Can we just call it early and give the next miles franklin to the Harold Holt swimming centre guy on Instagram?

we need kaiju billy corgan immediately

Where I'd rather be today: in London, looking at this exhibition of Le Guin's maps

Copywriters. We need to talk about the word "elevate". Unless you actually work for an elevator company, could you maybe...I dunno, try a different word once in a while?

*immediately adds a frankly irresponsible number of comics to her cart*

Make fonts serif again

My niece and I drew pictures of the same orca image from the internet, then rated then. Mine is the one at the top. I gave hers a score of 20/10 ✨

I'm going away. Somewhere your emails will never find me.

Aussie Bird Count, Melbourne edition:

An update on the whaaaaat?

My 10yo nephew, completely out of nowhere: Nothing beats a Jet2 holiday, and right now you can save up to £50 per person My 75 year old mum: ...um WHAT

In every relationship, there's someone with a normal, working front door key and someone who has to stand outside wedged inside the screen door, twisting their key in the lock around for five minutes while muttering swear words

Buried halfway through the article: a book written by the CEO of QED Books is QBD's current "book of the month". Also, it sounds godawful.

My mum calls him "goat-yeah"

Waiting for TISM

Trying to find out when the Miles Franklin announcement is happening and AI has already called it

Sometimes, I long for him

At no point of "dancing on my own" does Robyn specifically say the song is set *at a club*

Kid at my work, looking at my lazy eye intensely: ARE YOU BLIND? Me: No, but I do have bad eyesight, which is why I wear these big glasses Kid: CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING?? Me: Yes, but my eyes are a bit different...

Things I absolutely didn't have on my bingo card for this year #42 - taking my bereaved mum to see AC/DC

When I was born, an evil witch placed a curse on me: she shall love dogs, but forever be too shy to ask if she can pat them

They should give you an actual, literal black dog when you're depressed.

Spaceballs??? There goes the planet...again (please be good, please be good...)

Why is every second company trying to sell me fancy luggage lately? Where is everyone GOING? I can't afford to cross the street??

I woke up like this (tired)

This is so smart!

Thinking of Steve and Tracy tonight, and the books that will never be written. Vale Tracy.

Hahaha, eat a bag of Dickson

Minecraft kids: collectively losing their shit over chicken jockey Bluesky auspol: collectively losing their shit over chicken gutting 🐔🔪

Understandable reaction to meeting Vance tbh

Anyway, this is the bit where I have flashbacks to the chunk of my twenties where I watched the movie Willow on repeat whenever I was feeling rough - which was a lot. Val Kilmer as Madmartigan was the whole heart of this film. Also, talking of hearts... *glasses slowly fog up*

Berrt

Okay WHY have I never bothered to look up what CAPTCHA actually stands for until now??

I'm slooowly getting over my third bout of covid, or as I like to call it: coviiid PS. don't get covid

Um yes please? Especially the artist in residence thing!

I try not to post about melon too much, but the whole "write down five things you did this week" thing is reeeeally taking me back to the bad old days of working for startup types. Ooft

Thousands of dollars worth of improvements

Ahahahahaha, Spotify shuffle, you crack me up

(big sigh) Oh nothing, just thinking about the Sandbenders computer from William Gibson's "Idoru" again...

The body keeps the score: BODY 5 - 11 (41) COLL 13 - 11 (89)

I've been staying at my parents' place in the country for a few days. I went down the main street and didn't want to hassle my mum for a lift back home, so I opened the Uber app and got the Uber home.

Oddly sad about Chad Morgan. My dad used to play his records when we were little - which felt like torture at the time. My dad's really sick and losing Chad Morgan feels like losing a bit of dad as well. Anyway - never thought I'd say this - but I'm VOLUNTARILY listening to Chad Morgan tonight

There was a regular in the library all day today on one of the computers watching the cricket with his headphones on and trying very very hard not to completely lose his shit

Ahh, December 27 - 31. Welcome to the perineum of the year.

There's legit only one thing I expect from a social media platform on Boxing Day, and that's a picture of a supermarket with hot cross buns on sale (bonus points if people are getting shitty about it in the comments)

My partner got me little Lego versions of us for Christmas! Wheee!

Perfection

My niece found out about Santa the other day. After a pause, she asked her mum in a very concerned voice - "do Aunty Michelle and Uncle Angus know yet?"

I'm getting an iron infusion tomorrow so I went to the chemist to get the liquid iron stuff. He hands me my prescription and says "take this with you to your appointment and they'll put it in the drip" I say, "okay, but i prefer to be called Michelle"

I consider it a blessed day when I get to pat corner kitty