The Midwestern need or urge or whatever to Beat The Traffic will never cease to amaze me, especially in this economy. Y'all paid how much to attend this sporting event, why are you not getting every minute of your money's worth?

Tell everyone you know. #SaveTheCaps

I can't wait to fill my closet with fifteen NWSL Columbus jerseys and buy season tickets and plan summer vacations to see them on the road. I can't freaking wait.

On April Fools' Discordecke/Server 96 became a fake AustinFC server & supporters group: "Good Boys&Girls of Verde" AustinFC brings shelter dogs to every match via @AustinPetsAlive 100+ adopted! We turned the prank into a charity drive. We're Crew fans & proved this community is about something more.

Columbus should have been the first, but they saved the best for last! #NWSLtoCBus is happening and we're so excited to cheer for our newest obsession! PS: Build the park, Jimmy!!

It makes me a little angry and more than a little sad that there aren't very many people in this space celebrating what should be a Massive Day for Columbus sports. Andy Ginther & HSG spoiled another million dollar opportunity. And HSG isn't even the majority owner of the NWSL franchise!

I hate how tainted NWSL to Columbus has become by the stench of Jimmy Haslam and civic politics. But I'm excited for it nonetheless and can't wait to be there on opening day.

I'm very excited to read the press release announcing the new Manager of Fan Culture & Development. Such a vital role should have as wide an introduction as possible.

By gawd, is that Mike Arace's music?!

I haven't seen a Crew team this hesitant to shoot the ball since Bobby Warzycha got fired.

Ok so the game isn't worth talking about so lemme ask this question: Why didn't anyone from #Crew96 do any major advertising for the best watch party idea to land in their lap in the past 10 years? This place should be more full. So disappointing.

I will V*nmo $19.96 to the first person at the Palace watch party who stands up and yells “I DO NOT LISTEN TO ACES RADIO” Please provide video evidence. Thank you.

Home away from home for the night. #Cree96

Speaking of Malarkey.

Duct tape, chicken wire, and hypocrisy. Malarkey.

I've been ejected from the #Crew96 match because a security guard thinks they saw me wave an unapproved flag after being warned about waving an unapproved flag. The flag in question:

They may only allow one Palestine flag into #crew96 stadium, but allow me to humbly post this link for no reason in particular: www.subsidesports.com/us/kelme-pal...

The Palestinian Children's Relief Fund is a great charity, let's all chip in a bit to help the kids who are greatly in need in honor of our new Number 9! #Crew96

What will it take for HSG to go to the press about their new star player being held up by the US Government because of his ethnicity? Genuinely curious. #Crew96

Sports is an entertainment industry.

Unintended consequence of Leagues Cup: MLS fans absolutely detest LigaMX.

So because the Crew is the away team tonight, this will be the largest ever NorOnTour, right? Right?!

I was extremely fortunate to be a part of the #Crew96 Circle of Honor process and honored to take up some space on that hallowed field with those wonderful folks during this weekend's ceremony. I hope I did y'all proud.

has been an amazing few years for introverts who would never accept an invitation to a mansion party, a freak off, a private jet ride, or an island retreat

According to CNBC, Haslam Sports Group is more valuable than City Football Group. Massive. www.cnbc.com/2025/07/08/c...

Happy 12th anniversary to the #Crew96 fan score debacle. 76.6 is a C, and Cs get degrees, y'all.

Imagine a world where the Columbus Crew is worth nearly a billion dollars. Massive. #Crew96 "HSG sold the shares to the Edwards family, which was already a partner in the team and will now own 30% of the 2023 MLS Cup champions." www.sportico.com/business/tea...

Brass Room Key!

Very interesting final paragraph in the #Crew96 press release about Soccer For All Day: www.columbuscrew.com/news/columbu...

No one hates us like we hate us.

He's back!

I know it's probably my own character flaw, but when I visit a Jewish deli I kind of expect East Coast expediency. Oh well, Biali!

I'll be hosting the Introverts Tailgate at my truck - next to #minitailgate - as usual.

There's a Rand McNally Road Atlas in my truck right now.

We need more neck tattoos. #Crew96

Here's a hot take: Pat Noonan would be a better #Crew96 Match Ignitor for tomorrow than Archie Griffin.

We're so back #Crew96

Taps the sign.

Movie you've watched more than six times using gifs. ("Hard Mode" not Star Wars, Star Trek, or LotR)

In my thread earlier about inclusion nights for MLS teams, I was using data from the schedule pages on each team’s individual website. It was pointed out that I should also be including data from separate promotional calendars and press releases. I looked for those, and here is that data.

Was just reminded that @morganhughes.bsky.social & @supportersupply.co still need to bring back the Chop Wood, Carry Water merch. Maybe with a When In Doubt, Make Cool Shit companion.

There are a lot of things that can be said about Columbus #Crew96 fans, but the least discussed thing about us is that we do the damn research. We grab the receipts. And we are not shy about holding them up for all of #MLS to see. Read this thread, and call your ticket reps as appropriate.

What happens when Matt, Smitty, Morgan, Kris, Duncan and me have some beers then gather round a table to reminisce about things related to #Crew96? Find out here! Thanks to Sam for the invite, and huge congrats to the Massive Report gang for episode 500! massivereportpodcast.podbean.com/e/ep-500/

Bluesky is collegial and interesting, the way Twitter used to be. Bonus: most people can spell.

When you have a WH press briefing at 1:00 but a rap battle against Eminem at 2:00

This headline construction could apply to nearly anyone in the Trump 2.0 administration. "The EPA Head Who Hates the Environment." "The HHS Secretary Who Hates Science-Based Medicine." "The Education Sec. Who Hates Education." "The President Who Hates Democracy." The nihilism is a throughline.

Diners that use shredded iceberg lettuce for their BLTs should be shut down by the health department.