Great moments in Conservative Party History. Part 38 of an occasional series. The romantic photo of 2019 capturing the moment when Prime Minister Boris Johnson showed his wife Carrie his spaffing machine whilst proposing to her on the steps of St Paul’s Cathedral. ❤️

Bunty & I are having a break. We’re taking part in the annual 3 day golf competition between Gussage & our deadly rivals Wimborne St Giles. It’ll be intense & Bunty is expecting glasses of sherry to be thrown at her, whilst I’ll be called rude names such as ‘bounder’ Back Sunday!

Happy birthday my darling Bunty! I’ve bought my beloved: A donkey field A Your Party membership Some mince Voucher for a day’s fracking A dancing lesson with Thomas Skinner Some Bosh A bumper pack of paracetamol A drone A St George’s Cross adorned mini roundabout in Solihull. 🥳

Golf once was an example of sportsmanship & good manners. But look at this. Europe’s Ryder Cup team mocking President Trump. Mr Trump is a much loved man & a great peacemaker. These golfers should be reprimanded.😡 This is why we must never rejoin The EU!

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Other work of the Ladybird artists. 'St Clement Dane’s from Aldwych' Artist: SR Badmin

"From a spray of hazel a nuthatch takes a nut" What to Look for in Autumn, 1960 Artist: CF Tunnicliffe

Other work by the Ladybird artists. ‘Mam Tor, Derbyshire’ Artist: SR Badmin

“The starlings in this picture are at the halfway stage between their juvenile and adult plumage” Artist: CF Tunnicliffe Writer: EL Grant Watson ‘What to Look for in Autumn’ (1960)

Other work by the Ladybird artists ‘Wheatham Hill, near Petersfield’ Artist: SR Badmin

“The swallows can be distinguished from the martins by their reddish-chestnut throats and foreheads, their beautiful steel-blue backs and wings, and their long, forked tails” What to Look for in Autumn, 1960 Writer: EL Grant Watson Artist : CF Tunnicliffe

Other work of the Ladybird book artists. ‘Yorkshire fishing village’ Reader’s Digest, 1972 Artist: Ronald Lampitt

Other work by the Ladybird artists ‘September’ Shell Nature Studies, 1956 Artist: Rowland Hilder and Maurice Wilson

‘Beside the river’ The Stream, 1976 Artist: David Palmer

I did the artwork for this piece in @wired.com !

President Trump made a secret visit to us. I’ve known him since he was a young pussy grabber. He enjoyed nibbling Jill’s hot baps. He adored Bunty’s flaps & was enchanted by Simple Sally’s stories of geese & poltergeists. Len our Reform UK butcher came…then came again! Fab day! 🇺🇸

Just look at King Charles as President Trump calls him a ‘Great King.’ The sheer joy in his face shows how a great friendship is developing between him & the President. With Melania dressing up as a lamp stand to win a bet, I’d say this Presidential trip has been a great success!

Your Party. No it’s not it’s My Party. It isn’t Your F*cking Party it’s actually My Party. It was supposed to be Our Party, how come it’s Yours? Because you said it was Your Party. I didn’t say it was My Party. Look it isn’t Your F*cking Party so f*ck off! Your Party, my arse! 😤

Do listen! Truly inspiring words from our respected and beloved ex Prime Minister Boris Johnson. The young people of this country need to: Swear MORE Drink MORE and Shag MORE! 👏👏👏👏👏

I ask you all tonight to light a candle & pray for this lovely young couple Andy & Sarah OK apart from: Toe sucking Extra marital affairs Business meetings with Col Gadaffi Lying to a fake sheikh Building up massive debts Alleged Paedophilia Befriending a pimp. They deserve our love. 🙏🏻

I’m changing my will & having a Charlie Kirk style funeral. We’ll use the parish hall & get the vicar to blast out Peter’s & Lee tunes on his cassette recorder. Paperboy Dean can switch his torch on & off. Then Jill from the shop can light sparklers as Liz Truss reads my eulogy!

FAO President Trump! Simple Sally who works in Jill’s village shop says Paracetamol causes autism. She also says sour milk causes plague. Eating mud can freeze your brain. Touching moths gives you fungus. Sniffing hay can make you incontinent & eating apple pips cures deafness.🤪

Did you know that after Gregg Wallace has taken paracetamol for a headache he drops his trousers and takes off his underpants?

Using Donald Trump’s famous words: They’ll be eating the cats and dogs next in Boston! 🙄

‘Joanne has roasted Royal Park Swan in a Boston Duck infused sauce served on a bed of fresh paracetamol…’

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Always Time For Kindness.. Enjoy 💕 #SheShed

So dear dear Danny Kruger has defected to Reform. To be honest my wife Bunty and I can’t stand him. It was when he did that poor quality video at the end of the general election pretending to be that creepy stalker from the film ‘Love Actually.’ Hmmmm🤔 Need I say any more? 😬

Pssst! Don’t tell anyone but we Conservatives are infiltrating Reform & will soon be taking it over. Next it’ll be Liz Truss, Govey & Jacob Rees Mogg joining. Then Boris…who will dethrone Farage & take over as leader! Bye bye Farage, Richard Tights & all your thickos. Ha ha! 😂

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BBC News - www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba... Champions League: Reaction as Liverpool, Bayern Munich and PSG all win - BBC Sport

My wife Bunty & I decided to have a romantic weekend in Paris. It has truly been très magnifique! ❤️ Imagine our surprise then, as we decided to walk up to the Arc de Triomphe, to be confronted by 3 million English patriots proudly marching & beating up the local gendarmerie! 🤦‍♂️

Let’s not give up hope on President Trump as a peacemaker.☮️ He stopped the Azerbaijan & Albania war that had raged on for 22 years. You know that war. It’s the one Lee Anderson served bravely in whilst fighting in The Somme.💪

“September is the time for hop-picking, when large numbers of people come from the towns to help harvest them” (1960) Artist: CF Tunnicliffe Writer: EL GrantWatson

‘Oak’ Ladybird Book of Trees, 1963 Artist: SR Badmin