Valemtimes for you

Fappy fat cock Friday everyone #fcf

Fyat cawk fwidee #fcf

Good morning campers!

Pretty sure I’m down to 50% hearing loss in my left ear. Sounds like I’m in deep water when I don’t use my right ear. Sounds like that’s a fun thing I’ve always been expecting. If you’ll pardon the pun.

Saturdays are for jockstraps

Just a real quick mid day snooze

Here’s to the tits

Horny new year to you all 💖

Forgot to leave yall a present sorry it’s late.

Hey put your nose right here. I’m trying to see something.

Gobble gobble

Y’all. I saved my home from danger. There was what I had thought at first glance was a wolf spider on my wall. And I don’t have no quarrels with wolf spiders. I know they do the goodly works. So I gathered me a cup an a card so I could do what my mama never taught me and release it yonder.

Re: Animorphs re-read: 21 mainline and 3 ancillary books in and had the first mention of the World Trade Center. Applegate said “Never forget!”

Someone been roaming around Missouri scribbling my phone number in bathroom stalls. Been getting upwards of 10 calls from unknown numbers everyday for like 2 weeks. I should start answering them “Madame Medusa’s Pawn Shoppe Bou-TIQUE”

Potentially the campaign closer on our DnD game tomorrow. I made lemon bars and tzatziki for turkey pita sammiches. I better get 2 fuckin inspiration points or so help me Moradin

Dick slip.

I’m re-reading the Animorphs series. Shit holds up. I mean it’s dated for sure with rad teen language. But it’s genuinely enthralling and scary. Anyway

Anyone else flirt by just doing bits? Like I’ll world build and create lore off one 😂 and run with it. “They think I’m funny let’s expound on this one thing they laughed at! Tra-la-la teehee!” Oh god no they … oh no they didn’t … oh fuck. I’m the only one here now.

Balls? Let me hold your balls?

I smushed my finger with a tenderizer hammer. Someone come kiss my balls… I mean my finger.

Waiting for another round.

Ghost of Yotei is out now. It’ll probably take five days to download but as soon as it does I’m LOCKING IN.

Won’t catch me slipping.

Cannot be contained

I lay my #fcf offering at the alter

‘Chu doin down there? Oh #fcf right. Carry on

Peanits for your thots?

SC memory where I think my dick looked pretty. That’s all here.

See a pit, post a pit. Good boy

Hey, have you done a ball check? You know for health and stuff? Need a hand? Second opinions? Lemme help. They look heavy anyway bro.

Who wants to have a dick war? It’s like thumb wars but more fun.

I’m gonna watch the mini doc about dimension 20 at Maddison square garden. I know I’m gonna cry. I KNOW I’m gonna cry.

The absolute insane way my energy dives on the ride home from work should be studied. This guy has whipped between 2 lanes 11 times in before this 1 stop light and I’m back here about to snooooooooze yall. Like I hope he doesn’t get hit because that’ll cut into my nap time.

Feeling like I wanna get bent over and disrespected

*nut tap* Need me to kiss your boo-boo?

Fat Thigh Friday

Is it #fcf again? Good

The nude beach is all fun and games until you get sand caught in your butt hair

Bull Dad has your Sunday morning sausage right here Hungry?

Let’s touch tips 😈 #gay #gaybear #chubbydad

Legs up and waiting

Beef. It’s what’s for dinner😉 #gay #gaypic #beefymen #beefy #alphamale #hairymen #hairychest #hairyass #bwc #cock #feet #armpits #pubes #hairylegs #manspread #taint

Jesus died so we can sin

Where the fuck do I get poppers now?

Proof of life

Thank goodness for NADDPod getting me through a 12 hour shift. I haven’t had a customer come in in 2 hours.

Have some cake on this Pi day

All my poppers are stale af. 🥲. Someone buy me new bottles?

TikToks that start with “Come with me to (insert whatever)” is an immediate pass. Unless it’s “come with me to this gooning gangbang” I’m not interested.