estrogen is cool and all but two years in i look exactly the same. just have modest boobs now and longer hair

"you were 19 and she was 28?" "yeah" "and she had control over when and where you could go and who you could speak with and enforced this through violence?" "I.. look when you put it that way it sounds pretty bad" "april, she basically kidnapped you"

why focus on any one project when you can split your attention across a dozen

visions of a cyberpunk tamriel fill my head

takes my brain a moment to register, 'oh, shit, i've met her in person and she's really fucking cool' with some folks on this website

i am willing to admit that, maybe, i do have _slightly_ disordered eating

well, that's some lego ordered

the height chatter today is making me feel a bit more comfortable being 6'5", thank you :3

GUESS WHAT NERDS WERE BACK ON THE REGULAR SCHEDULE ILL SEE YOU AT 7PM EST

okay, quick nap then shot.

therapy is what you go to when you want to learn how to stop being a messed up little freak, by circumstance, and become a messed up little freak by choice

nail fixed, huzzah funny how much it was stressing me out

i say it a lot, but i love us. we can and will find and know joy. and it will be through our efforts, not theirs.

shit, my new therapist is cool

if you can make me cum as hard as you make me cry i.... well, it's a start

we will not be examining why the paraffin is my favorite part of the pedicure

damn, nails almost made it to saturday but im going to have to sneak in a repair this would be easier if i didn't give a shit, but alas

all my love to every one of you that has touched my life, lightly or not, over the last year and a half

need a larger bed, but no space for it. bothersome

what if i take all the extra prog from these two bottles at once before starting on the refills

okay, surprise ups bill paid, and medical bill paid. and who else wants money from me while i'm at it?

is it odd that I write notes to myself on bsky telling me to do (or not do) some things? yes, but april, get out of bed and get some coffee

something about this weekend has been different

okay, what if I make a modest attempt at some eye stuff on saturday

alas, bed

maybe i should get something done elsewhere instead of diving into a large back piece as my first

saw myself in the mirror, didn't immediately panic, had a brief "oh, kinda cute actually" thought and now im just dumping that right to a post so I'll stop thinking about it and inevitably making it worse

never not going to be self-conscious about my weight, and i have no idea how to make peace with this

you know.... jordan's rant re: info wars and the onion seems correct

kinda want to go to crabtowne

what is the best chip, potato or corn, to put on a sandwich? i lean towards utz crab chip but a spicy nacho is solid

I said I was going to take more time off work to visit folks but we're in May and that's barely happened On track to repeat 2025, 2024, ...

... what if I sneak home real quick to grab my nippers and build the model sitting in my car

I have nothing left to do at work except clean up my prep room, and I have six hours to do that in

post your warning sign

when i was younger i used to call myself a misanthrope, but that isn't true. i just hated myself so much i thought people knowing me would drag them down so i tried to push them away this was, of course, wrong.

alright, maybe it is something you do with your teeth

a home should be a home, not just a place you store your body while unconscious or disassociating

some progress made, digging myself out of the pit i buried myself in years ago

find something that brings you joy today, weekends can get wobbly

life becomes a kind of hell when you grow up under the rule that, "if you cannot improve the silence then you should not speak" and it infects everything you do, or think

i should look into an ffs consult

i had some tasks i wanted to do tonight but i am so tired

one can't help but feel like a sheep dog when you're in a small car herding these SUVs into tighter intervals there are three car lengths between you and the car ahead of you, tighten it up buddy, there isn't a lot of space in this drive through

april but, blonde, maybe?

I think every album needs an intro track and, like, little interstitial tracks splitting it up, and an outro tell a story

oh, shit, I actually got the 9th off and didn't get bumped

the end of april was also the start of her

i need more stickers for the laptop. it's pretty bare at the moment kicking myself for forgetting to get one of krystal's when she was down here