Lost 2kg 🥳 idfk where my appetite went I think it’s pure self hatred whew

My dad never fails to be in a bitchy mood when I’m not and vice versa this house is a prison

My back hurts so bad too many bus trips this week owiewoiowowie

I’ve eaten like two full meals spread out this entire week not even on purpose I’m so DEAD I can feel my ribs again but I’m fighting for my life on this toilet HELP ME

Everything’s fine I went out with my hg gossiped bought a shit ton of nail polish met a couple super drunk guys at a bus stop and gave them my leftovers and smoked I’m so nic sick but still super high like an hour later worth it LMAO

How about instead of having a moral awakening you COMMIT TO YOUR OBLIGATIONS AND WINE AND DINE MEEEEEE

Im being cockblocked by the universe This is the sixth time I need to do a tarot reading

GUESS FUCKING WHAT

I have a lunch date tomorrow… it’s gonna happen let’s all hold hands and chant… he won’t cancel… he won’t cancel

What chemical imbalance does sobbing for 40 minutes because of being canceled on for tje millionth time indicate I’m so fucking tired why cant we just like not make everything so difficult TELL ME ITS A NO PRIORRR TO THE TIME WE SET???

Accidentally doing a dry fast today. Was supposed to see a guy this morning (and maybe get food) so I didn’t eat Ended up at my friends house waiting on a different friend to get off work (and also possibly get food) but it’s looking like maybe she’s busy?

Why on earth would a gay man call me good girl I’m ready to blow my shit clean off hello hello what

Do meds actually work or am I just swallowing 50 billion pills every morning for fun

Dad made pancakes and eggs probably in a shit ton of oil and butter I ate a tiny little bit and now I’m fighting for my life on the toilet bc my body isn’t used to this crap help help help ow ow owow ow

Confirmed activities in a four star hotel confirmed (post lunch date) car make out sesh life is good life is good 🙏

I need to get back to my lw I wanna make out and grind on a guy without worrying about his hands on my fucking waist/stomach/thighs kill me

I need a cigarette

i cant fucking stand myself i need to get worse

I feel like I have no one to be fully myself with because who I really am is js off putting/dangerously self destructive I always start out slow, they can take it, n we’re good talking about wtv until one day they js stop interacting with what I’m saying/act more judgmental than ever before

Platonic bf is back!!!! Seeing him this weekend!!!! Seeing a friend who graduated tmrw!!!! I’m so behind in my summer classes!!!!! I didn’t sleep!!!! Was gonna do work but ended up fucking around!!!!!!! Shoot me!!!!

That’s a lie my platonic bf has been talking to me but he’s having fun on the east coast so I’m all alone for a few more days We have tons of fun plans for when he gets home I’m just in suspended animation until he gets here

It’s so bad the only people I’m consistently talking to recently are 40 year olds on tumblr/grindr someone put me out of my misery

I hate that my friends have lives why is everyone on vacation and unavailable to talk when I’m at home alone spiraling stuck in my room Chewing at the bars of my enclosure

Who let me have access to this fucking phone

I’m gonna start doing accountability posts not a thread cuz im too lazy for that but just like hey I went to the gym today!! Which I did I went to the gym today (cardio, back/bis) im shaking I think im gonna give myself an eating window of 5am-4pm but gym from 6-8

these pictures haunt my fucking dreams oh my gaaawwwddd i’m getting back there i’m getting back there 🙏

no italy btw cuz my parents want me to die i guess

hi everyone…

Hate my dad my dad hates me I need a cigarette

Eating is good but I’m cutting lots again one thing to the next ffs man can I catch a break! So behind in school and the only men that care enough about me to check in are my teachers, my counselor, and the creeps in my tumblr dms

On another note: I’m doing pretty well in recovery!! Today was my meal prep day, and this time I didn’t have an anxiety attack while looking at the amount of food I was making! A win is a win. Weight is being gained, but I don’t feel like dying about it

I have henna on top of the scars on my forearm of the bite marks of my ex boyfriend (who I thought I’d never talk to again) and my ex situationship (who I thought I would marry one day) life is crazy

Hi guys in recovery and going to study fine art in italy in july life is worth liviiiing!!!!! however I did go to my first funeral this month and i am disgustingly behind in school because of it all good all good everything’s gonna be fine

Nvm I still feel like shit I’m fasting today and going straight back to my high res/gym routine bleeeehhh

Wait tell me how I’ve been pigging out w my hg for three days straight and managed to maintain my weight from before she got here….

I'm on my period please please please run me over

Was like 1 lb above my lw and then I went to a bday party and now im 4 lbs heavier + im on my period ik its temporary and I shouldn’t give up/make it worse but oh my godddd

how to get better without being vulnerable?????

Picrewww yyeeesss

1kg away from my lw 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Holaaay molaaaayy I slipped up a few days ago and I switched up my method and now im just not tracking/im grossly overestimating calories and omading and IM BACK TO MY WEIGHT IN THAT BC YEESSS

Who knew the best appetite suppressant would be chugging a hot coffee and then watching a girl on reels make savory jello shots literally pickled everything that shit looks disgusting im going to barf

I WANNA BE A SEXY MAN I WANNA BE A SEXY MAN WHO CONFUSES OTHER MEN AND I WANNA EMOTIONALLY DESTROY THEM ALL WITH MY BEAUTY AS A MAN

Looking at this occasionally to feel bad about losing even a little bit of my progress sigh

Having an off day/being stupid in front of my favorite teacher has its benefits cuz now the embarrassment has motivated me to never eat again

Im becoming close friends with this rlly gorgeous skinny girl in my class we’re talking abt drinking/smoking together and comparing love lives she’s so fun and its motivating me to get back to my lw this is so good

Trying to track every day till my hg visits on March 4th cuz she’s perfect and comparison will be the death of me:(( this was yesterday and today