pudding of fake faggotry” open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

the cuck chair, the goon cave, the fujoshi futon; the most comfortable seat for spoiled desire!

"Gooning and fujoing out are both about losing yourself in an obsession with something you can’t have. The porn stars, the beautiful gay guys. And it’s not a drawback that they can’t have it. It’s the point." open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

if I could give my younger self any advice it would be to take my time starting to save for retirement. everyone tells you to start early. that's a lot of pressure. wait until you're ready

For all Cassius’ reputation for being a conniving, subtle, behind-the-scenes manipulator, his number-one go-to strategy for trying to get people on side is to mention how willing he is to die right now www.thechatner.com/p/cassius-on...

Outside of screening for behavior I consider appropriate, my attitude toward chasers is like the one Francis Walsingham attributed to Elizabeth I on religion: “Her Majesty [does not like to] make Windows into Mens hearts and secret thoughts.” www.thechatner.com/p/on-sleepin...

Advice for Everyone Do your best not to lie, within reason. When you are caught in a lie, admit to it instantly, and if possible, cheerfully. In this way you will still be able to maintain a reputation for honesty open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

the Sad Butler Movie Index is up open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.” open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

“My desire for friendship is not exclusive, but it is often possessive.” open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

“Have you still got those green pills I gave you?” “We mustn't worry him with technical talk. The worst thing for this sort of case is discussion.” “There’s nothing wrong with you. If you need a prescription, I’ll go so far as to say you ought to be married.” www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...

you would not believe how often the titular butch in lesbian pulp classic "Beebo Brinker" drinks a glass of milk defiantly at someone www.thechatner.com/p/everything...

"To hear someone call out “On your left” with no hope of friendly eye contact, to have to leap out of the way lest they jangle their hateful little bell at you — without those little courtesies, I become an animal. I would happily kill and kill again." www.thechatner.com/p/they-got-m...

A green dog over a tree. A yellow dog under a tree. John 1:48: “Jesus answered and said to him, ‘Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you.” www.thechatner.com/p/a-biblical...

[offended] From time to time I may be at his beck. But I certainly am not at his call

nonfiction titles today: First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To) Pasta Fabulous 1927: The Year Before 1928 What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...

nonfiction titles today: First Things: Why The Morning Ends (And Why It Doesn’t Have To) Pasta Fabulous 1927: The Year Before 1928 What Costco Can Teach Us About China, and What China Can Teach Us About Strategy www.thechatner.com/p/what-every...