If you struggle emotionally with awkward grow-out phases like I do, I highly recommend dyeing your hair bright colors. It makes every cut and style look 10x more intentional.

I haven't cut my undershave in ages and I went ahead and bleached and dyed it, and I think right now it's giving "pastel Kate Gosselin" which I don't love. But I'm just going to let it do what it wants for a while and see where I end up. I'm not afraid of a buzz cut in my future.

I have an Alcatraz souvenir cell block keychain that my grandparents bought on a tourist trip in the 1970s that goes with my car keys.

The cat expressed interest in the white cheddar popcorn I was eating, so I gave her a single piece. I figured she would lick all the flavor off and be done. Nope, she actually crunched up and ate the whole thing 🤷

God, I hate retail managers who are willing to team out an employee while a customer is standing in the same aisle.

I guess I need to stop mentioning that I'm 40, because it always triggers someone saying "omg you don't look like you're 40" and totally derails whatever I was trying to say about aging. I know I look young for my age. It's the autism and EDS.

After 19 years together, my husband and I are sympatico in so many things. But I still tend to order a drink right before he wants to leave when he is the DD, and he still encourages me to chug that last drink. Maybe in our next decade we'll figure out that timing better.

Working as a cheapish hourly part-timer for the same company as my salaried spouse means listening to meetings where they slowly struggle through things I could do for them very quickly, allowing the higher paid folks to get back to their real work. I've pointed this out. Oh well.

I'm cranky about the neurotypical parents trying to "split the spectrum" because their kids are high support needs. I'm doing my best to resist commenting on those posts with "okay let's call it autism and turbo-autism"

@heyscoops.bsky.social Slurpie and I are at an antique store. @thefamouspaul.bsky.social any interest? ;)

There haven't been any actual mishaps during our work on our garden hardscaping, but you wouldn't know that based on how many bruises I have.

I'll be there! Not with bells on, those turn out to actually be pretty annoying.

I grew up next to an actual swamp and lived most of my life in humid-as-fuck places, so living in the desert I still get surprised by how much cooler it is in the shade than in the sun.

Do they make the pairs of Mormon boys on their missions do *everything* together, or is it just easier that way? There are like four pairs of them shopping in this grocery store.

It's too hot to plant anything so of course all the garden centers have everything I want to plant on sale for a deep discount. I've been on that carousel before.

If you actually did want to collect water samples or paint chunks or do whatever at the reflecting pool right now, all you would have to do is wear work clothes and one piece of hi-vis and carry some sort of tool. Just walk right up and start scooping.

Disabilities cost money in weird ways. I *can* lift 2 cu ft of dirt but I will regret it; buying 1 cu ft bags costs a fair bit more per.

Just reminiscing about how I successfully trained a dog to not cross the street unless I said so, even if I wasn't there, but couldn't convince her not to leave the yard without me if the gate fell open.

I have identified a male and a female hummingbird who spend a lot of time in a specific tree in my neighbor's yard and have come to my feeder. How do I convince her to build her next impossibly tiny nest in my yard? My aesthetic ideal for this space is "pollinator oasis."

I seldom infantilize my husband, but I do apply sunscreen to him like he's a recalcitrant toddler.

My husband was fully concerned I was going to fall in love with a gorgeous enby burlesque performer last night and friends let me tell you his concerns were well founded

I am always mildly amused when venues choose "ladies" and "men" for their bathroom signage and not one of the other possible combos

It's a good thing I don't live near DC anymore because I *would* be getting arrested for wearing my Creature from the Black Lagoon rash guard in the reflecting pool and menacing tourists

Why is unglazed terra cotta against styrofoam the worst sensory hell

There's a lawyer here in town named Eric Roy whose ads go "Call your boy Eric Roy," and as someone who refuses to think of anyone as "my boy" no sir I will not.

Don't acknowledge Ron Perlman!

Comparing the arena on the White House lawn to the Eiffel Tower isn't *entirely* unfair - after all when the tower was constructed, a lot of people hated it 🤷

Gemini has made Google Maps so much worse. We asked to go to 8850 Sunset and it tried to send us to West Hollywood.

@heyscoops.bsky.social I told one of the other Fringe acts he needs to reach out to you. Dave of Dave and the Trash Band. He needs to tell Paul his horse joke.

I don't understand how this town supports so many self-storage places.

I am irritated at how difficult all the various payment processing applications make it to stop deliveries from defaulting to my old address, or the last address I sent something to. If I select my current address as default, the next time I use your service on a shop page, it should default.

Today I learned that the figwort family, Scrophularia, is in fact related to the disease symptom scrofula. This knowledge arrived in connection with the sentence, "a forb is a herbaceous flowering plant that is not a graminoid," which I love because it sounds like absolute nonsense.

Tfw you're trying to nap because you're exhausted and woke up too early but you can't stop thinking about how much of your skull is just empty space

Our waitress said they had a Key Lime cider. I didn't expect it to actually taste fully like Key Lime pie. Crust flavor, whip, all of it. It was complicated and lovely.

I don't believe in karmic forces but I did just clear three up from parking spaces that were blocked with carts on my way inside.

The unwanted palm trees in my yard are coming out Friday. Looking forward to planting native species back there instead! And having less crap to pick up every windy day.

Every time the commentators mention Dorofeyev, the subtitles say Dorothea.

I didn't love it when one of the historians in the George Washington documentary my husband is watching described young Washington as "a stud."

Like Giuliani as Manhattan D.A. Or Jeannine Pirro as Westchester County D.A. How many people - esp Black & Brown ppl - were prosecuted unfairly during their leadership?

Wonder Woman 1984 was unwatchable but I would love to see Pedro Pascal do more in the vein of the Max Lord character. He excels at the "still waters run deep" characters but the way he handles flashy with an over-the-top accent is so fun.

Got out of an amazing live special recording full of inclusivity and love and waited in line for the bathroom with those same wonderful folks, then on my way out a rando looked me up and down and went "Isn't this the women's restroom?" Kinda feels like the world can never resist reminding me.

@heyscoops.bsky.social Any plans to have Sarah Hester Ross come on to talk about taking her special? We just got home from the early show and it was fantastic. Plus Matt knows the director 🤷

Democrats cannot make up their minds. Are they a party that will do anything to win? Are they a party that will always do the right thing, even if it means losing? No, they are neither. So they throw people under the bus AND they lose.

This little friend showed up last night and was still in the same spot this afternoon. I didn't think its prospects on our door were very good, so I moved it over into one of the trees.

"Alcoholics go to meetings / Drunks go to parties" is a real weird thing to put in a billboard, Lee's Liquors.

I can't handle it when veterinarians and techs are attractive. Full-on bisexual panic.

The front office staff at my vet are very cute but not great at paperwork.

My cat who yells about everything is always totally silent at the vet. As soon as I get her to the car, she starts screaming again.

I simply don't have the self-discipline to stop reading and go to sleep just because it's late.