just watched this absolutely stunning documentary about the brutal damage that the stigmatization of sexuality, mental illness, addiction, and queerness has caused throughout the past century - if you can, i would wholeheartedly recommend it, esp. in light of the most recent censorship movement.

Man. Nothing like listening to MCR, Evanescence, and Dir en grey for 2h in the dark to calm down the depression. That music was made to directly produce dopamine istg (Also ao gd grateful i have good headphones now; sound quality is such a treat 💀)

#tmi I think a lot of romantasy doesn't land with me b/c i just don't fight? Like, if you show me you are stronger & know what you're doing, why would i not just accept my place? I don't get the endlessly stubborn, bickering heroines. Maybe it's the depression&passive suicidal ideation lol

i am late for #DAFanFriday as always, but i want to assure my dead dove girlie-pops that i am 100% working on that second chapter of Tranquility for Non-Mages. it's just going to be considerably longer than i anticipated b/c i CANNOT stfu lol

sooooo i guess i'm reading Alchemised lol very excited to find out if booktok's definition of "absolutely unhinged and brutal" is the same as mine 🫠

+ playing Hades again on Steam (instead of Switch): this time I made it past Megara in 6 attempts instead of 20. - playing Hades again on Steam: definitely giving myself carpal tunnel again 🫠 but I want to romance Thanatos and play Hades II SO BAD T_T

if you do nothing else today, take 20min and listen to this album because this is absolutely what the myth of Solavellan would sound like if retold by spirits in the Fade ♥️♥️♥️

#nsfw ? #tmi ? oh good. i read that really neat sub!Solas modern AU fic with diegetic bdsm and now i'm depressed again b/c people irl always say stuff like "yeah roleplaying is cool!" but it's NOT. roleplay. to me. the competent adult is the god damn roleplay. submission is an intrinsic part of ME.

I've found Solas & Evunial's themesong 😭♥️ What if I've known you in some other life? What if I told you in some other life? I've always been in love with you Please say you remember too open.spotify.com/track/0zszzl...

Downloaded a bunch of fic I've had bookmarked for forever b/c of the upcoming ao3 downtime and man. "Our Scars (They'll Dance With Each Other)" is. Right up my fckin alley. Modern AU sub!Solas with kinkshaming + humiliation 💀🖤

researching the history, anatomy, and effects of lobotomies is really SOMETHING x__x and sadly most of the info is concerned with the spectacle of it (and rosemary kennedy), instead of scientific data and anatomical descriptions/footage >_<

What video game do you consider perfect? Perfection is a subjective term when it comes to art, but Nier:Automata is as perfect as it gets. It marries emotional impact with fun gameplay, ludo-narrative consonance, philosophy, all of that. But if we're going by replays, it's Dragon Age: Inquisition🙃

i was just informed that @eveyning.bsky.social asked Trick about Solas keeping the Lyrium Dagger in the "no redemption" endings and Trick apparently said "yeah, he keeps it, but he's not leaving the prison anytime soon" - WHICH GOT ME THINKING:

i'm deliberately not tagging this nsfw because it's NOT. this is an incredibly good explanation for y fictional depictions of basically anything r always ok. the fantasy IS the framing device. the author isn't my partner, they don't need to negotiate w me! my hand on the mouse is always my way out.

I just want to say how fucking much I've enjoyed being part of #solavellanweek2025 - i haven't felt as part of a community like this in a LONG time. Thank you to everyone who took the time to check out my writing - i also adored EVERYTHING i saw/heard/read. I'm swimming in love for you all & Solas😭❤

Going to my bf's family bbq with Evunial and Solas spirit worms as earrings and nobody can stop me!! 🙃

#solavellanweek2025 Day 7: "Mirrors" - Nothing Like Her The consequences of Evunial drinking from the Vir'abelasan for the prompt "Mirrors". I did the Hallelujah cadence thing a couple of times in this chapter - cookies for you, if you notice :D archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

It's 3:30AM and this just cracked my 3rd eye WIDE TF OPEN omg 💀💀💀 I want to crack that old man like a glowstick. Jesus H Christ. #nsfw ?

Just watched Jawbreaker and The Craft back to back and now I'm depressed I don't have any girlfriends irl to hang out with 😔 i should definitely go to bed before i cry again 😑

I'm finally watching 1999's Jawbreaker and god damn. No wonder I'm so screwed up. Getting accidentally murdered by a young Rose McGowan was hot at 13, and it's hot now 💀❤

for #DAFanFriday i give you: oh no! it's the consequences of Evunial drinking from the Well 🙃 which is going to be my last week for #solavellanweek2025 (Mirrors) tomorrow :3

i didn't know this was the exact version and i went to listen to it for the very first time and here i am, even 10 years later, in the midst of Solavellan Week, crying my eyes out over the stupid wet dog man. it hurts so much, it's so beautiful. i love Solas so much it breaks my heart over&over.

#solavellanweek2025 Day 6: I Always Come Back To You, titled "My Friend." Wisdom has observed Solas through the ages, ever since he followed Benevolence's call. At the end of his Dinan'shiral, she finally finds him. archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

creating an honest to god cringy wish fulfillment OC like Evunial has been so healing tbh? i always thought i had to be super original and ~different~, and my OCs weren't allowed to be special/gifted b/c I'M not special. but no. Evunial IS a god damn Wisdom spirit. and she HAS white-blonde hair...

PLEASE click on the link and read the screenshots, I AM BEGGING YOU IT'S WORTH IT. i feel like someone grabbed my heart through my ribcage and squeezed it really hard. this is fucking genius.

thinking about the state of mind people must be in to make Solas their personal villain of Veilguard, to punch him and imprison him all alone for literal eternity, makes me cry. you see what you want to see. and the reflection you see in Solas is only your own.

consistency. telling a consistent plot/story and keeping consistently logical characterization. my writing is extremely emotion-driven; i get so much into a scene/a moment and then it doesn't make sense with the rest of what i've written. i've been trying really hard to get better about that >_<

#solavellanweek2025 Day 5: Liberation In the undying words of Varric Tethras: This shit is weird. PLEASE read my warnings in the notes. Fic rating has been upped to Explicit for this chapter ONLY. Solas has trauma. He and Evunial fuck about it. archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

I JUST REALIZED. i have two spirit worm keychains now. one of them is Evunial, and one is Solas. and i will wear them as earrings. and no one can stop me and my sappy headcanon!!!!

well, opinions seem to be split over my weird smut i wrote for tomorrow's "Liberation" prompt xD both beta readers cried, but for wildly different reasons. i'm going to be posting the chapter. but with big warnings which i'm begging everyone to read lol

#solavellanweek2025 Day 4 - The Heavy Crown, titled "I Am The Crown They'll Bleed For" inspired by the song of the same title by Manifested Dreams (ironically enough lol). Two moments in Solas' life when he witnessed the crushing burden of command. archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

Ok. The smut i wrote for Thursday's Liberation prompt is. Weird. Like. WEIRD. I'm really not sure i should post it. It's sappy and problematic at the same time? And weirdly self-indulgent?? Anyone wanna beta this? 💀 (i still have to finish the last bit tomorrow.. or i can just leave it. Hnggghh >.<)

if you haven't already, please read J's work - her characterization of Solas, her Inquisitor Iris, and their relationship is so delicate, flawless, and consistent across so many great stories, both heartwarming and heartwrenching ♥️

ok, i need to lock tf in and write my piece for Day 5. i can't spend all afternoon just listening to musical inspiration - at some point it need to actually WRITE the smut xD (Inspiration includes Deore - Tell me I'm in Trouble :3 open.spotify.com/track/0vYDxm...)

#solavellanweek2025 is in full swing!! 🥰 Here's my contribution for Day 3: Regrets of the Dread Wolf / Hindsight titled "Dread Incarnate" What happened when Solas awakened in his body? What does it have to do with Evunial? archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

i'm looking through my Veilguard screenshots to find a specific line of dialogue i KNOW is there (harding talking about the similarity between the elven & dwarven word for lyrium? did i hallucinate that??) - but i can't look at the pictures because I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE SOLAS T_T

tag yourself with ao3’s new canonical tags!!!! oooooooh boy xD I'm Father/Daughter Incest, Abandonment Issues, Crying during Sex, Humiliation Kink, Past Trauma, Not Edited, Self-Deprecation, and Wound Care; In short: My entire life is labeled Dead Dove 🫠💀

It's fckin insane how brazen the Solas haters are. An innocent post about what fictional character deserved so much more/better, i (obviously) reply with Solas, and this person replies "he deserved so much worse". Like. Ok? Did you REALLY have to say that to an obvious fan?

Why tf do doctor's offices play shitty radio music. Like TECHNO. I am DYING. It's not even 8AM and I'm already overstimulated. Why can't we just have some fucking peace and quiet. I'm gonna fckin SCREAM. I was gonna read some more solavellan week fics but now i can't 😭

#solavellanweek2025 it's past midnight here so it's officially day 2! Ancient Arlathan/Modern Thedas - the story of Evunial & Solas' First Time and an explanation for why it ended with Solas in tears. Please mind the warnings in the summary! archiveofourown.org/works/708122...

Solas and Felassan Dragon Age ca. -8000 Ancient 🫠

#solavellanweek2025 babyyyy!!! Starting off strong with an oldie but goldie: For today's prompt "Left Behind", I give you the Trespasser breakup scene I've always wanted to write for Moira, titled "The Healer Has the Bloodiest Hands" (cliche but true :3) archiveofourown.org/works/70812211

ooooh i just finally got a great idea for day 3 Ancient Arlathan / Modern Thedas - Solas' and Evunial's first time. He cries once they're done. we'll experience why he cries, too. It's gonna be great 🙃 (no, i can't be normal - everything has to be PAIN 120% of the time 💀)

not my bf saying "well Solavellan IS the most straight, booktok girlie pairing in all of dragon age" on the way home, activating me like a fucking sleeper agent 💀🫠 like. this man. love him. but his dragon age takes are unironically the worst in the galaxy.

Man. Queer board game night sounds like a lot of fun until you're autistic and don't know anyone there 🙃 i want to claw my skin off my body 🙃

I'm about to hurt ALL y'all's feelings with this one 🙃 Just haven't decided if it's gonna be for day 2 or day 3 of #solavellanweek2025 🙃

i'm writing the second prompt for #solavellanweek2025 and making myself cry by rewatching the Regret Memory where Mythal gets Solas to take a body. His voice. His fucking voice. The shakiness of it, the breathiness, almost near tears, the FEAR. GDL, wherever you are, god fucking bless you, man.

imagine the real Solas waking up one day in modern-modern Thedas and this is all over social media and he's just like "oh for the love of...", pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing dramatically while Lavellan just DIES from laughter off-screen xD

Something that still irks me about the way Solas is presented in VG is the scene after the Ghilan'nain's lab memory. Like. What was he supposed to DO? The agent was blighted, there is no cure. Not then, not now. He didn't USE her, this likely centuries old grown woman swore herself to his cause.

i lied. i've got something for #DAFanFriday - hot off the presses and my first contribution to #solavellanweek2025 starting this sunday! :3 First true Solavellan I've written in a while, & OF COURSE it's the Trespasser ending between Moira and Solas for the prompt "Left Behind". (report for tags)