You know you have a peace president when other nations feel the need to add more nukes to their arsenals.

I miss 5-disc CD changers and the shuffle feature.

“But Grampa, if he was accused so many times of raping and abusing little girls, why did you still support him?” You ready to answer this question, MAGA?

All the actions Trump took today were typical of the actions of a rapist.

Lindsey Graham’s panties are soaked

MAGA rushing to defend their “No new wars” president

Someone come save us.

There are still some humans in Silicon Valley.

Public apologies and resignations do not take the place of arrests.

MAGA is building its media dominance

Something tells me it was a BIG mistake to get Hillary involved.

I do not consent to the Department of Defense using artificial intelligence to spy on me or my family.

Jeffrey Epstein also ran illegal daycares, except he raped the kids.

I’m starting to get MAGA: “if I can’t win, someone else better lose worse.”

Stock market performance is literally the only positive thing Trump had going for him, and he’s sending it south with his tariffs. So what will keep his base behind him?

Even the weather is distracting from Epstein now.

Even cannibals have rights

The Dow has not gotten back to 50K since the day Pam Bondi said it had hit 50K.

Australian citizens, you know what to do.

Congrats to the USA men’s hockey team. Canada, we’ll trade you the gold medals for Mark Carney.

Someone suggested a Mark Kelly / Jon Stewart ticket and I can’t get it out of my head.

Didn’t need to read the headline to know this was a MAGA child rapist.

Down with the super-rich.

Can we get an ID on the steelworker who offered to kiss Trump yesterday?

Omg he sounds so stupid

Cool, can we remove his stupid banner from the DOJ now, too?

I take all my moral direction from guys with southern accents preaching about Jesus.

It’s important to remember that we outnumber MAGA.

I wish we had a normal president so I could pay more attention to the Olympics. Fuck Trump.

An untethered Colbert is an amazing thing to watch.

They can plead the fifth, but we can’t exercise free speech.

The last time the Dow was at 50,000 is when Pam Bondi said it was at 50,000.

Still haven’t spent a dime at Target for a year.

I want to become a hermit but I don’t know how to forage. Is that, like, dumpster diving behind Whole Foods?

Judged by the company we keep.

Golden Age.

I’m guessing Lindsey Vonn won’t receive a bill for her care.

I’m thinking it’s time for our country to be run by women.

There are so many better surface options for snorting coke than a toilet seat.

And just like that, no one’s talking about the Melania movie.

RFK Jr. is the best thing that’s ever happened to The Onion.

How do the anti-socialism folks feel about Trump accounts?

What’s the Dow at today, Pam?