TikTok calls report that China is exploring sale of app to Elon Musk ‘pure fiction’

holy shit

i hate the word "treatlerite" because i know it applies to me... i never use doordash or any of those apps but i am motivated by a tiny delicious snack to a degree that can be described as fascist...

They should put chat gpt in coffee mugs so you can have a breakfast conversation

(door creaking) Mom........ we peed. (8 hulking silhouettes lined menacingly behind me)

For Little White Lies, I wrote about RaMell Ross’ miraculous NICKEL BOYS - the defining American film of the decade, and a profoundly inspirational synthesis of narrative feature and avant-garde visual essay lwlies.com/reviews/nick

Me: (scribbling on resume) And can you tell me your greatest weakness Tech bro: I have been described as... "monomaniacal," by those weaker than me, those with a, shall we say, dominatable constitution. Me: (very quietly) okay... gay...

(On my private island) Poaching bores me. I wish to hunt... the most dangerous game. (Servant bursts in) Sir, we just successfully cloned the most ferocious sabertooth tiger in history! (sweating) Hmmm.. Actually, the most dangerous game is, (pointing to smallest member of cleaning crew) That guy

Ashton: Check this one out. "She mac on my roni til I cheese" (Football team laughing) Me: (desperately trying to fit in) She Fuck on my ass till I Squeam Ashton: DJ: Brock: Carson: Jalen: AJ: Aaron: Ryan: Zach: CJ: Coach Branson: Deshawn: Mikey: ... "Squeam" ?

Viral post: Bisexuals will be watching a movie and pull out their phone and just be on it and it's not even an emergency. Me: Lol...That's so stupid. [later; watching movie with bisexual dude and he pulls out his phone] Me: Whatsup dude? there like an emergency or something ?

sending back my prime rib because it looks "AI generated"

(Not paying enough attention and not realizing you switched from talking about Nosferatu to trauma dumping) That's fie 🔥🔥

Just like the “male loneliness epidemic” the imbalance in men going to college is entirely their own doing. A whole generation has decided to make themselves uneducated and unfuckable because they’re addicted to resentment. Manosphere influencers line their pockets by ensuring they stay that way.

Interviewer: Okay, give us your letterbox top 4! Me: Fuck me.. That's such a hard question... Oh that's torture... What a mean question, (yoda voice out of nowhere) Mean little man you are! (normal again) I just love them all so much, and I HAVE seen them. Interviewer: Seen what? Me: The films.

(Realizing i zoned out for 15 years and have a family now without noticing) (Realizing I never committed my beautiful child's name to memory) You - (forgetting if we have hogs or not but going with my gut feeling) Feed them hogs

New York employers must now offer paid medical leave during pregnancy

People seem to be jumping to wild conclusions as to why that cybertruck blew up when the most logical explanation is that it's because it was kind of foggy last night

2025 coming in like…

jesus has it been that long lol

hello :)