i HeArD yOu ThE FiRsT tiMe, AlRiGhT ?!?!?!?!?????? ? ? ? ? 😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

wHUH ? ? SO IS TEAM TEEBFLY A NO GO THEN

stormfly , we are RIZZING . we are RIZZLERS . ( WE ? ? )

oh yeah , jazz ! this is nice ! ( STARTS DANCING )

WaITEAITWAITWAITWAIIT , EEEEEK -- STORMFLY ! ! ! ASK HIM HOW MUCH HE LIFTS. THAT' S MASCULINE . && THEN WHATEVER NUMBER HE SAYS . . TELL HIM I CAN LIFT TEN TIMES THA- WAIT . I CAN GET THE CALCULATOR APP OUT , I' LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN I' M REA- READY !!

. . . . . . . . stormfly . . . do you think . . he likes our music . . . ( leaning down , whispering but still yelling , like jazz isn' t right there , actively participating in their conversation ) you' re really good at that stuff . . can you lioke . .

w-well , there 's, you know , lioke - not lioke . . a lotta bots on it. . . But- but that ' s okay though because you know lioke... mecha are busy && not everybot wants to . . squabble over . . how to uh. ... fight .. fair . . when death is unfair but uh th-

YEAAH ! ! you know , i mean , it ' s not . . . Lioke . . the largest . .. there's only lioke . . Three people .. on the committee.. BuT I' M LIOKE. BIG. SO. it makes THE COMMITTEE LOOK BIG . but YEAH- YOU KNOW. LIOKE. it' s pretty Awesome 😎 . i' m awesome

NAWWT THAT ANYBOT MENTIONED , BUT INCASE ANYBOT FORGOT , I AM A PROUD CORE MEMBER OF THE ETHICS COMMITTEE ! SORREE TO INTERRUPT . . . just thought . . ..... . . incase anybot was wondering . . . . . um. i got a Badge -

stupid sexy trailbreaker

cuddling an entire ship' s supply of energex in his sleep , truck engine revving rumbling little purrs as he rubs his face against the barrel . a thigh hoisted && thoroughly hooked across it , arms hugging it tightly to his koala wrap . making happy , sleepy little noises

. . i' m Allll one for some friendly competition (<- lies guy who is lazy & nonconfrontational), && i know it's like- fun && all . . to see. like. . . not the nicest of mechs like. not be all composed && . Like. capable of meanness cause of it.. && stuff, but - like-

BRAiNSTORM-- ? ? ? WOAH , WAIT . IS THAT LIKE. APPROVED . THOUGH. LIKE. CERTIFIABLY - LIKE. LEGAL . THOUGH, CAUSE, LIKE . WELL. YOU KNOW. . .uh. BRAiNSTORM ? ? && LIKE. WHO WERE THE POSITIVE SOURCES WHO SAID YES TO THIS ? ? && ARE WE POSITIVE THEY'RE ALL OKAY .

i don' t really Know things . . but i' ll Say them

i think HE thinks it's weak because you're like the size of an ant, so , like, maybe, just maybe, bro, he's like. Underestimating you. && your liquid strength . because of your diminutive size. HOWEVER. .ants are like. SUPER TOUGH , RIOGHT? SO. LIOKE. CONUDRUM !

HEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY , DUDERRRRRRR ! ! ! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

OH BOY!!!!! I' M FINALLY HERE FOR THE EPIC POOL PARTYYYYYY !!!!!!! I SET OFF LIKE 5 DAYS IN ADVANCE, HAHA - you know how this bulky body can be sometimes,, ah-- hope i'm not TOO early ! i brought some drinks ! of COURSE! so let's ge- wdym over .

no Mcdonald's is the Real reason behind my depression .

yes , but i require at least a two weeks notice due to travel time

YOU GUYS DRANK LAVA ? ! ? . . . && without ME ? ? ? ?

' okay, trailbreaker, so 18 pounds of cokane, 12 pounds of crake , && 7 male strippers . but make sure none of them are white, i won 't be able to see the coke on them if they are . '

😥

⠀ ooh we break the laws of attraction like you're sent from up above got a case of Fiery Love ooh we're like a chemical reaction or a code you can't debug got a case of Fiery Love ( humming incredibly quiet under his engine's vents as he puruses through the security system. thinking of inferno ) ⠀

good meowrning, guys :] ( it ' s the late afternoon . )

nau - nau ! ! omp ! ! IT' S BEEN LIOKE !! FOREVERRR, omp, how ARE you, bes- URRKKF. URFFN GAH - !!

( SUGAR ? HE'S . IN . )

average conversations with red alert . @paranoidirect.bsky.social .

. . you' re welcome , emo ?? ( my boss is so fucking lame.. trailbreaker thinks to himself while he puts on a plague doctor mask && gloves. trying to put the cloak on but it rips at his chassis so he just ties it on as an emo cape . okay, purrrr, safety ! purrrrr ! )

⠀ my Dark Mistress awaits me . ( rolls away in his forcefield hamster ball & hazmat suit . majestically . ) ⠀

wait- lioke, where are you going though -- ( . . forming a hamster ball bubble around the neat freak anyway ? ? )

💭 fortress maximus < TRAILBREAKERRRRRR 😛😛😛😛😛

aw hell nah , ratchet got the damn cheese touch 😭

do we have a massage mecha on the ship 💔 i really want a massage mecha on the ship 💔 i think we should have a massage mecha on the ship 💔

⠀ i have reasons to believe that megatron appointed trailbreaker to the security position solely to make my life more miserable than it already is . ⠀

( trying to grab that stupid walkie talkie off the nightstand. missing. missing- FUCK IT. shooting out a forcefield grapple hook through his holed palm && lassoing it over to himself while his face is still buried in the softness of his pillow ) . . . you lost me at ' Run ' .

( 💧💧💧💧. . ) ( he can FEEL red alerts judgemental stare even if he was nowhere near. . && he KNOWS that mech is Always listening. . . . groaning as he tries to shift himself onto the side without the giant recharge cable stabbed into it, muffling his groans into the pillow at the discomfort

( laying face down on his recharge beft, big cord plugged into his side to resupply his needy energon levels. took two steps && needed an immediate refilling, it seemed. curse his stupid energon draining bulky body. no bot better cause any trouble while he's stuck refueling. &&!! HIS BACK HURTS ! )

maybe writing my megatron fanfics will ease the pain

lioke. . EmOtiOnaLLy-- ? ? because that could be very liokely . . . .. -- 💧 i' m a fragile flower in that regard

unghhhh, my back && my belly HURTTTTTTT. i don' t even know what i did. this SUCKS

( confused glance at the slim figured escape through the door. . . . he feels a bit shamed 😞 smiling it off with the drunk aftereffects ) oooohh-- are you lioke- playing Games ? ? OH , BRO! LET ME HELP YOU!! i' m lioke- a BEAST at games ! i think i totes just lioooke.. won aa

( ... visor blinking. glancing around .. ... is this.. a new room ? why is he suddenly moved ?? what happened ? ? ? . . he doesn't REMEMBER his servo connecting , but. . he doesn' t remember . A Lot . Actually . ... drank . . Way too much WOAH- MAYBE.. MAYBE THAT'S THE KEY, THOUGH! DRINK SO

hey, so lioke- no hard feelings- KNOCK ON WOOD- or should i say- DOOR ! because you're lioke.. a metal DOOR ? ? GET IT ? && you're HARd-okaynowit 'skindaum.nowit' sgetting.Weird. um. anyhow- i consider myself a pacifist . . but i' m gonna Pass My Fist ..through.. YOU !

i WOOOOON SOMETHINGGGG ! ! YOU GUYS ! OMP ! YOU GUYS ! ! come LOOK ! i think i- i think i WON ! ! i Won !! i wo- ( barbie dream house Raquelle running on a beach slow mo video ) ( getting hit in the helm with a locked down bar door ) .... ?? . . . ... guys ?