I don't like to guess how people would evolve, but I'm pretty sure Tom Petty would not care for these prices

Feminism has gone too far.

I spent so many years actively fearing death that it ruined my life and now I'm kinda looking forward to it

After being in a bad marriage for 15 years, I choose not to spend any more energy on that which I have no impact. I give very little to politics or causes. But the people in my real life - be they friends, family, lovers, or randos on the street - get my full love and attention.

It's not hyperbole in the least to say Musk purchased a six-month shadow presidency for $280 million and used the power of that shadow presidency to 1. Steal the government’s data, 2. Permanently damage the state’s ability to regulate his businesses, and 3, kill non-white people.

oh really then how do I greet my dilznoofus

I don't understand collecting at all. It's materialism. Shouldn't we all be working towards accepting the impermanence of all things?

I am baffled as to why anyone would think the Royals need a new stadium. Kauffman is iconic, gorgeous, and well-laid out. It's a ten-minute drive from downtown, and parking is easy. I visited for the first time in 2024, and it immediately became a Top 5 stadium for me. www.kctv5.com/2026/04/22/s...

Nathan Lane just seems like a great hang. Can anyone confirm?

The Ohio legislature is trying to ruin my summer.

How can I ask anyone to love me When all I do is beg to be left alone? Oh, and I tried to love

When we say "biopic," what do we even mean? I'm not sure I know anymore.

Fast-forward to Tom Cruise winning his Oscar for "NORM STORY"

Feels great when I actually watch a movie off my watchlist, instead of renting ANACONDA or some shit.

Watched 1991's DOGFIGHT for the first time last night. Incredible River Phoenix performance, so subtle, nuanced, and natural. Lili Taylor destroys. And it's a beautiful portrait of a moment in time.

Is dere a dog dat fights udder dogs

Is this a sneak preview of TROPIC THUNDER 2? www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwSt...

I resent Noah Kahan for being a wildly more successful half-Jewish songwriter named Noah who loves dogs. In his defense, I had 17 years to get ahead of him and I didn't do it.

I have an idea for a show called "Noah Gittell Plays His Hits," where I walk on stage with my guitar and simply stare at the audience for an hour.

Not everything has to be a fucking debate.

I am going to assume Soderbergh was kidding about the AI thing - just like he was kidding about the "I'm retiring" thing.

I share a birthday with Kristen Stewart, Hugh Hefner, Elle Fanning, and Dennis Quaid. It sounds like a pretty awkward dinner party.

“We propose to settle all the difficulty of the Dred Scott Decision by putting it into the Constitution. If a man is not a citizen of the country in which he is born, in God’s name of what country is he a citizen? If he may not live there, where has he a right to live?“

I know cinema is in bad shape because there hasn’t been a good “what are you gonna do with your share of the loot” scene in a while.

I gotta say: It speaks to how far our standards have fallen that the film community is celebrating PROJECT HAIL MARY as a triumph of original filmmaking. It's based on a book, and it's derivative of better sci-fi films in a hundred different ways.

There has never been a show I liked but wanted to read about *less* than The Pitt. I don't understand why there's so much discourse about it. Just watch and enjoy. That's your only job!

This is all reminding me of a conversation I had recently with an old friend who works in tech and extremely gung-ho about AI. When I told him about my process for writing a long New Yorker piece, he was absolutely sure that AI could make it more "efficient." / www.theguardian.com/books/2026/m...

No shit. He's a white supremacist.

It's time for another tax rebellion.

Stephen Miller demanded that ICE-holes “force confrontations” with protesters because “anti-ICE could not be viewed as successful.” He repeatedly said that protesters “need to be vanquished by any force necessary.” Later, ICE-holes murdered Alex Pretti. #ProudBlue #StephenMiller #FuckICE #AlexPretti

The cub is just being pragmatic. The helium in that balloon is worth something!

Meanwhile, back at Twitter dot com

The only person I want to de-age is Elena from Billy on the Street

Movies were always gonna be fine. They're not as popular as they once were, but they're still being made, and people are still watching them. We just like to worry.

I dislike the new ABS challenge system, and I dislike replay review. Bad calls are part of the game, and part of life. We should learn to allow them. It will be a far greater satisfaction.

Why didn't Elena from Billy on the Street ever get her own show?

So many people are doing life wrong. You're holding on too tight. Don't collect physical media. Don't deny the process of aging. Don't treat every death as a tragedy. We are here to learn to let go.

I don't like making predictions, but it's Opening Day, so: AL Division Winners: Yankees, Tigers, Mariners AL WCs: Royals, Red Sox, Rangers NL Division Winners: Phillies, Cubs, Dodgers NL WCs: Mets, Brewers, Reds ALCS: Mariners over Yankees NLCS: Cubs over Phillies World Series: Mariners

Every time I hear the name J.J. Wetherholt I think of this guy.

PROJECT HAIL MARY is about how young people need to have kids to save the world. It's basically BIG DADDY in space. Elon Musk will love it.

What's a song that lowers your blood pressure when you listen to it? My list: The Only Living Boy in New York (S&G) Clay Pigeons (Blaze Foley) Harvest Moon (Neil Young) Flying (Beatles) Memphis (Milk Carton Kids) Long Monday (Prine) Corrina, Corrina (Dylan)

It's amazing how much online content is devoted to guessing or predicting what might happen. Let's just try to live in the present, people.

I got some cool news today. BASEBALL: THE MOVIE earned out its advance. I am deciding this means the book was a success. Thank you very much.

People who think PTA's best movie is LICORICE PIZZA are the coolest people.

I feel great that there are still Billy on the Street's I haven't seen. www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxEs...

Their slogan should be, "Where no one gets laid - ever!"

I honestly think these American players are the biggest phonies around. Any one of them could have joined the military at 18. Instead, they chose to get rich and then cosplays as soldiers during a sports tournament.

Being an American baseball fan sucks. I'll never feel this way if the Mets win a World Series, and I can't even bring myself to root for America.

Michael B. Jordan is the Michael Jordan of people named Michael Jordan who aren't Michael Jordan.