This post is brought to you by me constantly changing projects when people leave because I’m a fuckin idiot.

“Reviewing an album every day is hard,” he said while also infodumping paragraphs about Defenders of The Faith in his head without even trying

My lyricism these days has become a mix of existential crises, fascism is gonna kill us all, and how much kink esotericism can I sneak in here?

Happy Elder, Monolord, and All Them Witches day to all who celebrate!

To take the ashen mark upon one's head To enter into sacred rites To read aloud the secrets left unsaid Is to know Sophia's light open.spotify.com/track/79UmAm...

If Jon Schaffer gets any of that slush fund money, does that make him an industry plant?

my gf works corporate and is on a training about AI and there's a word cloud for "what do you use AI for." the largest word by far is "Nothing" and the trainer is PISSED

Patriotic White Zombie be like “these are the times that try men’s souls… wanna try me? 😉”

If there was a noise rock musician who really didn’t want to swear, do you think they’d refer to their music as pigfudge or pigfrick?

Anybody ever do a gothic doom cover of My Friend Of Misery before? Anybody wanna?

Just trying to tie people up and record a whole bunch of stoner doom amidst the collapse of an empire.

Dio is a father figure, Rob Halford is daddy

Stoner doom Jedi: I am one with the fuzz and the fuzz is with me

The new Animal Farm movie is but another instance where I wonder if I really was supposed to be an English teacher all this time or if I ultimately dodged a bullet.

Marathoning some Spooky Tooth this morning and I keep wanting to call them Spoopy Tooth. My brain might have fully melted.

At this point, stoner doom criticism feels more generic and hollow than the actual stoner doom it’s criticizing

Men will keep their heavy metal band going for thirty years longer than necessary before going to therapy.

Eleven years ago today! Recommended if you like Danzig singing over Saint Vitus riffs. spiritdivision.bandcamp.com/album/spirit...

Gonna go ahead and call it: Maul is already among the peak animated Star Wars. I’m letting myself have this.

People complain about the arts being oversaturated, but that just means they can’t take us all out. There are more of us.

You’re trying to catch a Pokémon, what button are you pressing or holding on your Game Boy while the PokeBall shakes? For me it was always holding down the B button.

As someone who can find it difficult to speak kindly to myself, there’s something oddly healing about listening to riffs I recorded over a decade ago and still being like “hell yeah, little dude.”

The one reason I have to care that Iron Maiden is getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is that they didn’t snub Blaze Bayley and I get to be happy for him. #blazebayleydidnothingwrong

the joe rogan experience...

The X Factor is secretly Iron Maiden’s attempt at making an epic doom metal album. In this essay I will

“He’s thinking about Ancient Rome again” I wish Spartacus had succeeded.

I dreamed I was playing Donkey Kong Country 3 with somebody in co-op. Go figure I had to be Kiddy Kong.

Just remembered that Doug episode where he tries starting a band and all his friends want to join. Thinking about how the nerdy twins both say they play lead guitar and I can only conclude that later on they ended up being in a bunch of mathcore and djent projects

You can only trust yourself and the first six Morbid Angel albums

When Jesus said it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, even this seems like it might be further beyond the scope that he had in mind…

Talking beaver: The White Witch has cursed Narnia, it is always winter but never Christmas. Me: Whoa, you guys don’t have to worry about Christmas here? Sign me the fuck up.

We were talking about the Kurt Vonnegut museum. I made a “so it goes” joke. They didn’t get the reference. So it goes.

Only two more weeks until Christmas aka only two more weeks until I get my life back

I am so sick of people not knowing what the word “divisive” actually means, especially in the context of art.

“He’s thinking about the Roman Empire again” Did Ancient Romans have the equivalent of that guy in the office who always tries to talk to you about sports? Only instead of LeBron James, he’d be fixated on Maximus the Gladiator.

Ad-Rock: Because I could not Beastie Boys: STOP FOR DEATH Mike D: He kindly stopped for me MCA: The Carriage held but just ourselves and Beastie Boys: IMMORTALITY

Whitesnake is great because it’s like hey, here’s one of the low key greatest rock vocalists of all time but also he’s EXTREMELY horny

Me: mapping out lyrics and riff structures for the two albums I’m currently writing in meticulous detail Also me: writes a Wesley Willis parody song about current emails

I watched They Live last night but YouTube kept yelling “CONSUME” at me every fifteen minutes.

The Cure’s Seventeen Seconds is my favorite first wave black metal album. In this essay I will

If the Rod Evans bogus version of Deep Purple came out today, people would barely bat an eye if he marketed it the right way.

Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than the deaths of evil men

This is just to say I have looked on the works that were in the desert and which you were probably thinking would still stand Forgive me they were trunkless so vast and so old

Someday I’ll start a weird little guy sludge project called Cow Tools. Who wants in?

Can I pretend it’s a new release if the physical version didn’t come out until this year? Thanks to Sleeping Village Reviews for the gnarly writeup!

Helloween is the best band name because it has two different meanings depending on how you look at it: Helloween 😈😈😈 Hello, Ween! ☺️☺️☺️

Annihilator’s Plasma Zombies is the funniest exercise of Poe’s Law because depending on how you look at it, it’s either a boomer dad freaking out about his kid playing GTA or a pointed satire about a crazed Jack Thompson-type caricature. The mid-2000s were a vibe. open.spotify.com/track/75Vgcq...

Death/doom but it’s “what if Nile’s 4th Arra of Dagon and/or User Maat Re was a band”

Just a reminder that Kristi Noem shot her dog #kristinoem