Chris Wray would have caught this guy by now. Just sayin’

This is a masterpiece. Simply excellent www.instagram.com/reel/DMVGMIC...

Every rap act in the world this morning.

Hey guys first day training Grok to give informed meteorological updates following the tragic flooding in Texas. I found a bunch of weather journals called The Daily Stormer to plug in. Let me know how it works! TY.

The average American has three friends.

Stock Market closes higher on word from pathological liars that China is going to make a deal. Wall Street are all dudes who don’t want to believe their girlfriend is cheating on them and propose to convince themselves.

Navarro on CNBC right now

Guy on CNBC disassociating in real time. Are we cooked.

There’s a player for Houston named Tuggler and it sounds like the name of a Batman villain whose gimmick is jerking off.

Me when I find out the male fashion guy is gunning for me.

Maybe it’s cope, but I think the economy tanking is the thing that gets the screws put to Trump. This is America, we’re more afraid of being poor than being dead.

they separated butterball into his component parts

Flying my Criterion Collection at half mast for the rest of the year.

Jesus Christ Darby. That had to suck.

Me to the ominously masked messenger when I decline the invite to the Eyes Wide Shut orgy.

True maturity is recognizing The Riverbottom Nightmare Band won the Frogtown Hollow Talent Show going away. Sorry Ma and Emmet Otter, Chuck and company killed that shit.

Feeling cute. Might escape the Black Lodge later idk.

Just a smol bean. Just a little guy really. Never hurt anyone. Didn’t call any of the shots that screwed people out of their savings or their lives. UHC gave him 43 million dollars cause he could lighten the mood by reciting lines from The Big Lebowski.

The thing with The Muppets is when they show up, I’m always like, “oh I wonder what Kermit has been doing. He looks healthy.” Not that they were just pulled out of an ammo case and put on camera.

We got any more conventionally attractive Italians with incoherent politics named something like Mario Primavera or Giuseppe Mammamia?

Nah. They gone and caught the Count of Monte Cristo.

Worst thing McDonalds has done all year and they killed folks with tainted onions.

You know sports salaries are getting ridiculous when I have to use my calculator to get the per year average.

If you squint Myles Borne looks like late aughts Randy Orton.

Or Harris would have stumped with Cigna or Anthem’s CEO and “I am Speaking-ed” a M4A activist.

I’ve seen enough. Kommander needs to run the table and win the Continental Classic.

The cynic in me feels like we are closer to getting gun control than M4A in this country. Think Reagan and the Black Panthers.

Going back to X from Blue Sky feels like leaving Mother Abagail in Boulder to go see Randall Flagg in Vegas. Sure the vibes are better, but sometimes you want to see deranged freaks with nuclear hot takes. Can’t help myself.

Watching that CEO get got and saying the phrase “Cool Zone” to the melody of The Capitols’ Cool Jerk.

Putting in a bid with the Department of Defense to replace the retinal scanners with breathalyzers when Pete Hegseth gets confirmed.

My toxic trait is that I think a Dremel can cut through any nail.

Collin Farrell is attempting Brando in On the Waterfront level naturalistic acting while wearing a fat suit and pronouncing the word certainly like “soy-tan-lee”. One of the new wonders of the world.

Now watching: The Duellists (Ridley Scott 1977)

Should have had Big AJ in the Toru Yano breather spot. Assume Jay White is going to be involved in the main event at Worlds End.

Well that was the dumbest game of the year.

Oh brother, this noon slate of NFL games STINKS.

Took a longer walk than usual and Parvati needed a break to take it all in.

He looks like a Bethesda NPC broken down from concept to actual gameplay.

Oh. China is definitely going to invade Taiwan now. The dumbest Fox anchor at DoD? That’s a like Bugs Bunny dressed as Carmen Miranda level of bait.