Smashing header by Big Nick for the Nationalmannschaft!

Wtf is wrong with our manager? Has he died and been replaced with a sack of potatoes? Utterly shite performance since the end of last season. He needs to sort himself out or fucking walk because this is a disgraceful position he's got us in to.

Howe is having a period of being fucking useless. Not changing the side when it's fucking minging, total dereliction of duty.

Why are we so awful away from home? It's pathetic.

Thanks to my mother's hopeless directions I gatecrashed two funerals.

Get Gordon off ffs. Useless.

This is a triple sub at HT performance. Disgraceful.

Solid defensive work by the ref there 👏

Joelinton riding Kudus like a tiny Shetland pony 😆 #nufc

I really wish we could see the old Joe Willock again...

Apparently some folks are playing real dumb about skull symbols so let’s play a little game I like to call “Nazi skull or not a Nazi skull” First up, the Jolly Roger. This is a pirate skull, not a Nazi skull. It means you might get robbed, but prolly not genocided. With me so far? 1/x

Did this cretinous ref's watch stop? #NUFC

Graças a Deus pelo Bruno G! #NEWFUL

I don't think any insult I could think of would be as savage as the looks that the "referee" is getting from Bruno and Joelinton #NEWFUL

Interesting tactic of playing diabolically for five minutes to suck Fulham up the pitch and then hitting them on the counter 😆 #NEWFUL

Have you ever seen a mackem in the Champions League? Yes, and the prick's name is Szymon Marciniak... #NEWBEN

I hate Brighton so much. Always beyond disgustingly lucky against us. Every fucking time.

From dominance to not being able to string two passes together. This is a stinking performance. #BHANEW

Stern Gang Starmer at it again I see...

Brilliant analysis and insight from Kev that is well worth reading. I can’t wait to see what "Wolte-Messi" brings to Toon! 🖤🇩🇪🤍 #NUFC

The Arse players all diving and rolling around constantly in a pre-season friendly 😆 They're so pathetic.

Wearing the blue and orange kit at Parkhead was probably a bad decision...

Well that should bump up the amount we're prepared to spend on Trafford.

Maybe the graun will have better spelling by using AI instead of journos!

Tino has been superb for England U21s tonight. Such a special talent.

The problem is that the US isn't a civilised nation and is at least as half bonkers as Trump.

Meanwhile, in Vienna, hearing absolute gobbledegook on the street: "That's Hungarian right?" GermanMrs: "No, that was just local German!" "Come on, I've been learning German for decades, surely I'd recognise even weird German!" GM: 👀

Saw some dolphins doing some sick flips today!

Oof, this'll be my first long-sleeve Newcastle shirt since the 2005 home shirt with Robert on the back!

Can't be too angry at the lads; we have massively overachieved to get fifth, and if we hadn't been lucky with the Villa result, it still would have been more than anyone would have expected with no squad improvements in two years. And we won a cup! Howay the Lads! #nufc

This is officially disgraceful territory now. Wtf is wrong with our attitude? Awful awful awful.

So we're just going to play like fucking donkeys eh. Interesting technique.

Meteora

I got annoyed building a model aeroplane as a teenager and stabbed the crafts knife in to the table twice. Sadly the replaceable blade stayed in the table with the first blow and then the back end of it went in to the side of my hand with the second. Nice scar.

Does anyone know what these things are? I forgot the name! #tierparkberlin Wie heißen diese Kollegen?

Fffs, fanny about all game when we should be three or four up and get hit by a flukey long shot. Way to throw away 2nd lads.

What's Miley's skull made out of, titanium?!

Every one of our forward line have turned in to fucking donkeys. Wtf.

This POS referee has clearly had PGMOL on the phone at HT. #NEWCHE

Well that has to be a red

Howay United, let's stuff these dirty PSR cheats!

Out and about in Berlin

Pizzaballa was robbed 😤

UPDATE: white smoke has *also* been spotted in the city center of Avignon,,, bad news folks!!!

Bloody Hell what a game!

Out and about in Berlin

Whoever is in VAR today should be strung up.

VAR being used specifically to fuck us over as always.

How the hell is that not a second yellow?! Outrageous refereeing as always from that POS