Guess why I called myself both a sadist and masochist just now. A) I caused physical pain to myself and others B) I left the pizza box open instead of keeping it hot

Happy pride from your neighborhood he/him enby femboy who just looks like a girl and is okay with that for the moment

Day 29,568 of asking somebody out here to go successfully do the thing to that one guy.

It was short for Million Vanilli because that was the rolling average number of vanilli they had on a given day. You losers don’t even have one

A lot of nursery rhymes are problematic or depressing, but Hey Diddle Diddle’s just a fun night out with the bois.

Problem-solving for my Tomodachi Life island residents always makes me feel like one of those grandmas… “You’re sad?? Eat! Eat! Have some creamy stew and yangnyeom chikin. You’re too skinny!!”

accidentally grab a bottle if chic fil a sauce at the grocery store and a nazi armband starts forming on you until you put it back

Got a notification from a medieval copyright lawyer

the two most beautiful songs ever composed are 7 pm from animal crossing new leaf and rainbow road from mario kart 64

41 Years Old Now BTW

I took the pill that makes you feel nauseous and sleepy and now I feel nauseous and sleepy??? What is this sorcery

Do babies just instinctually want to eat airplanes and other aircraft? 🤔

The last two times I was walking by myself, in separate parts of the city, someone yelled out of their car at me. It happens to Alex too. Literally what possesses you to startle people who walk?? What is your actual problem???

SlimShots: #Eminem #f'djt

I need one person on this earth to explain to me what they enjoy about Blink 182 because I feel like I'm going insane

Shoutout to Brick from The Middle whispering things to himself related to what he just talked about because I did that as a kid and still do it sometimes. I just caught myself doing it. Representation is important lol.

Thundercat, on track 5 of his critically acclaimed 2017 album, "Drunk": 🎸 🐱 meow meow meow meow meow Me: *openly sobbing*

Chicken’t Noneggets (0) ): - @ajreborn.bsky.social

Just found out that Pepsi killed Michael Jackson??

Alex and I riffed and made this joke

The funniest text I’ve ever sent was when I was breaking up with my extremely toxic ex- he sent me a Toy Story Woody gif of him saying “So long, partner” teary eyed, so I sent back the Toy Story Buzz gif “You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity”. I’m still really proud of that joke.

Sometimes, the hits are hits for a reason: a thread. I rarely find myself only enjoying a band’s famous songs, so I was excited to sit down & listen to a band’s albums when I only ever listened to 3 of their songs prior. I adored & re-listened to those 3 countless times. This band is The Zombies.

Don’t meet your heroes- a lot of them do cocaine, and they may even make it look fun, but addiction runs in your family and you have anxiety, so it’s not like. The greatest idea, man.

depression feels like living in a world where cats can't have a little slommy

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 40): 225. Saved By Zero - The Fixx 226. I Got U - Selena Gomez & The Scene 227. All I Want - Toad the Wet Sprocket 228. Ezekiel 7 And The Permanent Efficacy Of Grace - The Mountain Goats 229. Sunday Best - Surfaces

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 6: Are you a tennis shoe? Because you're the only ten *I* shoe.

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 5: Gaclarbis. Shout "aaa" if you agree.

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 39): 220. First Few Desperate Hours - The Mountain Goats 221. American Boy - Estelle, Kanye West 222. One More Night - Maroon 5 223. Don’t Box Me In - Stewart Copeland, Stanard Ridgway 224. Oh Yeah! - Green Day

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 4: You're just mad that elves get little graham crackers at nighttime.

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 3: Fellas, is it gay to eat cheese?

Why say "right side up" when you can say "upside upright"? (Something I accidentally said stumbling for words)

People were getting off the bus Alex and I were riding without saying anything, and we had this exchange: Me: these people have never played Fortnite in their life Alex: it's not hard- you just press B

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 38): 214. bellyache - Billie Eilish 215. Misguided Ghosts - Paramore 216. The Modern Leper - Frightened Rabbit 217. Eleven (feat. Summer Walker) - Khalid 218. Face to Face - Daft Punk 219. Bring On The Night - The Police

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 2: What if you were gay, and God said, "Neat! Me too!"?

Intrusive (but not negative) thoughts that sound like shit I could post to bluesky, so I will, pt. 1: Magellan was a dude who did something and I think that's pretty okay.

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 37): 207. Boxing - Ben Folds Five 208. Good for You - Spacey Jane 209. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys 210. Grandma’s Hands - Bill Withers 211. Close to the Fires - The Samples 212. The Mollusk - Ween 213. Then She Appeared - XTC

I made @ajreborn.bsky.social into a tmbg scientist- pls enjoy 🐼🧪 #theymightbegiants #tmbg

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 36): 201. The Art of Peer Pressure - Kendrick Lamar 202. The Hounds of Winter - Sting 203. These Eyes - The Guess Who 204. Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore 205. Invisible - Danny Gonzalez 206. Daughter - Crash Helmet Kid

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 35): 194. Industry - Mire Kay 195. Down With The Fallen - STARSET 196. Feelin’ Low (Fuckboy Blues) - Peach Pit 197. BLOODMONEY - Poppy 198. When I’m Gone - Dirty Honey 199. Fields of Sorrow - Orden Ogan 200. Birthday - The Sugarcubes

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 34): 188. You’re Standing On My Neck - Splendora 189. COPYCAT - Billie Eilish 190. Girls On Film - Duran Duran 191. Symphony No. 3 - Louise Farrenc 192. Fucking Boyfriend - the bird and the bee 193. Money - That Poppy

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 33): 184. Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends Theme Song - James L. Venable 185. Golden Dream - Snail Mail 186. Love 2 Hate Me - Crash Helmet Kid 187. Midsummer Madness - 88rising, Joji, Rich Brian, Higher Brothers, AUGUST 08

Judging people for their Spotify because I also know shitty music is fun

Just woke up to a dream that was just me as a kid dancing around a room to old music by myself pretending I was at a dance or a club with a bunch of friends, because I used to do that a lot. Being lonely sucks. ...also dream me was dancing to Forever - Chris Brown and now I want Doublemint Gum /:

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 32): 179. circle the drain - Soccer Mommy 180. Shampoo Bottles - Peach Pit 181. You Used To Say (Holy Fuck) - The Front Bottoms 182. death bed (coffee for your head) - Powfu feat. beabadoobee 183. You Don’t Know Anything - ivy

"stick to menswear"

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 31): 172. I Get The Message - ivy 173. When I’m Small - Phantogram 174. Pristine - Snail Mail 175. Miss Glum & The Pursuit of Falling - Gus Dapperton 176. Irresistible - Fall Out Boy 177. Black Licorice - Peach Pit 178. Vinta - Crumb

Well. I mean....

im begging you to listen to how this fox news host pronounces “authoritarianism”

Song suggestions from my discord statuses over the years (pt. 30): 167. The Taste of Ink - The Used 168. notice me (feat. BENEE) - ROLE MODEL 169. Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires - Cocteau Twins 170. Atomic (Diddy’s 12” Mix) - Blondie, Diddy 171. Tallahassee - The Mountain Goats

@ajreborn.bsky.social encouraged me the other day that my instagram caption idea of "man man homosapien man" and a picture of my genderfluid trans man -ass face was in fact very funny while I was still trying to come up with a better variation that doesn't exist. Thank you, Alex. I needed that.