wish i could smoke so bad rn dude omg

lol i ate and put my knee brace on nvm i feel fine now

sitting in the back seat of my moms car literally on the edge of tears. i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this. im in pain and frustrated and i want to break this piece of shit with a hammer. maybe if it's pinned together it'll learn how to work properly.

still in the process of moving and oh my god i moved a few boxes and put a shelf together now my leg hurts i wanna cry i hate chronic pain. it's not even that bad it's just so frustrating that im 20 and such simple things do this.

having to be stuck with one smoke at night and nothing on the weekends actually will make me go insane

nic withdrawal making me unbelievably restless right now

good morning i am so tired

i have this strange compulsion to hide my identity. like me and my friend want to start streaming and i just have this desire to do that

im so sorry for whatever i post today i am very sleep deprived

what is it about balaclavas and/or tac gear that make dudes on the internet wanna sit legs wide open, pussy facing the world like 😭😭😭

i need a fucking smoke dude omg

sorry if i post a lot i just have a lot of feelings right now

my moms gonna stop drinking because of what happened to my uncle. im currently crying my eyes out because it can't take her away too anymore. it can't find her and steal her from me.

all i wanna do is eat and sleep. i hate this

canadian moment lol

why does addiction keep taking people from me? i don't understand why it has to estrange or kill people i care about.

I look so fat and ugly and stupid im disgusting im so humiliated

my uncle died yesterday. idk what to do about it

do i a) quit nic all together b) spend my last bit of cash on it or secret third option) switch back from vaping to cigs because they're cheaper

yet again I am out of vape juice. and my pods burnt as shit too.

i keep thinking about my brother. i would rather not but here i am, thinking about how addiction is going to steal another person from me. it doesn't help he's also an asshole but the two are unrelated

officially have my pot license guys lets goooo i can work at the pot shop now

i hate than i stress eat. ive eaten so much in the past few days kill me

ootd

getting dressed for my interview and i feel fat and dysphoric. great

i have another interview today

SHE INTRODUCED ME TO OUR NEW NEIGHBOUR AS MY ACTUAL NAME HOLY SHIT.

my mom just called my him. she was talking to a cashier and said "i bribed him with a coffee" this is a win but im gonna cry she's never done that before. 🥲🥲

i didn't binge today yippee

"mental heath matters" until ive genuinely done evil disgusting shit in the past that i can never talk about or you will never see me the same again

my stomach hurts. and i can't tell if it's stress, lack of sleep, hunger or a mysterious fourth thing

god my accounts a fuckin' shitshow. it's like the worlds worst lottery. yall open bsky and it's like "will spencer be rambling about random shit or will he be suicidal" 😭😭😭

no sleep, runnin' on pure stress-induced adrenaline

im gonna be a huge nerd for a minute guys alr because i NEED to share my interests or i'll explode so hears a this i guess youtu.be/fK-msJg6BEw?...

i love that because of game engine limitations f nv the gameplay is basically "haha fully ragdoll" but the lore is like ww2

time to not sleep at play video games for 8 hours because im too upset to relax

i should be able to make 90 bucks by monday, so at least i'll have a tiny bit of padding.

i wanna get drunk. but i don't have the money.

the job i interviewed for is 8am - 4pm and idk how i'm gonna flip my sleep schedule if i manage to get it. but i hope i do. i can handle sleep deprivation

i don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight. aka i need something to do or i'll lose it.

life really just keeps kicking me in the nuts

my moms taking me to the gun range some time soon which honestly does sound kinda fun

i used to hate him. and i still do on some level but for different reasons. idk man. i thought he changed. i thought he was different. i thought i had my big brother back but i was wrong.

my parents are my only family now, and i don't know how to cope with that because i really, really thought everyone else would come around. but i guess their bigotry matters more to them.

my mom finally realized my brother is a lost cause. it hurts to see her cry when i stopped having hope for him years ago.

got 38 dollars to my name rn and I desperately need that job i interviewed for dude

my interview is in 45 minutes.

nose finally stopped bleeding thank fuck

and a nosebleed. apparently i've just been swallowing blood all morning and not realizing it. now my stomach hurts 😭

woke up with a wicked headache and a cough