Wayne Hepner
@waynehepner.bsky.social
📤 93
📥 18
📝 2001
I am a human from Earth.
Saint
#InnocentOf
Alaska and Tweety
2 days ago
0
0
0
I am
#InnocentOf
all charges. I don't even know whose head - I mean what you think you found.
2 days ago
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0
0
Please, Molly, tell me you're
#InnocentOf
racketeering in drugs.
2 days ago
0
0
0
#BreakingTheChainsForTheNewYear
means the Spooky Man could get you!
2 days ago
0
0
0
#BreakingTheChainsForTheNewYear
is nothing. I ever show you girls how I shoot ping pong balls?
2 days ago
0
0
0
#MyChristmasEveIs
reserved for John McClane and Jesus.
4 days ago
0
6
1
#GetSentimental
reflect upon your former earthly existence.
9 days ago
0
1
1
#GetSentimental
go pester the dead folk.
9 days ago
0
9
4
#IOnlyWearUglySweatersWhen
robbing banks.
9 days ago
1
4
2
#IOnlyWearUglySweatersWhen
they reflect the reason for the season.
9 days ago
2
4
2
#MyNewAccessoryIs
broken boards.
14 days ago
0
2
0
#MyNewAccessoryIs
a necklace.
14 days ago
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2
0
#MyNewAccessoryIs
the hat from Burn!
14 days ago
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3
0
Thank you, Lord, but
#NoOneNeedsTo
be told not to miss the Great Snatch.
14 days ago
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1
0
#NoOneNeedsTo
buy a mug shaped like Gene Simmons' head, until they actually see one, of course.
14 days ago
0
0
0
#BadChristmas2025GiftIdeas
regifting.
16 days ago
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0
0
#BadChristmas2025GiftIdeas
the horse potty.
16 days ago
1
6
1
#BadChristmas2025GiftIdeas
a book about bird shit.
16 days ago
0
1
0
When you're
#TooBusyFor
Dildo, you're
#TooBusyFor
life.
16 days ago
0
2
2
#TooBusyFor
beating myself up.
16 days ago
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3
3
#TooBusyFor
pants
16 days ago
0
3
3
#TooBusyFor
checking the straps.
16 days ago
0
3
3
#TrappedBy
Titano! The Monster That Time Forgot
23 days ago
0
8
3
#TrappedBy
the Terror of the Future
23 days ago
0
5
3
reposted by
Wayne Hepner
Caldwell Murchfield
24 days ago
If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.
add a skeleton here at some point
2
7
2
I'm a paperboy. I work for the Courier.
#IdLikeProtection
against the Sentinel.
25 days ago
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0
0
#IdLikeProtection
against, uh, fetishists.
25 days ago
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0
0
#IdLikeProtection
if I'm going to testify against Bugsy.
25 days ago
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0
0
#MakeABlockbusterAHolidayMovie
Bill & Ted's Excellent Advent
25 days ago
0
2
1
Christmas shopping
#CuresMyWinterBlahs
25 days ago
1
2
1
#WhatIDoNOTWantForChristmas
dinner all in one stratified can.
25 days ago
0
4
1
#WhatIDoNOTwantForChristmas
a hippopotamus.
25 days ago
0
1
0
Are you guys sure we're
#NotDeadYet
? I'm starting to wonder if we might be
28 days ago
0
1
0
I'm sorry, I can't eat this. It's
#NotDeadYet
28 days ago
0
2
0
Please stop just repeating,
#NotDeadYet
and let me take you to the doctor.
28 days ago
0
2
0
#TruthBeKnown
I come from a town near a town called Colchester, and I've always thought of myself as a Colchesterite.
30 days ago
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2
2
#TruthBeKnown
you hear so much about the place I kind of expected more.
30 days ago
0
2
2
#TruthBeKnown
this week the fire might be the nicest part.
30 days ago
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2
2
#GiveThanksFor
When we've raised our last glasses, the holiday passes, And so do the gases from out of our asses, As meat, greens and roots, gravies and fruits, Turn to redolent clouds of boisterous toots.
about 1 month ago
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0
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#TheSongOnTheJukeboxIs
Diamonds, Rats, and Gum
about 1 month ago
2
2
1
#TheSongOnTheJukeboxIs
Mother Grease the Cat by Ancient Grease.
about 1 month ago
1
2
1
Buck up, lad, it's
#AlmostOver
now. Once your feet are on the ground just push up a little and it'll pour right out.
about 1 month ago
0
5
4
We're
#AlmostOver
da target. Let 'em have it!
about 1 month ago
0
3
2
Their long, grisly reign is
#AlmostOver
but we're not out of the woods yet.
about 1 month ago
0
5
2
#MillennialYoMammaJokes
Yo mamma so millennial she never let you play Trouble because "Popamatic" sound too much like "problematic."
about 1 month ago
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2
1
#MillennialYoMammaJokes
Yo mamma so millennial she asks, "why do you ever call?"
about 1 month ago
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2
1
#MillennialYoMammaJokes
Yo mamma so millennial she ain't playing this game cause she's afraid Yo Mamma jokes are cultural appropriation.
about 1 month ago
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2
1
#SafetyFirst
Post a list of emergency phone numbers including Police, Fire, ambulance and lion tamer.
about 1 month ago
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0
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It's too dark too see, but there are still tracks out here and it rains out here, so I guess there are still tracks inside. Now keep your hands inside the cart.
#SafetyFirst
about 1 month ago
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0
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My position
#OnPurpose
is if I was supposed to have one, I'd have some glimmer what it was by now.
about 1 month ago
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3
3
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