❄️ dramatic december ❄️

did I ever mention how when my mom found out I put "hazel" as my eye color on my driver's license she got extremely mad at me, insisted my eyes were brown and called me an attention wh0re

one of us is enjoying a nice hike and the other is eating a concerning amount of snow

trying to decide if I should call monthly tracking "dumbass December" or "dumbfuck December"

hoooo boy I do NOT want to w3igh myself today

this pasta e ceci is the only thing keeping me alive rn

I hate how many of my interests are on the 4lt r1ght p1peline. I should be able to look up a pattern for reusable cloth pads without a side order of j3sus or internalized mis0gyny

I've been sick so I took something to help me sleep last night, and this morning I woke up in a different set of pjs which isn't a big deal except that it's got me wondering what else I was up to while I was dr*gged 🤔

bedazzled another scrub top

if you're tired of dry turkey and unseasoned ⚪ people food, might I suggest getting yourself adopted into a Polynesian family for the day

reminder that today is a tr4sh h0liday for a tr4sh c0untry

not only is it disgusting, unglamorous, painful, and dangerous, it doesn't even work. you might get rid of ~50% of the c4ls but you also might lose teeth and damage your heart. it'll go up your nose and give you sinus problems. you'll pull muscles and your back/chest will hurt. and on and on.

spouse: "I saw a bird outside" green flag: "that's nice, tell me about it" red flag: "that's stupid and you're boring" beige flag: [grabs binoculars and shoves spouse out of the way to run outside in case it's still there]

my loves 🥹💕

I went ice skating and then made two gallons of soup

ended up making my own

b i t e

pov the DM is sick of everyone's bs

it's just that all the little painful places are extra tender right now

yeah, that's probably fine

apparently my grandpa kicked the bucket today

C H O M P

I miss when christmas countdown calendars looked like this and cost $2

I got two compliments on my outfit at c0stc0 today 👉👈

just heard someone pronounce 1gbtq!a+ as "legitibécois premium" and unfortunately I will now be doing so as well

so soft blocking apparently doesn't work over here?? anyway if you are using A! for weird n4z1 adjacent bs let me know so I can hard block you 👋

thinking about the time I got to listening to this song about surviving ch1ld 4bus3 and I was like "lol someone needs to check on the guy who wrote this, clearly he's been through it" and then sp0t1fy wrapped was like, "that was your #1 song & you listened to it 400 times this year"

I made this the second I saw your post

carrying this as a t4lisman until m4ting season is over because the bucks are NOT playing around out there

found a second vintage beer can as I was scurrying away from this scary buck that almost trampled me while I was hunting for mushrooms - who is throwing these 50 year old cans into the woods??

the people who are mad at how the r3p0rters responded to the "🤫🤫🐷" thing are fundamentally misunderstanding a what a r3p0rter's role is

The drinking water fandom is dying. Like and share if you're still sipping that clear stuff in 2025

deadass I'm gonna start logging like horrifying amounts of butter and then force myself to look at what my future w3ight will be if I don't stop b1ngeing

sigh

focach with the last of the rosemary from the garden 🥲🍞

fell in the mud again 😢 but I found a vintage beer can so it was worth it

the urges persist but so do I

came very close to putting this on my mouth before I stopped to check the exp date. I've moved six times since then so this ch4pstick has lived with me at least 7 different addresses. 0bama was still pres1d3nt when this expired. crazy

sometimes I wish I had normal tr1ggers so I could benefit more from TW/CWs. the things that have given me trouble lately include a specific brand of peanut butter and a book passage about n0rweg1an am3r1cans

we were able to fix this ourselves thank fck it was just the switch and not the wiring, last time we had electrical work done in the house it was very $$$ because of the "hazardous condition" of our vintage k&t system so 🤠

I asked my husband what his favorite cozy h0liday activity was and he responded "watching h0ckey" so 🙄 my fault for asking

I am out in the woods saying goodbye to all my favorite deer 🫡

🫩

the wiring in my kitchen is being weird so I guess we're doing the dishes by candlelight again