So turns out consistently not eating and not sleeping works AGAINST studying not WITH it….

How is it possible for my ribs to be this prominent but I still feel so huge what is happening it’s never been this bad I’m literally back at my formerly ideal weight

Shouldve purged last night I feel like I gained five pounds

I never know when I should purge and when I should just leave myself be atp I’m gonna use one of those spin the wheel apps

Body dysmorphia is hitting so hard rn I just bodychecked in the mirror and could’ve sworn I looked exactly the same 10lbs ago

Goddamn you, costco european cookie tin

I can count my ribs from my back to my chest + I can wrap my thumb and ring finger around my wrist again I’m so joyous

Bc from today:) My camera can never pick up my ribs I swear they’re kinda there:( I’m losing the lbs I gained surprisingly easily thank goodness (but also eek I hope it stays like this for at least until my bday).

I’ve never been this dizzy and super weak after purging and now I’m a little scared I’m so sad I can’t just appreciate how quick and easy of a purge session that was

Accidentally almost told some friends that I exclusively drink sugar free drinks cuz I can't justify the calories 😐 I cut myself off and expertly trailed off into a different sentence

Sneezing in the quiet section of my school library is so humiliating don’t look at me

Another all nighter full of math and reading… Sugar free original monster save me… save me sugar free original monster….

My parents wanna start cooking me nice dinners tell me why one serving of this fuckass bread bowl soup is 1200+ calories I did not fast all day just to eat nearly my entire bmr in one sitting

Every time I think about a man this next month I have to do 20 pushups, 5 pull ups, 5 chin ups, 20 crunches, and 20 leg lifts I’ve been doing it for a day and I feel so much better (everything hurts)

I broke my fast with half a bagel, half a tbsp of peanut butter and half of a smoothie my mom made me… and then rlly wanted a piece of the brownies I made for thanksgiving, ate too much, and it upset my stomach so bad I needed to purge everything so all is well I feel zero guilt

Good news I’m shaking and I’m dizzy asf whew

Nvm I’m delusional ts tastes like battery acid (I will be eating my words the next time I’m at a gas station)

I ate so much on thanksgiving that I fasted all of yesterday and still didn’t have hunger pains this is so embarrassing for me I’m going another day

Im getting super addicted to the sugar free juneberry redbull which is super unfortunate bc my evil ex was obsessed with redbull and I can’t look at one without thinking about him (we’re chill now but he still lied to me for six months 🙂)

Wait I’m grounded for thanksgiving break but this might be the perfect opportunity to fast for a couple days straight

I miss fasting I miss aching from hunger and feeling lighter on my feet

I’m high and I binged a lil so now I have to decide whether or not I wanna purge high

It was so silly of us we were talking in history and being like “yeah… i miss drinking…. 👀… i miss it a lot…. 👀… wish i could have some more…. 👀” for like 20 minutes before I finally asked if it was weird that I wanted to drink with him again and he was SO relieved that I brought it up

The first place I lose fat is around my ribs that thought is fueling my restriction rn

I’ve actually stopped purging (yay) but I think that’s what made it so that I lost so much so quickly and now I just feel sad and gross

We fixed things and we wanna drink together again I’m secretly hoping he’ll get just as protective and touchy as last time this is so unhealthy

I have to lock in the gaining isn’t funny anymore

Whaaaat….im not in a binge cycle…. im bulking!!! this isn’t a binge cycle….

No updates with eating I’ve been slacking lately but also told by everyone (therapists) to tell my parents (never gonna happeeenn) but last night my boy bsf and I got drunk off our asses and kissed (after he threw up… I love that man way too much) and now I’m terrified I screwed everything up

Moment of truth tmrw I lost a bunch and then maintained for a few weeks wish I lost more but at least I didn’t gain!!!!!!!!

Ended at 31.5hrs cuz I have a shit ton of cleaning and studying to do but this is the most I’ve done in a whiiiiiile so it’s a win anyway

24hrs down cuz I got home and immediately passed out for 12 of them 😛

I lost the plot this weekend and Halloween is in four days so I’m fasting for as long as possible (aiming for Wednesday morning but we’ll see)

It was so nice and pretty omg but so confusing:/ we held hands the whole way up and the whole way down, and on the drive back he sang along to something in your mouth by nickelback… it was a little hot I’m a little bit in love I hate him

Waiting on my boy bsf to ask if he can take the car so we can drive up to the mountains and relax:3

My esophagus is so fucked purging followed by tequila ouchie

I go to the nurse, it’s closed?? I get sent to the front office, and the lady at the desk thinks it’s funny that I didn’t eat lunch and I’m complaining about being dizzy girl shuuut uuuuppp just let me rest u don’t know me

Why does my dad even come out with me and my mom if he’s just gonna mope, get way too pissed at underpaid teenagers, and get mad at me when I tell him he shouldn’t antagonize a honking driver when he’s not even the one driving???? Plz get your shit together!!!! You’re a grown man!!!!!!!!

I GOT A 97 ON MY PHYSICS QUIZ GUYS:3 Also went to my physics teachers advisory for some help today and he was so sweet I was so out of it and couldn’t think straight enough to answer so many of his questions he was so graceful and patient I love him

ok so getting way too real she asked if I want her to tell my parents about my purging like what do u think??? straight up js gonna start lying to u and saying shits getting better

gonna try to skip last period and go to the school psychologist instead i cannot stay awake for another class save me

My forearms are huge in my bcs bc I lift btw I’m just too beefy (/j) I hate and love it at the same time

Purge sesh followed by an all nighter with these videos in the bg best decision ive ever made (im gonna pass out in the middle of my physics class)

Hot dentist complimented my teeth and then asked if I brush hard bc my enamel is a little worn whoops the mia is catching up to me

Feeling wonderful

I’ve lost 10lbs since the end of last month so I’m getting drunk and eating like a normal person today to celebrate 🎉

Me when consistently eating less than I should actually makes me consistently lose more weight

I tripped and scraped my knee the night of hoco and the bruise still hurts like hell it’s been a week and a half FREE ME

I’m seriously considering relapsing into sh I know exactly where I’d do it I just soooo hate the idea of ruining 3 whole years of being clean:(