Count Binface removing the bin from his face to reveal multiple totenkopf tattoos

It's crazy when there's not any real development in a major crime but the news has to say something, so you get something like, "Interpol believes the man is either hiding in Ireland or fled the country after the murder." That's good. That's good, you've got it narrowed down to "the world."

Karaoke bars flying flags at half-mast

I hate when the ceremonial burning in effigy of my enemies is marred by controversy

You can't really make fun of someone for being old. How will you ever mock my age more brutally than my body does every time I somehow sprain a muscle while sitting still?

If you wanted to be a really weird bookstore owner, you could put a table together entirely of books called "Communion" featuring Whitley Strieber, JD Vance and Bell Hooks.

My wife is pretty sure wild foxes want to be her friends, and I think this is the female equivalent of when a guy is pretty sure he could take a bear in a fight.

It's crazy that there's an X-Men villain whose name is Sauron, and canonically he chose his name because he's a Tolkien nerd. Are the other villains not constantly making fun of him?

I wanna see the animators who have to pretend Fred and Daphne don't have obviously dated looks try to grapple with Mike.

Bluesky this morning:

In better news, John Oliver's three-day stint/stunt as a corporate villain on legendary soap opera "General Hospital" appears to be going... fucking brilliantly?? I have watched this clip on a loop for like 20 mins I really, truly need to see the full episodes NOW

They're called the rules of acquisition, Lemon. The sacred precepts on which all society is based.

My daughter is going through teenage girl antagonism towards her mom, so she'll walk through the room scowling for no reason. I'll go "why are you scowling at us," and she'll suddenly brighten up, make a heart with her hands and say, "not you daddy, you're perfect" then resume scowling at my wife.

It's extremely funny that Sinn Féin has clearly gotten the message that people are annoyed with them for moving right, so their plan is to huffily explain how moving right on every issue doesn't necessarily mean they're "moving right" per se.

You can tell when Americans have just taken an interest in something because there'll be a ton of shocked posts like, "Corruption? At FIFA?!?"

(Chuckling slightly) you know, technically "A Christmas Story" is a Christmas movie

In honor of America's semiquincentennial, I will watch one (1) episode of American Dad. I will choose the episode; it will be "Paranoid Frandroid," the one where Klaus the goldfish fucks Snot's mom.

A few times I've asked tattoo artists how do you learn this, and every time they answer "my friends let me practice on them." Have to assume tattoo artists have friggin great friends.

Wondering why everyone's making America jokes, realizing oh, it's July 4th weekend, then realizing hey I moved to Ireland five years ago this past Wednesday. Not sure where I'm going with this. I guess just dragging a cig and saying "America? Oh yeah, I did live there didn't I?"

Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC

I love Ireland, and as someone who loves this country, I feel like I have to sit you down and tell it to you straight: You can't be calling that stuff taco sauce.

To be fair, this is in the Minions movie and cracked me up when my daughter saw it. The prologue is explicitly like, "throughout history, they have worked for the most evil men of every era THAT BEING SAID THEY SPENT THE MIDDLE OF THE 20TH CENTURY NOT DOING THAT, JUST GETTING THAT ON RECORD"

The X-Men '97 scene where Jubilee is fighting prison guards on roller blades to Veruca Salt is 100,000 times cooler than anything that actually would have appeared on the 90s X-Men cartoon

The EU has given us the reins of power, the fools have played right into our hands

ME POSTING WHILE TRAVELING WITHIN THE EU: My thoughts on this airport? (unfurls long scroll) ME POSTING WHILE TRAVELING TO AMERICA: Man I love the show 24. That Jack Bauer, right?

Rhodes airport: It sucks!™

It's been several months, but I'm still chuckling at the fact that the judge in the case of The British People vs. Gerry Adams Continuing to Get Away With It was named Jonathan Swift. Come on now. Come on.

Remake of Breaking Bad where Walt is a 15-year-old girl

Love discovering new and exciting breads while traveling

Greece: Very fond of dicks

There's no specific moment you can pin down when the Golden Age of Simpsons ended, but there is a moment you knew it was over, and that moment was seeing the tomacco episode come on in syndication and deciding to watch something else.

In The Producers, when Kenneth Mars is chasing them around shooting at them, finally decides to turn the gun on himself, but pulls the trigger and realizes he's out of bullets. So he slumps to the ground more annoyed than anything else and says, "Boy, when szings go wrong"

The Greeks are unparalleled in crafting sweaty fat guy clothing. This is not backhanded or in any way ironic, nobody in the game is doing it like them

On a boat to Symi. Daughter got worried by the lack of towns and asked if the island was a desert. I gotta find out what they're teaching her in that geography class, these are clearly mountains. I know she's at least played Settlers of Catan.

Every plan I see from the government for housing is largely unobjectionable in a vacuum, but infuriating when stacked up against the actual problem. Like seeing somebody who's on fire and offering them a moist towelette. Moist towelettes are fine, they're not the issue here.

The general vibe of Rhodes. An observation, not a complaint.

Horrified to discover that putting chips inside the pita is in fact the authentic Greek way to make a gyro

And on the pedestal these words appear: My name is Ozy-meow-ndias, king of kings

I read the D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths cover to cover obsessively as a kid, and there's nothing more jarring than something extremely real popping up in Swan Boy

Holy shit this resort has free drinks at the poolside bar

Fuckin seaside tourist shops man

I was in Greece for 12 hours before I saw bare hog on a statue. Not an ancient one either, like a public sculpture.

"Satire requires a clarity of purpose" okay but did you know there are people who think Judge Dredd is about how cool cops are. However clear you are you're gonna lose a few.

Rhodes airport: Could be more efficient, not gonna lie

"What if John Byrne stayed on X-Men and Chris Claremont left" is, I guess, kind of an interesting question, insofar as the answer is "you've never heard of X-Men and I wonder what fills that pop-cultural vacuum."

I'm a tall guy from Providence. How hard do you think I'd have to work to get people to call me "The Colossus of Rhode Island?" Pretty hard probably.