Meet Bartleby, the "Zoomer Boomer" disrupting the managerial space -- from his goon station

the steady march of fascism and rapidly intensifying climate change have both helped alleviate my death anxiety. i don't want to be here any longer than i need to be. febreze

arrrrgghhfff

everything you read on the internet was written for you. sniff up the vibes. Febreze

LUTHOR: they say "urethra" in commercials now. And that's your fault you smirking plutonian. SUPERMAN: Maybe that's the real hyperpop

look around you. your carriage is being pulled every which way. your senses are confused. unnggghhhhh spray me

febreze awaits you. step into smell

May every day be another wonderful secret. Febreze

what an awful world we've built. at least it can smell good

this guy scared the shit out of me

i forgot my name was febreze

Close up photo of a white-striped longhorn beetle. #nature #photography #art https://edition.cnn.com/world/africa/photographer-celebrating-tiny-creatures-dara-ojo-spc

what's the meaning of a flower? hippie bulllllllllcraap

I'm not saying happy mother's Day to someone who's not my mom. Sorry

I'm post-profound. That's why I'm unappreciated in my time

flowers and birds are better than anything that happens on the computer

candy land is probably disgusting. everything covered in hair and dirt and trash like a gummy worm found under couch cushions

this coffee tastes like urinal cake smell

Don't crack me open and drink me. I'm just for spraying

We don't joke about lava here

they're putting me in your town's water supply because it stinks like shit down there

pull my trigger and see me spray

unnggghhhhhh it's sprayin time

it smells so bad in here. You better spray me

baby squirrels have gotten uglier and that's climate change

[drops a key and a quarter into ur hand] bring the blimp around

the last fae who tried to boop my snoot ended up in a really tiny hospital

i stink so good

the first fingernails that offer complete protein and insane fiber. chew with glee

see that sludge? i made that

go find the biggest dog you know and put your head in its mouth right now

you have chosen to end your free trial of SelfCraft+™. beginning tomorrow, you will be unable to form a cohesive LifeStory™. Subscribe today to continue being a subject.

i need to moan the lawn

i invented the super bowl. I'm sorry

hey what are you eating? crap lol?? It looks really gross

let them move cheese

ugh. writher's block

being this. Time that. Why don't you dasein up for some therapy

i move, therefore I'm cheese

they cannot take my freedom to crap big turds

all the local newscasters are stoked about these record-breaking "unseasonably warm" temperatures. they are loving it. boiling frog-ass take

turn up

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" - your uncle scrolling through this app

my favorite thing about my job is we all get our own patch of native grass to graze

matching hoodies. Matching kicks. Matching gloves. Matching organs

just got my birth certificate on vinyl

the symphony of my heart plays in only one key, that of love. and also rizz

Have you heard this shite

there's apparently a nasty bishop

They are adding a continental philosophy land to magic kingdom and you'll be able to take a photo with kant while eating hegel bites