tonight at 6pm at the Pegasus Books on Shattuck in Berkeley is the one and only reading I’m doing for the second Women’s Hotel book. come by!

so excited to be in convo with my brother Danny!!

"Five days a week, should I particularly wish it, I might eat a hot lunch with gravy at no cost to myself, and without lifting a finger to prepare it." www.thechatner.com/p/fielding-q...

I'm only doing one stop on the book tour for Christmas at the Women's Hotel -- this Monday at Pegasus Books in Berkeley with @soleilho.com. Don't miss it! pegasusbookstore.com/event/2025-1...

rescuing gooners from themselves: dazed, blue-eyed, limpid, wearing hospital gowns, ready for rehab

It’s also very funny to sentimentalize forest porn caches as like, “Oh, you really had to work for your nut then, porn had to be earned by hard work and honest sweat.”

"If you believe these guys are avatars of sexual ruination/failed masculinity, you’re buying into the thing they’re getting off on. Lots of trans people get off to similar ideas. Cis men just don’t have the escape hatch of calling it a coping mechanism for trauma" www.thechatner.com/p/but-pornos...

my third novel is about a relentless string of friendship bust-ups. MEETING NEW PEOPLE comes out summer 2026

when is too soon to ask to join the sacred band of thebes in a new relationship open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

in Calvinism it’s “buy me Bonestorm and go to Hell”

Cupid and Psyche, part IV: “Chores for wives, house arrest for husbands, was the order of the day.” open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

an excerpt from Christmas at the Women’s Hotel, out next week: open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

getting a lot of questions about just how big the big bus I'm driving for work is. happy to answer them here: www.thechatner.com/p/fielding-q...

getting a lot of questions about just how big the big bus I'm driving for work is. happy to answer them here: www.thechatner.com/p/fielding-q...

"I am going to write a husband no one but myself will much like" -- Jane Austen writing Edmund Bertram, probably

Mansfield Park ends with both Edmund and Mary Crawford in an odd relationship with time after he accidentally puts a curse on them both in chapter twelve (I have proof of this).

huge unexpected split on Jan Brett's 'The Mitten': "I think Nikki is a liar and Grandma knows exactly what happened." www.thechatner.com/p/three-pare...

I just got tickets to tour my local wastewater facility if you even care

@coyotemedia.org is alive!! Please take a moment to check us out, sign up for our newsletter and subscribe if you can. ❤️❤️❤️ www.coyotemedia.org

my first piece for @coyotemedia.org is a guide to becoming flakier www.coyotemedia.org/how-to-flake...

❤️🔥 HOT OFF THE PRESSES! 🔥❤️ COYOTE Media Collective is live!! We’re so incredibly proud of this smart, fierce, unapologetic Bay Area media project. Dive in, see what we’ve been building, read our stories, and join the pack! coyotemedia.org

"I tend to get antsy about anything that feels like it’s trying too hard to impart a childhlike sense of wonder to the child. Because they’ve already got that childlike sense of wonder!" www.thechatner.com/p/three-pare...

“If Pauline was still wearing brown, as she had been this morning, then Lucianne had better wear something blue, to heighten the charm of the difference between them. Luckily it would not matter what Katherine was wearing.” Women’s Hotel is out in paperback now, sequel is out next month!

it’s your first day as a medieval chef! time to start rubbing costly spices into rotten meat for some reason: open.substack.com/pub/dmlavery...

comprehensive list of everything Henry James refers to as "vulgar" in his personal correspondence www.thechatner.com/p/everything...

There are no grounds for [a morning shower]. It is perverse to be wet in the morning; it is only logical that the hours before noon ought to be the driest of the day.

Little Grandma Darling is as tiny as can be as small as she is little — as little as she’s wee — take the smallest thing you’ve got, then divide that thing by three; little grandma darling is the size of nobody

"going to need to build up trust in my cartoon before i decide whether it's bad to bomb children every night" jesus christ

in the seven or eighth installment of "A Good Day to Join the Hittite Army" we finally meet the Hittites www.thechatner.com/p/a-good-day...

Aphrodite is almost always angry, and almost always taking a bath. When she is angry enough to get out of the bathtub, that's when it is time to worry Cupid and Psyche, part III substack.com/home/post/p-...

In case you missed it: there will be a Betsy-Tacy Convention in October, and you’re going to want to be here (in Mankato)! The planners just announced two of their speakers: @dannymlavery.bsky.social and Mitali Perkins! Get your tickets today 👇 betsy-tacy-convention.square.site #betsytacytuesday

In which I share my books' sales and kind words of wisdom from @dannymlavery.bsky.social, @rumaan.bsky.social @mysoncool.bsky.social, @mattielubchansky.com, @jayasaxena.com, @islemcelroy.bsky.social, and @lydiakiesling.bsky.social meantforyou.beehiiv.com/p/the-mortif...

"Offer your baby a sticker for every hour he successfully makes it without brushing his teeth. Or, if he prefers it to stickers, a nice piece of candy." how to brush your baby's teeth www.thechatner.com/p/how-to-bru...

I think the hardest adjustment for an ancient time traveler must be that nobody wants to hear about your dreams anymore: www.thechatner.com/p/the-hardes...

“I’m flattered, Pilot, but I’m a married man.”

Indicators you are likely to be hit with a pie in a pie fight: Proximity to a double-swinging saloon door, recently said "you wouldn't DARE" to a long-suffering lackey, you are a dowager, proximity to a ribbon-cutting or ship-christening ceremony, etc: www.thechatner.com/p/signs-your...

flow chart guide for figuring out if you’re in a flow chart

is it possible to write a conservative parody of a popular children's book without losing touch with complexity, silliness? (or is query naive) -- Hemingway's "Faithful Bull" parody might have done www.thechatner.com/p/ernest-hem...

when I was a child I did not watch wrestling or Xena: Warrior Princess but I caught promos for both reasonably often and had the general sense that Chyna the wrestler and Xena the princess were the same very busy woman

30 Rock asks the important question "What if Carrie and Big were really good work friends, instead of lovers?" and satisfyingly relocates Big/Jack's withholding to the world of business (he never REALLY gives Liz the mentorship he offers Floyd, for example)

I thought I'd track everything that Liz Lemon and Carrie Bradshaw have in common financially (keeping clothes in their oven, relying heavily on their checking accounts, buying their own apartments in season four) and I got pretty far with it! www.thechatner.com/p/everything...

I wrote about California, ICE, and the criminalization of immigrants and dissent.

do I know anyone in Portland who would enjoy doing a book event with me at Powell's in late October when the Women's Hotel sequel comes out? show yourself if so

Women’s Hotel, Christmas at the Women’s Hotel, and their six mothers and fathers

MONK #2: I’ve decided the problem lies in trying to understand it and as long as whatever we illustrate matches what the instructions say, that’s all that matters to me MONK #1: Gold head, big sword, disarticulated fellow, gondola, three-story temple? MONK #2: That’s what I’ve got here

MONK #1: …Are you quite sure we’ve got the four humors right? MONK #2: I’m not at all sure, I’m afraid MONK #1: What if it’s red, black, putrefaction, spirit? MONK #2: Unless it’s gold, air, Jupiter, and the Moon — www.thechatner.com/p/the-two-mo...

heyy look at us go

“A Sunday spent in bed had to be managed with a firm hand…An impromptu Sunday in bed, wearing haphazard and mismatched bedclothes, with hair unwashed and crumbs in the pillowcase, with the crossword spoiled and no plans settled for the evening, was little better than a torment.”

"Christmas at the Women's Hotel" galleys are here, email me if you want one www.thechatner.com/p/winter-in-...

I appreciate the sentiment but Jo's husband Professor Bhaer is pretty close to Charles Bukowski, as much as Bukowski can be said to exist in the Little Women universe