gotta love the implications from minecraft mods

RAHHH SALEM BIRTHDAY POST (tired and sleepy, this is all the effort you get)

"hey how many times should we hit this guy with a lead pipe??" my ever helpful kitten accomplice:

they talk about alt girls a lot, but I've never heard anyone mention a function girl, or even a shift girl, yall need to be more creative methinks my next invention will be a pause/break girl and she will serve zero function

TTRPG Reactives for the backup character of my beloved wife @cyansera.bsky.social!!! I really do think I've been getting a lot better at art and character design over the past year. I just wish I could bring myself to actually draw more in my free time instead of playing FTL lmao #art #digitalart

the hippocratic oath is cool and all but what about the hippopotamus oath?

"I will never let your people go."

somebody's beating a PVC pipe to death in my neighborhood. at 5:30 am. not quietly

i was chatgpt before it was cool. i was lying about stuff and flattering people into psychosis before the entire economy relied on it. i was in a strange financially incestuous relationship with NVIDIA that threatened to destroy the entire global economy before it was the hip thing to do.

having a job isn't enough i need to go to war

no antidepressants in the WORLD will suppress my desire to hold my wife against a wall

(yelling) yall got a tulpa? anyone here have a tulpa? a tulpa? does anyone have a tulpa I can borrow?

wowzers meowzers (what i say right before my finishing move)

I dont get how people are hydrophobic, why dont they want to let water get married??

icon of christianity of jesus was a catboy

i dont know why people say that black cats are bad luck. if a black cat walked infront of my path i would be very lucky, because i got to see a cat. im not sure we should trust the one who originated this myth.

the fungus in the ground watching the dnd cleric fucking incinerate all the undead risen corpses in the entire graveyard (they were gonna eat that)

they call it battlefield because by god am I fighting this dirt and grass and soil

The Spooky ARG Ghost Entity infecting my game watching me not make any attempt to solve any of its spooky caesar cyphers and just using the console commands to delete any creepy stuff it puts in my way

my wife makes the most normal TTRPG rules documents

im convinced that those who consume benadryl and see evil spiders and the hatman are just making shit up, I take upwards of 100mg of benadryl to sleep and I have normal dreams and havent ever seen a single hatman nor spider

he came back wrong.

about to send this brave soldier to the big rift that opened up in space! the lab coats wanted him to have stuff like a "space suit" and "personal protection", but this brave recruit is going to face the unknown unprotected like a true american patriot!

you can only refer to them by doubling any police name. the Bobby Bobbys. The Copper Coppers. The Traffic Enforcer Traffic Enforcers. The Federal Bureau of Investigation Bureau of Investigation. The Pig Pigs. Make every conversation about them sound like a one piece ability.

so many genders.... so little time....

my wife can only afford but a single bean. the economy is in shambles. she will need to wait another week for the next bean. this is a croods bit.

coming home from a long day of work to a fantastic homecooked dinner of the patreon bean

This is it, 10 years to the day. Are you doing YOUR part?

;3

It was a hard won fight, but with the wonders of modern medicine, we were finally able to surgically remove this young girl's ability to ever speak French again. Like if you think we should do this to MORE children like her!

never marry a space station 14 modder this is terrible for the economy

OH YEAH UPDATE FOR ALL YE SILLIES the new Salem Design™ is coming along really well :D GUMMY SHARL WILL BE REAL SOOOOOON

I should go back to making posts instead of not doing that like I've been doing for the past like 5 months

"one good book can change your life" but instead of anything actually meaningful I just add ", I think" to the end of my sentences because of a character I really liked in mistborn

Me: "WHAT DO YOU *MEAN*? They're posting about him like he went on a boat and sailed off the map!" My Wife: "He did! Who do you think W.D. Cooper was?!" Me: "W.D. COOPER??????" i think im in love chat

making a new vtuber group called The Vaggots and we are only accepting straight people who dont know what a pyramid scheme is

these are the normal discussions me and my wife have daily

I think I'm sick of 3D space, I'm starting a new initiative to transfer to the fourth dimension, for funs, and sillies, and not at all to talk to the whispering god who has started corrupting my soul nuh uh

Crazy! A Grung actually gave me a good name!

me hitting ctrl+s when i speak to my wife so i can quickload whenever she makes a cute moan

boykisser cat is a cognitohazard to australians and brother, you can call me the chaos insurgency

my phone won't go into my backpack... it keeps sticking out... it talkin to me like da green goblin mask... tells me i gottas post more... be different... kiss boys... be stupider... i gotta listen to it.

woah holy shit I just collected 10,000 campaign or playlist medals in halo master chief thats cool right you can boil me if you dont think it is im open to criticism

"SIC SEMPER TYRANIS!!!!!!" i scream, losing control of my car and ramming into a police station, realizing i can turn my mistake into a political statement

first bigger drawing in a while testing new #procreate brushes on @weaponizedfemboy.top #paetart #procreateartist

overhearing my boss talk to a new patient about all the medical devices the clinic has and then hearing a loud tesla coil that screams through 2 separate walls for a solid 20 seconds

croods battlefield crossover

Monty Oum being resurrected for the 30th time to work on the fight scenes for The Croods 1024 in the year of our lord 2059

biologists working in antarctica have recently discovered a new life form deep beneath the ice! its believed to consume the souls of those who look into its eyes as a form of long term sustenance!