Final season always sucks.

I wasn't wondering.

Hey, 'member last summer where we were like 'oh wow, shit is fucked!' and all that? Good times.

I wonder if the reason fools wield so much power is that those wise enough to understand what is required to do it well run screaming in the other direction.

Sweaty Sax Guy says he can't make it to Freedom 250

This is the part of the interrogation when the small child, covered in frosting and crumbs, still insists he did not eat the cake and since there is no cake, you can't prove anything. Except the cake is pedophilia.

Kite, flying. Swallow-tailed, specifically. #BirdOfTheDay #NegativeSpace

Falling apart like the rides after a fair-wide carny meth bender.

Teenagers are busy little humans who have only recently become self-aware and have decided to make that everyone's problem.

The Democratic Party's tendency towards self-sabotage is a direct result of the lack of an effective and good faith interlocutor on important matters of public policy.

They lit themselves on fire, and now, somehow, they expect us to dance around the flames.

Don't fuck with Tom. He'll cut a bitch.

Venomous. RFK Jr's policies are poisonous, snakes are venomous.

I deserve better enemies than this.

AI is a direct result of the prevalent attitude in STEM fields of "fuck the humanities". Yeah, good strategy, fellas. Never bothered to imagine that the humanities will fuck you right back. With experience, grace and forceful vengeance motherfuckers.

Look, either it was an incredibly insightful post that exposes a deep analysis of the circumstances and people involved, or it was a joke. Those are your options.

"Hey, I'm sure there are lots of people that care about that, how about you go find them?" Putting that one in the snark bank, maybe it will accrue interest.

What is the deal with the boob accounts? Get comments like "Oh, what a great take!" and "Wow, never thought of it like that" and then you check and all their posts are scantily clad pics with one boob pic pinned. Got to have better comments, boobs will only take you so far on bluesky.

Just heard Steve Schmidt compare the Democratic party to a lifeboat on the Titanic - not anything anybody wanted and only gets picked because it's better than the alternative and I can't believe how accurate that is. So smug they saved us they treat the damned thing like its a luxury yacht.

Try to make friends with your shadow, for who else knows you best?

Conan's staff trying to get him on edibles has got to be one of the best low-key subplots happening in showbiz right now.

I used to think that I wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but it turns out, I'm just not that good at standing around.

The Fall of America was always an inevitability. At least this way, we get to blame it on one guy instead of grappling with the systemic issues that produced him.

This is a nearly perfect moment to finally make the sequel to Buckaroo Banzai. I mean, we have an actual World Crime League. Original cast is a little old, but that is a problem for casting directors and internet nerds to figure out.

The other day I heard on a podcast that the US is "a collection of norms in a trenchcoat" instead of an actual functioning government. Great idea, I mean, what could go wrong?

This era is going to be future historians' "the Simpsons already did it".

There is no relief in the desert Only sand and despair You must bring that which is vital

The difference between a cult and a religion is time and popularity.

The GoP is really taking "women and children first" in an entirely inappropriate way.

Breaking - Tulsi Gabbard resigns, says she wants to spend more time with her cult leader in the motherland.

If this thing popped out of a gargoyle mama, she'd choke the life out if it before the abomination escaped the den.

But sometimes it's the dubstep cover and we all have to talk about how much we hate it.

When you see a giant ball of shit rolling down the stairs and crushing everyone before it, do not be amazed at it's power and strategy. Be not surprised that a giant piece of shit can defeat those nobler of spirit and stronger of character. However, do try to take note of who pushed it up there.

Christ, it's like Chevy Chase in the green room.

The surprising part is not that the US is now being led by an ignorant, vulgar pedophile. The surprising part is that the owners thought this was a good move on their part.

I know that 'nazi' is a convenient label for them, but the more I think about it, the less it seems to apply. Nazis had a plan, organization, a coherent ideology. Not to mention a fabulous sense of style. These magats have none of these things. These aren't even Temu nazis.

What is this 'spare chocolate' you speak of? I am unfamiliar with that concept.

The US is a perfectly normal country, with a perfectly normal government and chock full of completely normal people. Normal people. Normal.

There is a joke here, but I'm not going to make it because that would be some real white boy shit.

Holy Shit, Billy Butcher is the Punisher if he worked with other people. Really should not have taken until the finale for me to work that out.

Enable 2FA, folks.

Think before you post, or you are no better than an LLM. 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘺 𝘏𝘶𝘭𝘶, 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘺, 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘈𝘞𝘚, 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘰𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘉𝘦𝘳𝘬𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘝𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘎𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱.

Can I apply to the new fund for my Trump Derangement Syndrome?