The art is pouring in to our DMs! Huge thanks to @ishmaelcallme.bsky.social for bringing Angela Smyth’s amazing whale to our attention! We definitely consider ourselves a whale appreciation society.

Can’t believe my “pokemon GO TO THE POLLS” joke didn’t land in class today.

This beautiful art was sent to us anonymously and we want to remind you our DMs are always* open. *Until our co-laborers melt into the sperm.

I need some professional advice. Now that I’m faculty and not a grad student, is it still okay for me to troll my university on the internet?

Even Pinterest is bad internet now. I’m going back to the last place I felt happy.

I don’t have imposter syndrome until a student asks me to explain a basic grammar rule.

BEAT MY RECORD! Got a Covid vaccine and I only called two pharmacies, went to two others, and sent 400 stress texts.

My surefire fantasy draft strategy: only players with kind eyes.

I saw JAWS for the first time this weekend and nobody had ever told me it was mostly just guys on a boat (i e Moby-Dick)

Wages of unionized workers are 13% higher than their nonunion counterparts. But unions also set a higher pay standard that all workers enjoy. In high-union-density states, median household income is $12,000 higher than in low-union-density states. This is why unions are vital.

Quick, someone give me $200 so I give this cat my mom found under her shed a sense of whimsy.

Not enough people are talking about how Melville and I are the same height and have almost the same birthday AND YET I am still not invited to be a reenactor at conferences.

How do I become a critterstorian? A historian of critters?

Feeling pretty called out on the first day of classes.

My plan for the start of the semester

There is an ethical responsibility towards never inviting people who use AI to parties.

New for this semester: “Does that make sense?” Is out. “Can I get a hell yeah?” Is in.

Perfect timing! Now I can cackle derisively when I hear about AI “preparing students for the job market.” WHAT A THRILL!

an era when all the lols are lolsobs.

Sports betting site for how quickly someone who makes 3x my salary praises AI in welcome back meetings.

Please consider submitting or nominating articles and chapters on the works of Herman Melville published in 2024 for consideration for the Hennig Cohen Prize. Submission deadline is September 15th! See more details, including a list of past winners, at www.melvillesociety.org/the-hennig-c...

Inside you there are two wolves. They are ENM and looking for a third.

My time has come. ( @thecarie.bsky.social says so)

This is where I write.

Comforting to know that Whale Facts™️ have been and will always be a little bad.

Maybe I have certain expectations for men at sea, but I watched Jaws for the first time and there was not enough kissing.

Me and the girls making perpetual stew.

I cashed in savings bonds my grandma gave me when I was 5 to get a tattoo and I think she would be proud.

I am available to manage socials for any future Love Island contestant. I will do a great job and absolutely will not make deranged memes.

We have a new AI policy with sample language for syllabi. The unrestricted policy was developed using ChatGPT. This is so fucking embarrassing.

Never forget what they took from us.

Cashier: “do you have horses or cattle?” Me, buying corn and a salt block for the baby deer in my yard:

Hate that “guy who got famous for ‘ecofriendly’ electric cars poisons Memphis air to power mechahitler” makes complete sense to me.

Going to be straight giggling with the lads.

Let Jaden push Zak into the pool before she goes #loveislandusa

Inside you there are two wolves &c. &c.

For self care, I’ve been thinking “if only Chuck Grassley were alive to see this” about every news story I hear.

On the Lara Croft scale of graphics, the reenactments in this Great Lakes documentary are right between Underworld and Guardian of Light.

Is $15 a good deal for the Isabel Allende Barbie?

Hello from Cape Cod where I am forcing Flo to watch Jaws, neither of us have seen this before, I love men in boats suffering from hubris

Where can I get a 200 pound weighted blanket? I’ll even take a burlap sack full of bricks.

Yes.

Tonight I'm texting Nancy Pelosi and asking HER for $5

What do you mean the video game where I seduce my HVAC system is actually a withering commentary on labor, AI, and the defense tech industry?

It is customary to have two harpoons reposing in the crotch

Fun fact: today's nephews learned this style of discourse from Moby-Dick

The only things rattling around in my brain.

Check it out: the pre-order link for Lingering Inland: A Literary Tour of the Midwest! This book collects dozens of #LiteraryLandscapes essays, and pre-orders will ship in November—perfect for Christmas! www.press.uillinois.edu/books/?id=p0...

10 years ago, the WI DNR closed the nude beach near my hometown to “curb a pattern” of “illicit sex, drug use, and cruising.” Please join me as I become a menace until the beach is reopened.

Two weeks ago I had to say goodbye to Ripley, the best dog in the world. He was sweet, smart, stubborn, and always starving (that's what he would say at least). He was the perfect little guy and I miss him a lot.