I fear you have delighted us enough, kindly fornicate away with the utmost alacrity. I should not wish to fatigue your mind with particulars nor trouble you with matters of complexity. It is plain you speak from the sphincter rather than the head with the gift of simplicity.

Millions of us are still struggling to access affordable NHS dental care. I’ve signed 38 Degrees’ petition demanding Keir Starmer properly funds NHS dentistry now, will you join me? you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/fu...

Is he dead yet?

Reality www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Ummmm…… is this the best name for a lager?

Autumn may be here but the garden keeps giving

Please sign and share you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/fu...

The media are trying to silence me!". How many times has #Farage been on Question Time? Is this the same guy on #GBNews with this own programme? Says man in 20th media appearance of the week

The wind and rain brought down some of the tall sunflowers. Still, it’s an ill wind etc

Oh purlease…..

If you have any doubts about the Lucy Connolly conviction, search @LJCJ83 on Twitter

The face of a dinner lady who doesn’t do seconds

It's the deep deep levels of patriotic respect for the flag that bring a tear to my eye. Such a perfectly crafted representation. They must have spent days marking it out with masking tape and... Wait, WTF? Are they for real?

Oh purlease……..

Over 4kg tomatoes. Gonna slice the biggies and do sun-dried

He wasn’t shot. He didn’t win. He’s on the list.

Breaking: JD Vance just arrived in the Cotswolds, UK, on holiday. Apparently having this meme on his phone got one tourist banned from entering the US. So here it is on a huge billboard near where JD's holidaying 👍 📍Cheltenham, Cotswolds, UK

The view from the window

Today has been a marvellous day

Garden visitor

Every. Single. Time.

Hey, UK media! Are you just going to let Farage dump another steaming pile of populist bullshit on us *without ever* properly scrutinising his ideas or him…his funding, his riots, his links to Putin and Trump, his Brexit shitshow, his grifting side gigs, his lies, his ignorance…? Call. Him. TF. Out.

Oh jeezus. #r4today has James Cleverly pretending he’s got a coherent position on leaving the ECHR. Groundhog Day. More tedious, far right, isolationist, untrustworthy, ruinous nonsense claiming to be reasonable. Go away and have a proper think. Because you’re not coming back until you do.

How did this woman endear herself to David Cameron, that he promoted her way ahead of her intellectual capacity. Mind you, he made Michelle Mone a baroness. Clearly, he’s an impeccable judge of character. Then the Tories (all fuckwits) voted Liz into No10,where she trashed the economy. LAMENTABLE.

I think Sir Keir Starmer is doing a very good job in awful circumstances

🇬🇧 James Dyson offshored jobs, dodged EU law, and cheerled Brexit to escape “red tape”. 💥 Now UK 🇬🇧 courts are letting forced labour claims through — right to his door. That’s Brexit handing him back his own a*se. Gift-wrapped in court papers 🎁 www.leighday.co.uk/news/blog/20...

Come along to this, it'll be great. I'm speaking on Sunday 13th, and then launching my new book "Tories: The End of an Error". And for once it's not in the south - it's at Keele University, so I can be home by tea time. Yay! Hope to see you there. www.bylinesupplement.com/p/just-four-...

Home Secretary Yvette Cooper says Labour will restrict the number of care workers from abroad. Going forward employers should recruit locally. One thing we learned from Brexit: Brits will not fill all those jobs that immigrants currently do.

Surely, it's not that difficult Keir Starmer, to say to the country "Despite what was in our manifesto, the world has changed 180° since it was written. America is not a reliable friend atm. The government therefore believes we should #RejoinEU" petition.parliament.uk/petitions/70...

Johnson believed Trump would put a “brutal squeeze” on Putin. Trump, this dolt “Witkoff” and Johnson all have something in common; they’re all gullible, Putin Gulls Trump, Trump gulls Johnson. Starmer must now see no deal of any sort with Trump is safe. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Musk might be the biological father to loads of children but he clearly isn't a dad. Dads love their children, no matter what or how they turn out. Them's the rules.

Analysis by the House of Commons library estimates the 5 per cent drop of trade with EU since Brexit to be worth £37bn annually. It’s the Labour gov duty to mate sure Uk joins SM and CU. Uk can’t afford to be outside.

This growing hoarding of wealth and gaping inequality can only end badly for society as the poor become poorer and young people become more disenfranchised and the most vulnerable people just discarded, we will head towards revolution or dystopia.

YouTube knows….

Ooh, I know this: it's because he's a bullshitting, imbecilic narcissist who is either (best case) too incompetent to avoid being played by Putin, or (worst case) an active Kremlin asset working for Putin from inside the Oval Office. Do I get a prize?