PAIN. FOR FUCKS SAKE. knees bothering me again

was fucking around and taking pics and DAMN.

to clarify: I PROMISE I AM NOT A DANGER TO SOCIETY PLS DONT REPORT MY ASS FOR TS 😭🙏🏼

sometimes im scared i'm gonna hurt someone one day

WHY ARE CAMERAS SO EXPENSIVE

sometimes i post stuff before i realise how autistic it sounds

good morning i woke up at a reasonable goddamn hour today thank christ

tired and losing my mind to not fall asleep. music keep me awake PLEASE

i am so tired holy fuck but i can't fall asleep yet because i don't wanna wake up at midnight again 😭😭😭

my roman empire is this guy i went to hs with that i saw on instagram about two years after grad, newly married with a bible verse tattoo on his arm. during school he went by she and we all called her Joanne.

dawg i took a nap at 6pm and woke up at fucking midnight wtf. one all nighter last week and my sleep schedule is absolutely COOKED now

i have a temper. and i'm never putting a child through it. i'm not fit to be a father and that makes me really fucking sad sometimes ig

sometimes i day dream about being a dad and then remember i'm not right in the head. i'd be so terrified everyday of hurting them one way or another.

learning* lmao i am not smart enough to figure it out this fast

ok nap time

learned animation and coding because i need to create or i will die

feeling violently nauseous and also hungry even tho the smell of food makes me sick today

it is taking every ounce of willpower in me currently to not puke on my mothers car upholstery right now

every smell is making me nauseous right now wtf

stole 4 dollars for the purposes of fuelling my nic habit lmao

dude my sleep schedule is so weird rn

yet another sleepless night. gonna sleep for a bit in my couch later o think

and it's not even for any real reason. it's not because of nightmares or the fear of them, it's not pure insomnia, i just...dont sleep.

my new routine apparently is wake up between 1-3am (if i sleep at all) take a nap around 1pm then crash at 9pm (again, if i sleep at all) and only get a few hours

no sleep. my tummy hurts.

my sleep schedule has been so inconsistent.

i feel like a chunk of rotten meat zlowly decompozing in the back of the fridge

my mom made eggs and every time i leave my room the smell makes me gag so hard i may actually vomit in my hallway

was gonna peacefully listen to music and write but my bitchass cat hates when i a) wear headphones b) close my bedroom door and c) do anything that requires my attention so now i must sit with him while he looks out my window lmao

Happy international women's day ✨️💕✨️💕💖✨️💕 I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!

i either wake up at 3am or 3pm there's absolutely no in-between bro 😭

woke up at the absolutely ungodly hour or 3:45am

might take a solid couch nap later idk

don't mind me posting about my trauma lolll

my parents haven't had a shouting match like that since i was in highschool (i think?) but i'm still scared. it's like this knee jerk reaction. i hear her upset about something and my entire body is jumping to crawl into whatever small space i can find and hide.

what's crazy is my dad's lwk kinda transphobic and i'll take that shit over the literal pants-shitting fear i feel in my bones when I hear my mother frustrated about anything in the world.

everytime i find myself up early in the morning with my father i think about how my life would've probably been so much better if my parents had never gotten back together

my dads off muttering about my mom again my god man stfu. i get it. she sucks sometimes. i am also her son and have been for 20 years. u aren't perfect either man

monster acquired guys

9am, haven't slept and i lwk feel like i'm decomposing but whatever

im so tired holy shit

i'm so tired

cant sleep. im such a disappointment. im a failure. it's all my fault. cant wake up at 3pm again.

wasn't supposed to see 14 and yet here i am at 20, still very much out of love with life.

i don't know why i'm alive anymore.

great im fucking crying again!!

my mental health has been in a bit of a tailspin but my friends shouldn't have to worry about me lol

been having more and more terrible days lately

how do i stop being so terrified of anything

i have a splitting headache rn