Age 13, working the milk round Age 14, joined the ground staff at Wigan Rugby League as a summer job Age 16, glass collector in the local working men's club Age 18 p/t then full time, working for Scott's (sports and fashion) Age 19, joined the civil service - been there ever since.

This👇🏽

Just blocked a reply guy

They survived. Unfortunately.

I believe this A-I MS update takes about 40 minutes. It deserves a kick up the arse.

Dentist tomorrow

Day 2 of Mrs DoS's brandy induced hangover and she's decided she is “WFH” today.

Monday morning and I got my cook on again. Carrot and coriander soup with roasted peppers and lentils ✓ Lamb mince gravy slow cooking for 13½ hours for a cottage pie ✓ Potatoes steaming for mash ✓

Every League one and two manager on the sidelines giving instructions to their midfield

Finished the housework at 20:05 It would have been earlier but I spent three hours pottering about this morning. I only started the bathroom at about 10:00

Tomorrow's soup. Gonna start it in a bit by doing the roast veg bit. I can just bung it all in the slow cooker in the morning

Mr Fedora always enjoys clean bedding night

Speaking of which, Kelly Brook starts in IACGMEOH very soon.

We are in dangerous territory where minorities are denying the existence of racism and if you do react to being called a P or N it's seen as bowing to some kind of made up woke brigade. And this is why it's so infuriating to Sideshow Roberta or Badenoch. The woke aren't tangible. They don't exist.

I'm surprised the Saudi league doesn't have this. Anyone not pulling their weight gets a warning shot from the stand roof. The next one won't miss

Loads of women bought C&A knickers because the label reminded them of where to wear them and what they covered

I don't like B&B pudding but I can imagine this with slices of soreen in-between currant teacakes.

The feeders and the hawthorn is awash with these little guys and girls. Bloody tens of them feasting. I'm used to seeing great and blue tits but the coal tits are quite new for around here. There's lots of chaffinches as well. It's lovely.

The best thing about losing loads of weight, being fitter and more flexible is that I can stand and bend when cleaning the toilet. I haven't been on all fours scrubbing the pan for months now.

The toilet ain't fully flushing which tells me this overflow drain in the yard is blocked or full due to the last couple of storms we've had. Fucking bollocks. Need caustic soda and buckets of boiling water.

BBC sports exec meeting. - research shows our average app & website reader is male, white, aged between 49 & 67. We need younger viewers, what's the plan? - we get a load of Zenials who are nostalgic for 2005 to 2016 to write for us. They intersperse every paragraph with ”cheat code” and ”baller” 👍🏽

The closest Zara has come to sweating in her pit is using her Ann Summers wand every Sunday morning.

There's a face designed for foot cramp

Broth season is back on!

Genuinely some of the best cooking I've ever done. So tasty.

Knobhead. We are in for a mad hour. He's been asleep for nearly 24.

I saw a young Kirsty Allie lookalike at The Range this morning. Not the Kirsti Allie sponsored by Slimfast/Weight Watchers/Slimming World/Sci*ntology

OK. All done. Pedants? I'm not interested, this is MY Doctors. If you are interested in an A2 print I've decided to knock the price down so that it's £60 plus postage (assuming I get enough interest to make it worth my while) Let me know here or in DMs if you are interested. Probably print 10.

I've put the heating back on to early start. For shame.

Just made this. I’m a widely respected intellectual, you know

*let them fight gif* Although on Facebook he has asked people not to pile on or if they reply then do so politely. Obviously got a guilty conscience. #Pete #NeverForgive #NeverForget

BBC News - Cardi B welcomes fourth child, her first with boyfriend Stefon Diggs www.bbc.com/news/article... Seeing as she's in the news, I must. The existence of Cardi B surely proves the existence of Sweatshirt A and Tanktop C.

Ten things to get to know me. 1. Cooking 2. Cats 3. Exercise 4. Health 5. Wellbeing 6. The comedies of Seth MacFarlane 7. Still Game 8. Tea 9. Cleaning 10. Prestatyn 11. Rugby league 12. Being terrible at maths

Having opened the show with it this morning and given it some thought, I know we’re supposed to dislike Kevin in My Perfect Cousin. But he likes The Human League and University Challenge and proper Subbuteo technique. Apart from the ‘sheepie’, you’d definitely want to hang out with him

A raised cat feeding station in progress. Gorilla glue currently setting under the duress of 48kg. I've got two feeding mats to cut into shape to cover it.

Genius

How close are we to a government (any colour) writing in big 20m letters on the white cliffs of Dover “turn back, we are full”?

Oh the humanity!

The ‘son-in-law's’ birthday card for Tuesday. I've surpassed myself this time.

Storm damage latest. Backyard chair blown over. Keter shed doors, ripped off. Further updates to follow.

BBC News - MP quits Corbyn's new left-wing party amid infighting www.bbc.com/news/article... Heart of stone etc etc etc

I've had lentil soup for two days. There's nothing moderate about it 🍑💨💨

22.17 for the evening. 88.31km/54.87miles for the week. Only another 9.5 marathons over 5½-6 weeks to go. 🛶🚲💪🏼🏋🏼‍♂️

As you know, I'm a bitter, sweary, cynical old man but I'm actually blown away by this. Once #SaraCox crossed her finishing line she'd raised over seven and a half mil for #BBCChildrenInNeed Her achievement of 135 miles in five days is monumental BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/a... Give Now!

St Helens sign forward Shorrocks - www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-... I see Eamon McManus is tying Rowley's hands in regards to his squad building. Yet another Wigan cast off.

BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/live/cy7exkn... Live Updates - Follow Sara Cox's Great Northern Marathon Challenge for Radio 2 in aid of Children in Need - BBC Six million of the king's shiny nuggets. Stuff like this brings out the best in us Brits. Well done #saracox Now somebody sends her a Carr's pasty

The thing is, idiot MAGAs will now go out and rape pubescents because they'll see all this as a green light. The only difference being they'll get life to castration in jail.

I see Republicans are reaching for the “if there's grass on the pitch” defence for paedophilic actions. And they'll get away with it because, in general, it's a nation of idiots.