andymoney's tweet is great of course but this is my Baseball Tweet that is rent free forever, shoutout @nocartridge.bsky.social

Happy MLB Opening Day to all who celebrate!!!

Wish I had any talents for making videos because I'd make a hype reel for opening day of Brandon Belt's various faces taking a called 3rd strike set to My Hero.

I know I saw a bunch of Malcolm in the Middle episodes back in the day and liked it but we started watching it with our boy, who is 11 now, and that shit rocks, man. Just Francis and the Commandant is enough to make S1 a good show but everything else works too.

I have literally no idea what beliefs this man holds besides “I should be President”

damn this bitch sucks

Giants are taking a similar approach with the bullpen www.reddit.com/r/SFGiants/c...

Crazy how Trump manipulates the market to do insider trading starting every week of this war and Dems just don't talk about it. They're playing the long game hoping that, one day, they'll get to do the same thing I guess.

One of the many problems with Nazis is they're incredibly stupid.

RONALD REAGAN AGAIN AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Trump and friends are so dumb it's hard to be surprised anymore but this is just stunningly stupid.

I am so ready and excited to be mad about bullpen decisions in March regular season games.

They were seen doing it, there is video of it, and sfgate still puts "senator says" in there lmao

ngl I don't even know who the bench and bullpen guys are on the Giants, which is the least informed I've been since like 1997, but I'm so ready to be mad at them anyway!

I am not pointing this comment at anyone in particular, but: The TSA line has already been a fraught place for brown and Black travelers for as long as it has been around. The racism might get worse tomorrow, but it isn’t going to start tomorrow. That is all.

Love to see our freedom and free market capitalism at work!

What a remarkable complaint.

a fun fact that I will never tire of is that the brits cooked up the idea of a “vote of no confidence“ specifically to ditch the govt that lost the war against the US colonies, which is why our constitutional tradition doesn’t benefit from their innovation

Saxon is 20 years old lmfao.

The Mueller era was funny because a lot of centrists immediately clung on to him as their hero for being against Trump and then he did nothing but handles like Mueller She Wrote live on forever. Then those people didn't learn anything and have become Gavin Newsom stans lol.

Can't wait for 20 think pieces on how the left caused this by quoting Charlie Kirk's own words when Charlie died.

Damn Jessica I didn’t know you were so funny

I was thinking about how we're being awful to Cuba, again, and how hopefully our Dem leaders were already talking about it because it's a pretty easy issue to get right! Anyway

googoo dolls iris voice

You can tell that not enough LOTR guys are into fishing because Smeagol had a legit beef with Deagol for losing that monster. You don't get to lose the fish and keep the ring for yourself, man.

Immediately thought of this lol

We're doing all the "Iraq is killing babies" thing again or whatever aren't we

I'm cool with Eldridge not starting the year in the big leagues. It's not a time manipulation thing imo. His strikeout numbers are still pretty big.

There’s nothing Dems love more than throwing their most reliable voters under the bus in favor of people who would never cast a vote for them in a million years. And every single minority group that exists can tell you their own personal experience with this.

Clear protections against athletes and managers throwing games but not clear protections for athletes and coaches from the insane bettors.

every now and then he hits one from the logo

Perfect

I thought Tesla had a fake ass stock valuation (and they do) but I was curious about Meta, since they lit $80b on the metaverse lol), and with that announcement their stock is at $615 a share and only went down 1% today lol. Narnia is more real than either of those companies my God.

Liberals started the war on cars but Trump is finishing it 💪

Congrats to the Ohio Sheriff's Office for selflessly volunteering to educate the public on both The Streisand Effect and Why You Don't Fuck With A Dude Who Knows How To Play The Dozens For A Crowd in real time

legit lol

Dinosaurs have feathers was another pretty funny one in this regard.

thinking about the hero of this game for Team Venezuela, Eugenio Suárez, and his comments about ICE’s effect on Latino baseball players just last week

You guys are laughing. Paul Skenes almost was in the Air Force, and you're laughing.

An overconfident Team USA getting embarrassed by a much smaller country in front of a global audience is their last and most beautiful tribute to the American military yet

More like POO S A. This could be a baseball tweet or really for anything.

and people laughed when Bryce Harper decided to swap out his spinal fluid for raw milk

Since no one asked I am going to tell you anyways. Will Vest is my enemy bc they asked him a fun question about 90’s snacks and he talked about seed oils.

I think Aaron Judge sucks a lot because Derek Jeter sucked a lot.

Me and the boys are going to be hooting and hollering when they get to Job 3:14.

Had a thought and I am ready to be yelled at. U2 is the Brady Anderson of bands. They were solid, playable, but unspectacular. But then U2 put out The Joshua Tree while Anderson hit 50 homers in 1996. And then both went back to being solid but unspectacular again.

They’re telling me a great empire will be destroyed if I attack Persia. Even the oracles who don’t like me very much, very nasty, they all said to me, “Sir, it’s one of the great empires, and it’ll be destroyed. And all because you attacked Persia.” That’s what they’re telling me.

Service members are actually pretty consistent with making fun of people who almost served lol