#SpentANiceDay skiing two different mountains, marred only by two different freak ski-lift catastrophes.

#SpentANiceDay spelunking, until entomology reared its ugly head.

#SpentANiceDay feeding my face and getting sloshed in a biergarten.

#SpentANiceDay plotting in the hive of scum and villainy.

#SpentANiceDay picnicking in the hills until we got sheep-bombed by an eagle.

#CareersCuisines Tiramasseur

#CareersCuisines stockbrokers

#CareersCuisines Fruit Cobbler

#CareersCuisines Baggeruette

You couldn't really tell by looking at them, but the news from Earth #HorrifiedTheAliens

Spooky #HorrifiedTheAliens

The unfortunate timing of their first official visit #HorrifiedTheAliens

Their warm, pink, slimeless flesh #HorrifiedTheAliens

#ImPuttingOnARedNoseFor laughs. I don't have to have a reason.

#ChangeALetterRuinAnAlbum Misfits Wank Among Us

#ChangeALetterRuinAnAlbum Herpes

#IncludeAvoidKneeThirsty thirsty for forgiveness, I feel upon my knees, unfortunately, without even a quick scan to avoid turds, worms, and other goo and filth.

#IncludeAvoidKneeThirsty You must avoid the void. It's thirsty for your soul. Get down on your knees, and try not to see, Whatever might lie through the hole.

#IncludeAvoidKneeThirsty Avoid thirst, knee and joint pain. Drink like a camel. Eat hydrating foods like melon and cucumber. Watch for signs they're running through you faster than you're running through the neighborhood.

#FoodWithFlourInASongOrMovie The Buckwheat List

#FoodWithFlourInASongOrMovie Dredged-In

#FoodWithFlourInASongOrMovie Donut Make My Brown Eyes Blue

#FoodWithFlourInASongOrMovie Karma Bechameleon

#ICouldntStopLaughingWhen I first heard a character referred to as, "Don Martin," in a very serious Spanish movie.

Don't know how you finally came out the other end after all these years, but #ICouldntStopLaughingWhen I heard.

#ICouldntStopLaughingWhen you got your first tattoo.

#ICouldntStopLaughingWhen a friend and I first rediscovered the Three Stooges as adults.

#ICouldntStopLaughingWhen I learned that the only known death from laughing too hard occurred while watching the Goodies, but don't tell me which scene!

My office #IsARealMess but the bedroom is actually quite orderly.

Let's just order a pizza. My kitchen #IsARealMess

#Woke80s just no joke still pretty woke

#Woke80s DEI of the Tiger

#Woke80s Sex, Which is Not the Same as Gender, Lies and Videotape

#WhatMyPetWouldSayAboutMe weak, human, stupid, but potentially useful.

#WhatMyPetWouldSayAboutMe generous provider

#WhatMyPetWouldSayAboutMe surprisingly uninquisitive as humans go

#WhatMyPetWouldSayAboutMe He is not Batman

#AnAwkwardMomentIs getting outsmarted by kids who aren't even all smart.

#AnAwkwardMomentIs pulling a hilarious prank and not getting a laugh.

#AnAwkwardMomentIs catching a mistake after you sent it to the printer.

#AnAwkwardMomentIs when your friend sees you fell asleep at their show.

#WhereToFindThatPotOfGold maybe the real pot of gold was the friends we met along the way.

#WhereToFindThatPotOfGold Wayne's house apparently 😸

#WhereToFindThatPotOfGold low-hanging fruit, but like everything is green or gold today.

#WhereToFindThatPotOfGold Mars

#IfEverythingWasGreen and smelled like pork, it would be Kermit's finger.

#IfEverythingWasGreen I'd be thinking these contacts need a clean.

#IfEverythingWasGreen, Mean Joe would throw us jerseys.

#IfEverythingWasGreen, Moe still would've gotten whacked.

#IfEverythingWasGreen I don't necessarily hate the idea.