Shoot for mediocre old one and be pleasantly surprised at being an above average old one, not everyone gets to be a great old one

One of my coworkers had no idea France had colonized Southeast Asia. She just thought their incorporation of French pastry was a culinary tribute, or related to Julia Child. Her entire concept of colonialism was limited to the Americas.

:\ can't believe some of u are still supporting cs lewis even after he jerked off in front of those women

Took a little trip with a friend, shared a hotel room, just got informed I have night terrors.

Sometimes I worry that Lord of the Rings gave me unrealistic expectations for platonic friendship. But I still insist on making sure my few remaining friends can carry my bodyweight up a mountainside and I frequently quiz them on how they would defeat a giant spider.

How the fuck did no one tell me that the guy who directed Snakes on a Plane died under mysterious circumstances and how hasn't a disaffected millennial podcaster done a true crime series on this yet!?

No joke I legitimately think that the biggest thing we could do for asexual visibility is arrange the letters in "LGBTQIA" alphabetically. If we start the initialism off with A people will pay more attention.

"You keep saying 'social convention' but I don't see no ballpit"

"Do Balrogs Have Wings" - the greatest thread in the history of Arda, locked by a maia after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

Goofus argues with people about how to pronounce the G in "GIF". Gallant argues with people about how to pronounce the G in "Hegelian"

What if we kissed inside of the battletech pod uwu

I just got accused of misogyny by someone who paid Elon Musk to verify their roleplay account on twitter

I may not be 'formally diagnosed' by a 'doctor' with a 'degree', but I play the theremin and moderate three subreddits so yeah, I think I am qualified to opine on the matter

You have to understand that if robots ever achieved sentience that would prove Calvinist theology right

sometimes you need a therapist to give you a reality check, like saying "you don't want a partner, you want a philosophy graduate advisor with a big ass"

Found a reddit thread from over a decade ago where people made fun of Americans for not being allowed to bet on sports other than Jai Alai. It is interesting that sports betting only became a moral panic when it was legalized in the US.

Prolonging my lifespan by challenging Ingmar Bergman's Death to a Jubilee debate

"yeah I need to go back to my atelier and change out the filament in the 3D printer after the last dragon dildo I printed gave my wife a rash"

rest in piss motherfucker

When a god stops granting cleric spells, should that be referred to as an "Amen break?"

Hey, say what you want about Scott Adams but we'd never have gotten Savage Dragonbert without him.

No new pictures, where are you mentally?

living in a world where the only two jobs are “gambling” and “murder” isn’t nearly as cool as Cowboy Bebop made it out to be

I truly don't understand why AI making people dumber is a bad thing. All you personally have to do is not use AI and you suddenly become the one eyed king of the blind. There's no fucking downside.

One of my mom's neighbors here in NYC keeps consistently referring to "Mayor Zoolander" and I don't know if that's hilarious or racist

I'm not talking about "early Wittgenstein" you twit. I'm talking prenatal Wittgenstein; when the consciousness that would be Wittgenstein was still forming in Bardo.

I saw the raisin bran sun at an asexual speed dating event at the alcohol free bar but they dipped out before we could connect

I was too stoned and lazy to chop chilies and garlic for my guacamole last night so I put a huge scoop of lao gan ma into it instead and it SLAPS

Are aroace people allowed to sit in loveseats?

Marty Supreme could've been improved 500% if Chalamet just did a Jeanralphio impression throughout

There's some irony in Grok being made by a man who famously failed to save people from a cave being used to trap someone in a Platonic cave

"He's much like the outsider artist Henry Darger, with the notable exception that he doesn't believe that all girls have penises, only the cool ones."

Thinking of ending all my emails with "May you die a warrior's death, Maximilian"

Existence precedes essence, ergo, the gamer is what powers the gamer fuel

Them: "Would you still love me if I were a worm?" Me: "If they make a Playstation Six would you get mad at me if I only called it 'PS Double-Triple'?"

Nightmare before Christmas presupposes that there are entire worlds based on holidays. I propose that the New Year's Day world is inhabited solely by fictional characters who are born the moment they enter the public domain. Conan the Barbarian hanging out with Nancy Drew and Micky Mouse.

guy who has only read "The Silmarillion" observing current events: "hmmm getting real Downfall of Númenor vibes from this"

w-wow, your a scene girl??? and an alcoholic???? and u look like my daughter????? humina humina!!!!!! please don't tell anyone i write for the atlantic

Coworker: Are you watching the new Fallout season? Me, visibly sweating: I'm still catching up

but what if you could actually sell people on "premium human decency"?

Jefferson Starship Miku Binder send tweet

Dear god, if this is what Trump is willing to do for Maduros just imagine what lengths he'll go for Tostones

Zohran is the Zizmorcore mayor and I will not be taking any questions.

I saw the face of God and He asked me to subscribe to His patreon