-goes out like r budd dwyer -goes out like r budd dwyer -shits self to death (on tv like r budd dwyer) -goes out like r budd dwyer

Type of thing that’s playing on the tv while a gambler gets shot in the face

Feel like fka twigs should make a kate bush album again

Need to make sure I have the proper clothes and an umbrella when I go to Japan, otherwise I could catch a cold approximately 6 hours after getting slightly wet and then the teacher will tell my friend who I secretly have a crush to check on me and they will see me in such an embarrassing state!!

::me at the kinder bueno offices:: we need to spend 5 million dollars on a super bowl ad

Lmfao

I would be very surprised if a full accounting in the future didn't reveal more than one mass grave at the detention centers. If they're behaving this way in public, what's happening out of sight must be many times more brutal.

This is like that V/H/S short that Alex Ross Perry made

I think the whole tech industry is basically fake at this point. How does time on device make you more money? I don’t know that it does. It just seems like a number you can juice by making your product more addictive so you can attract investment.

I think if you’re a tv/movie studio or a game developer and you say stuff like, “we’re competing with TikTok and Facebook” you should be set loose in the wilderness. I think that way of thinking has been really ruinous for society.

Starfleet Academy AKA New-Trek Apology Tour

Morality plays about revenge are so funny dude like bro I’m chillin

An underrated part of American culture is the subconscious belief that if you can just make yourself stupid enough you can get into heaven through the door babies use

Starfleet academy looks so ass, man. Just do a normal one

Fort Lauderdale…… the Venice of America

GUY THEY PUT IN CHARGE OF CUTTING ALL THE BOOKS A YEAR OR TWO AGO: you gotta put some spice on it. Dutch em up. Hey, you seen any terry gilliam pictures?

errm... does it say anything about how it affects driving? asking for a friend

ME: I’ve acknowledged that the central twist—really the premise—of Horizon Zero Dawn is interesting but it’s hardly original. JOANNA NEWSOM: For example, Star Trek: The Next Generation S1E20, Arsenal of Freedom ANDY SAMBERG: they even borrowed the opening sequence from that episode ME: all right

I know it’s not this. I promise I know this. But Ys by Joanna Newsom has always seemed to me to be a concept album about what if there was a farm girl whose father was just hired to build a railroad by the Minas Tirith Works Progress Administration

Banner year for geographers: google maps to be updated to incorporate newly-discovered commonwealth nation where they say it like “shays gutter hobbit ahh spunk loy chont”

Whenever people go to the mat for fandom and say things like “I met my friends through fandom, it’s a space for queer people” and stuff like that, I really get profoundly sad. Whole segments of culture just co-opted into being street teams

Never seen a fumble like on the celebrity traitors. Absolutely could not believe the series of misplays at the end. Your evidence for someone being a traitor cannot be that they voted traitors out. You have to assume they vote in blocs.

I hope it becomes so popular that the full apparatuses of the state and financial sector are marshaled to make rean schwarzer real and then put him to death

Zoomers be like “dialogues”

UH OH. looks good but UH OH www.youtube.com/watch?v=djXq...

It's that time of the year again

wake up dead man is good, dude. it's a good fair play whodunit. only thing it was missing is a challenge to the audience to pause and solve it first.

No idea what’s in the piece but isn’t this a pretty obvious nod to the bubble popping?

George w bush in the cockpit???

deciding to go good riddance mode: perhaps now we can get a first baseman who can field

Clicking on the “Homework” folder on Kurvitz’s laptop and inside there’s a second folder called “porn” and inside that there’s a third folder called “assets for game if we win court case”

I’ve been having persistent vertigo ever since getting new glasses and I discovered that it goes away if I rest them like a quarter of the way down my nose. So I look like a huge idiot

guy in NL's chat who insists that "deep throat meant something different back then"

the boring twenties

saying something like "I DNF'd a book" is deranged to me.

what the fuck

Was watching the latest NL plays Bandle video and at one point he notices that from like 2023 onward he recognizes songs again. I was like, well they stopped makin em for a while

had a terrifying experience last night. awoke to a presence at the foot of my bed. could only move once it commanded me to carve a bunch of strange symbols onto my arm. i woke up and they were there. i ran to the bathroom mirror which showed them clearly: "piss tape real" what's that about

One time we were comin up with funny personal email addresses for famous authors and someone said “[email protected]” and that shit brought the house down. Still do a little sharp exhale when I think of it

I know who you are pal. You watched that episode of pluribus and thought the romantasy pastiche didn’t sound like something that people could believably like. Then you learned that the first draft was about lesbians. I know all about you.

I would rather lay my head next to a car tire and pay someone to put it in first gear my dude

i just don't think anyone has a problem with dialogue options, man. people love picking out shit to say.

18 hours after you get the call that grandma's in the hospital

Pluribus is real xfiles hours people.

haaahaha i spelled the answer to the first question of today's catfishing without looking up shit. barely even remember how that shit goes

the ongoing republican crash out is insanely funny dude. theyre like 'hold on dude WHAT?? i thought we were based and silent majority? What.. what"

Lmao nullification. Beast mode

Dr. Oz seems to be a real doctor, immediately rushes to help the guy (still sucks). RFK Jr bolts like he discovered an IED

He’s wandering