I will be pre-ordering this and really need for you to, as well.

Hi again! Hourly reminder to primary them!! At whatever is the next opportunity!

Friends, I have done the unthinkable and rejoined 3 math societies with the goal of productively fucking shit up. I have set an initial 1 year time horizon for myself and when that alarm clock goes off I will assess if progress has been made or if it has been a waste and made me feel terrible.

Good morning to everyone who needs a reminder to primary them all! (And to everyone who already reminded themselves.)

I pray for a swift end of the political consultant class.

If these 8 democrats do this, I hope they experience the most miserable primary campaigns in history www.politico.com/live-updates...

Sounds like the squishes in the senate caucus are ready to pull the plug with no ACA changes. This is real. If you want to register your opinion you shld call yr senator in the next hour. They not only want to reopen w/nothing. They want cover from their colleagues who still want to hold out.

Now that the election is over and I don't have to worry about my VAST INFLUENCE swaying things, am I allowed to just come out and say that Zohran Mamdani is mega effing hot?

Controversial life spitballing here: should I rejoin all the math societies I quit and use all means at my disposal unleash the full fury of my wokeism upon them?

What does a Scottish person with a UTI say while ziplining? "I canopy." You're welcome.

What does a Scottish person with a UTI say while ziplining? "I canopy." You're welcome.

The last thought to pass through my mind before I die in bed, desperately gasping for breath, will be: why are there so many dogs up in my face.

Classy. 👀 www.bbc.com/news/article...

Game time, bitches! Caroline Shaw's Entr'acte, Mozart Symphony #35, Schumann Symphony #4. Let's do this.

Who is Derek Thompson and how do we make him go away?

just thinking about billionaires panicking because all their money couldn't stop mamdani and that warms my heart

Eating cold leftover French fries and prednisone like a FUCKING BOSS

Make sure to send your kid to Cornell <checks notes> never. abcnews.go.com/amp/US/wireS...

New work on the economics of firearms with the inimitable @davidblakejohnson.bsky.social. I’m so privileged to learn from him!

Kid needed dinner delivered to him at school yesterday because he had a late tech rehearsal so I did what any dad would do and sent him texts like "Your DadDash driver is on the way. Please secure your pets," and then took a pic of me handing him the food and sent it to him for confirmation.

I’m assuming it’s Mamdani then Cuomo then that Jojo Siwa person or whatever their name is.

Fixed it.

Here’s a joke I just made up. You’re welcome. What does Number Six take for panic attacks? Clonazepam.

HAS THIS BEEN YOUR EXPERIENCE im screaming.

When you have adjusted to the time change but your dogs haven’t.

I am working on my zaddy vibe by trying, for the first time ever, to actually grow a beard. And man is this shit itchy.

In the same way people use passive language to mask culpability (“harm was done”) I would like to report that naps were taken.

Noting that last night, a Famous Person took me to be a student, and that I graciously replied by citing my skincare obsession, I will now answer all of your skin care questions, be they specific or general. For real. Chime in below.

I'm not going to say who, but last night, I was at a dinner with an Extremely Famous attorney. There was a mix of faculty, staff, students, etc. When I shook hands with the guest of honor, they asked me what I study here so MY SKIN CARE REGIMEN IS WINNING. Please clap.

we are to call him Regular Andrew now

Excited to announce that I have nothing exciting to announce.

It gets spicier, now covered in the campus paper. I am dismayed by my campus leadership ignoring many sensible solutions to problems that marginalize and exploit and oppress people. Curious if there are similar issues on y'all's campuses? #AcademicSky?

Fuck, and I cannot emphasize this enough, this.

Restless feeling, like I haven’t caused *nearly* enough trouble lately. 😬

I really enjoyed life before “notifications” were a thing.

As a Harvard alum who—when I was a student—got harassed by some a**holes from the Salient, I gotta say: love to see it.

Can't hear you over the screaming sound of my EMPTY INBOX

With the autumnal season well underway, I need to share my most controversial opinion: fruit should never be hot. Do not come at me with your apple pies or grilled pineapple or mulled cider or your anything else. The answer is: never.

Me, finishing editing my book's page proofs just now.

Drawing from the entire history of television, I can say confidently that there has never been a character that speaks to me more than Robot Chicken's Bitch Pudding.

Dear God, we write today to extend our gratitude for the public support of the gay agenda…

There's a relatively recent law in Florida that, for quite a few criminal offenses, sets standard bail amounts for charged individuals. I am really excited to have new funding from Arnold Ventures to investigate impacts of this law, including possible racial disparities.

Oh, my No alarm just went off. It's No o'clock, No-day, No-vember (uh, almost) twenty twenty-No.

Help! Question about journalists/journalism... to whom in that world do I want my publisher to send an advance copy of my book on data science + racial justice in the criminal legal system. Gratefully accepting suggestions below!

Holding a copy of my final page proofs in my hand and am beside myself in the best way. www.amazon.com/Unlocking-Ju...

Y'all people who work at colleges/universities... someone(s) on my campus is/are up to some spicy shit and I am LIVING FOR IT. #AcademicSky

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching hundreds upon hundreds of hours of Chicago Med, it’s that you never want the doctors JUST outside of your room. That is when your heart and/or breathing will stop and you will require emergency intervention. #RiskFactor

I feel like humankind’s crowning achievement is the salad spinner.

I know getting an academic job is hard and I know I am speaking from a place of privilege because I have one but I can't help feeling that accepting an academic job in a place like Texas is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very bad idea. www.kut.org/education/20...

How do we know that this horrific White House demolition/building project is not going to involve... adding in a bunch of spying stuff.