if i never hear another "otherwise it's just sparkling [...]" joke it'll be too soon. sorry for being a groch

happy anniversary to the smartest and funniest person i have ever met. thank you for marrying me @maksheadroom.bsky.social

nothing better than saying "so... you wanna go back to my place" to the husband. never gets old, right @maksheadroom.bsky.social??? right??

uggggghhhhhhh i love teaching so much

sorry if this is a cancellable offense but i don't care for the "moon's haunted" tweet! it's too epic bacon for me

so a "short stack" is two pancakes but a "tall stack" is three pancakes? i just think that hardly leaves any room for error

bad news, gang. there was a mixup in the surgery and they accidentally gave me nothing-preserving everythingplasty. bye

got my yeztugo injection and promptly fainted #futchsummer

getting a letter from a therapist endorsing my everything-preserving nothingplasty

i need this immensely. i need to import sport peppers to california NOW

maybe it's the Friday talking or the 30 mi. bike ride to the top of a tall hill to watch the sun set talking or the 2.5 mg cannabis edible talking or the warm-but-not-hot shower talking or the bowl of pasta talking but i think the city is so beautiful and i'm cute and i'm going to be okay

sunset bike ride where i put a beer in my extra water bottle cage? #yes

one of the best Kinds of Sounds in music is the incidental sounds of playing an instrument. the click of the pads on a saxophone hitting the holes, the inhale of a singer's breath, the slide of a wedding ring down the fretboard. yum

not to brag but I'm on a 5-day perfect streak on enclose.horse fyi

get it trysted

got a new old-timey therapist. we're doing mesmerism and shit, he's a close friend of my father, he keeps studying eels etc

12-bar blues was the greatest to ever do it. a whole century of music based around a single progression. unbeatable

daft punk discovery revealed the sorry truth: everyone just wants to listen to the same two bars over and over again if they're good enough

sunset at 7:15? rooftop party??? sunburndt???? well of course! it's the first day of summer

okay i outlasted seasonal depression. time to lock back in on regular depression

it's bullshit they only sell planners that start in january. what about those of us whose anxiety about not maximizing our potential flares up mid-year?

Buckingham Nicks? I’m too busy Suckingtham Tits

he's so stoic

wearing shorts and having a picnic with my dog??? you know what that means: it's the first day of summer

i required that it end with a consonant instead of a vowel, and i wanted it to sound vaguely jewy

i like the idea of switching to Linux but every time i try there's like one thing that doesn't work right and i give up. usually it's trackpad gestures

i thought abt doing a feb post on instagram and then i remembered it was one of the most emotionally difficult months in my recent memory. i did take a lot of pics of professor tho heres some of my favs

got misgendered by an artistic role model in front of a room full of my peers, no one noticed and i had to leave to cry in the hall AMA

relevant to a conversation i am having, which do you think is more well known: Charlie Bit My Finger or yaoi

most things people grieve are nouns

i just learned that the deadly anaphylactic peanut allergy I've had since infancy is showing up negative on the tests???? what is the best peanut food

matched with a cute girl on feeld (sorry) but her first message was "can you teach me to dance 🥺". sorry sister, that's m'job

[squidward meme] when you're in a "wearing a facemask incorrectly" competition and your opponent is a septuagenarian

"tits or ass?" bro there's a little bug look it's right there on the window sill just crawling around let's get a cup and a sheet of paper

i know what they say about throwing stones in a glass house but instagram has really cooked the brains, especially the vocabulary and media literacy, of so many of my acquaintances. if i have to see that dead-eyed therapist talk at me about "validity" again i will scream!!!

listening to the read-aloud album credits on Narrow Stairs and absolutely freaking it

not much what's sinkdog with you?

okay time for some new music for me. what are we listening to these days? rock, pop, folk/alt-country, Music Your Mom Would Like

put your hair up in a messy bun put on some alt country and handle it

could they please make the flights to montreal cheaper. july 4th weekend, if anyone's listening btw. whatever

marriage means he makes me pancake batter while i scroll in bed, and i cook him pancakes while he sits and drinks his coffee

i'm on this and i can't explain how painful the injection was. i couldn't walk for a day. to be clear it's still a modern miracle

last night was a something... it was like some sort of thing

[...] inside of a llewyn davis, it's too dark to read!

fuck

not sure why i made this

can someone please tell me who my landlord is

six months ago i came up with a cool name for the event i throw and then it went on hiatus and now i forgot the cool name

banger puzsq.logicpuzzle.app/puzzle/4991

i think this is the year i pick an animal to identify as. not dog i don't think but something else